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墨書 Inktalez
I silently looked at him.
He sneered, "Zhou Ya, what right do you have to make Xiao Yang take these five stabs for you?"
I closed my eyes briefly and then opened them again. "So how am I supposed to atone?"
"..." He fell silent.
Xiao Peng's girlfriend came over.
She stood at the door of the private room waiting for Xiao Peng, who was entangled with her for a moment before coming in.
I slumped weakly on the sofa.
"Xiao Peng, what do you want in order to return Xiao Yang to me?"
He scoffed, "Zhou Ya, why do you insist on hiding behind Xiao Yang for the rest of your life?"
"..." I silently stared at him.
He coldly laughed, "Zhou Ya, Xiao Yang can't be your shield forever."
"..." I clenched my fists tightly.
"Zhou Ya, you must grow up."
"..." I closed my eyes again.
"Zhou Ya, as long as you grow up, Xiao Yang will come back."
I shut my eyes.
Xiao Yang, oh Xiao Yang.
Can you come back?
Every night I curl up in bed reading Xiao Yang's diary.
His diary from when he was sixteen is filled with my name.
He said he liked me and wanted to protect me.
He said he would study hard and earn a lot of money to support me in the future.
He said he wanted to marry me.
He said he wanted to give me a home.
As I looked on, tears began to flow.
Suddenly, my phone received a scheduled email.
On this day last year, Xiao Yang sent me a timed email.
“Zhou Ya, I love you.”
“Do you know? I have a second personality.”
“His name is Xiao Peng.”
“He exists to protect me.”
“Zhou Ya, don’t be afraid. I will always protect you.”
“Trust me.”
As I looked on, tears began to flow again.
Xiao Yang, you must be in so much pain, right?
Why do you have to be so foolish?
Why?
Why?!
After handling everything at the company and saying goodbye to the Xiao family parents,
I went to find Xiao Peng.
The last time I would seek him out.
The wound on my wrist had already scabbed over.
I absentmindedly picked at it, feeling the pain.
By the time Xiao Peng arrived, I had been sitting for quite a while.
The coffee had gone cold.
He sat down on the sofa, and I took the antidepressants out of my bag.
I poured them all onto the table.
He frowned at me.
"What do you mean?"
I looked at him.
"My antidepressants," I said. "My depression has relapsed recently, I've been losing hair, and I've already taken a lot of medication."
"So?" He stared at me.
"If I take all these pills," I said, "can you give Xiao Yang back to me?"
He suddenly laughed.
"Zhou Ya, have you gone mad?"
I remained silent, looking at him.
"If you take these pills, you might not survive," he said. "Are you bargaining with your life?"
I clenched my fists tightly.
"I can die," I said, "but Xiao Yang must live."
He looked at me.
"Alright," he said. "I promise you."
Then he left.
I went to the convenience store to buy a bottle of water, sat under an old tree, and divided the pills into three doses before swallowing them down.
At first, it was just a stomach ache, then a headache, and soon my consciousness began to fade.
Half an hour later, I was slumped over a stone slab, tears blurring my vision as I saw Xiao Yang's figure.
He stood in the sunlight, smiling at me.
He said he loved me.
I had a dream.
In the dream, Xiao Yang returned to my side. He sat by the hospital bed, calling my name.
“Zhou Ya,” he said.
“Zhou Ya, wake up,” he urged. “Don’t sleep.”
I tried to touch his face, but my hand passed through his shoulder.
It was then that I realized I was already dead.
I wanted to merge with the me on the hospital bed. I tried for a long time, and finally succeeded.
Then I opened my eyes.
Xiao Yang looked at me in surprise.
“Zhou Ya,” he said, “Zhou Ya.”
I stared at him.
Suddenly, I realized I was still alive.
Xiao Yang was still alive.
I reached out and took his hand.
Xiao Yang paused for a moment.
Then he held my hand tightly.
This time, I wouldn’t let go of Xiao Yang’s hand again.
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