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墨書 Inktalez
“Xia Xia, how have you been?” Lu Ningyuan asked me cautiously, standing at my doorstep.
“I’m fine, but I’d be better if you didn’t show up,” I replied coldly.
“I... I just wanted to know how you were doing. I didn’t sign the waiver; they’re in prison now. The doctor from that shady clinic lost his license and is behind bars too. My brother is drowning in online debt, and the creditors are hounding him for repayment. I haven’t been involved anymore. Xia Xia, can we reconcile? Please?”
“Lu Ningyuan, what are you thinking? Just seeing you reminds me of Xiaobao, reminds me of her father, who, in the name of his so-called filial piety, wanted to trade her life for six hundred thousand!” I couldn’t speak to Lu Ningyuan calmly; all I wanted was for him to disappear from my sight.
“Xia Xia... I’m sorry. I was really exhausted back then. My parents were constantly demanding from me, and it suffocated me, which made me think that way.”
“Xia Xia, I realize my mistakes now. I know I’ve wronged Xiaobao and you. But I truly love you; I want to be with you,” Lu Ningyuan said urgently, his eyes filled with pleading and regret.
I looked at him, my heart a tumult of emotions. We once loved each other so deeply and dreamed of a future together. Yet reality was so cruel that it shattered our dreams. Xiaobao’s departure left me heartbroken and completely disappointed in Lu Ningyuan and his family.
“Lu Ningyuan, we can’t go back. Xiaobao’s absence has drawn an insurmountable chasm between us. I can’t forgive you or your family,” I said firmly, my gaze resolute.
“And I’ve known about your affair with Xu Yan for a long time. Please don’t disturb me again; it’s disgusting.”
At my words, Lu Ningyuan trembled slightly, despair flashing in his eyes. He knew that I had uncovered everything; he could no longer hide the truth.
After Xiaobao left us, when I discovered I was pregnant with Xiao Xiao, I hesitated about whether to give Lu Ningyuan another chance. After all, it was his parents who were at fault; his choice for six hundred thousand was merely a moment of confusion. But when I found the chat records between him and Xu Yan, I realized how foolish I had been.
Lu Ningyuan had cheated on me while I was pregnant with Xiaobao; he was involved with Xu Yan from the same department. The chat logs on the computer were unbearable to read; while I endured the torment of late pregnancy, he was enjoying the thrill outside our marriage.
After experiencing the sudden death of my daughter and my husband’s infidelity during my pregnancy, I fell into depression.
Initially, while in the hospital, I didn’t terminate the pregnancy because I felt that this child was Xiaobao returning to me since I hadn’t loved her properly before. She hoped for another chance at being loved.
By the eighth month of pregnancy, with all the physical discomforts combined with depression, my mental state completely collapsed. During the cesarean section, the baby had already suffocated due to lack of oxygen in the womb. Not hearing my child’s cries and seeing the sympathetic gazes of the doctors extinguished any desire for survival within me. I wanted to leave this world with Xiaobao and my newborn.
“Mommy, Mommy, don’t come,” Xiaobao’s voice echoed in my ears.
Soft and tender, Xiao Xiao felt like a warm bundle as her gentle hand touched my face.
“Mommy, Grandpa and Grandma are waiting for you; please don’t disappoint them,” she said.
“Xiaobao, wait for Mommy! Mommy will go with you,” I urged as her voice grew fainter.
“Mommy, just a little longer! Xiaobao is waiting for you. You need to get better quickly; I'm waiting for you to come get me.” Her voice faded away.
“Xiaobao!” I desperately tried to grasp her.
I woke up abruptly to see my parents’ tearful faces blurred through my tears.
No, I can't die. I have to find Xiao Bao. Where should I go to look for Xiao Bao?
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