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墨書 Inktalez
As the halftime buzzer echoed through the arena, the lights suddenly went out, plunging the venue into brief darkness. The audience, thinking it was the start of a stage show, eagerly grabbed their phones to prepare for selfies with flash. In the next moment, a spotlight descended from above, illuminating a familiar bald figure at center court.
Adam Silver, the NBA Commissioner, held a microphone and slowly walked to the center. It was as if he were announcing a sacred arrival, his voice booming like a hymn that resonated in everyone’s ears.
“Ladies and gentlemen, basketball fans around the world, and sneaker collectors of the universe—tonight we witness the wildest halftime show in basketball history! But before we kick off the third quarter, I want to introduce three legendary figures you will never forget!”
The lights exploded back on, and the first to step forward was Xiao Jingteng. Dressed in an all-black suit with explosive curly hair, he wore a confident smile that said “I’m not afraid.” With one hand in his pocket and the other holding a basketball, he looked ready to launch into a thunderous concert. The crowd erupted into artificial rain as many sprayed dry ice; Xiao Jingteng took a deep breath and declared, “I’m here, and even the Rain God can dunk!”
Next up was Lin Shu Wei, Jeremy Lin’s younger brother, who appeared on stage with a gentle demeanor. He was still wearing Shou Hao's practice jersey and held a basketball as if he had just walked over from his home court. The audience immediately cheered, “Brother! Brother!” He waved at everyone with a smile that seemed to say, “Hey, don’t get too excited; I’m just passing through.”
Just when the crowd thought the atmosphere might settle down, the third legendary figure, Xiao Fu, burst onto the scene with an audacious swagger. Wearing a jersey from ten years ago and a backward cap, he couldn’t stop talking. He snatched the microphone from Silver and shouted:
“Everyone calm down! I didn’t want to come today; Silver begged me to be here!”
The audience erupted in laughter, even Poole stood up from the bench to applaud.
Xiao Fu turned to face the crowd and brought the microphone close to his lips, suddenly adopting an extremely serious tone:
“At my peak, I played against The Professor. Did he take it easy on me? No way—he gave it his all. Do you understand? He was playing for his life!”
The crowd went wild; even Curry turned to give him a thumbs up while Harden laughed and shook his head saying, “This guy is my idol.”
Xiao Fu continued: “I’m not some superstar; I’ve never played in the NBA. But I’ve survived in one-on-one games and two-on-one games at night markets. I may not be on ESPN, but I’ve blocked shots in your boyfriend’s Instagram highlights.”
The audience was laughing so hard they were pounding their fists on the ground, while players around applauded in respect. Poole even pulled out his phone for a selfie: “I need to take a picture with this legend; today’s worth every penny even if we don’t play!”
Silver laughed so hard he could barely catch his breath as he reclaimed the microphone and said: “These three are legends of Taiwan and Asian street basketball. We applaud them not for how many points they scored but because they have made basketball more meaningful.”
Xiao Fu flashed a peace sign but then suddenly pulled up for a three-pointer—uncontested—the ball swished cleanly through the net. He turned around and shouted: “I just warmed up; I can go play a quarter now!”
The referee almost really made him substitute out Poole.
Just as the players stepped back onto the court, ready to start the third quarter, Silver raised the microphone again and boldly declared, "Hold on! This game is too crazy; we need to take a moment to cool down and let more people know—this isn’t just basketball; this is culture, this is soul, this is—showtime!"
The lights focused once more on the center court, and three golden high chairs slowly rose from below the floor, like altars emerging. Xiao Jingteng, Lin Shu Wei, and Xiao Fu sat upright, turning to face the audience. At this moment, they were not here to play; they were the only ones qualified to speak today—the commentary dream team.
Xiao Jingteng spoke first, his voice deep and sultry: "Today’s game… feels like the calm before a thunderstorm; the tension is so thick I can hardly breathe. Curry’s three-pointer? That’s lightning; Harden’s step-back? Those are raindrops; KD’s shot? That’s the thunder itself."
Lin Shu Wei took over the microphone, his tone gentle yet direct: "I believe this is not just a battle of skills; it’s a dissection of tactics and a clash of wills. I noticed towards the end of the second quarter that the Heavenly Kings Team started to let Tatum go on defense, which could become a weakness in the third quarter—if it were me, I would tell him to go for it directly!"
Xiao Fu scoffed and flicked his hat: "Too tactical! Let’s add some street flavor, shall we? I’m telling you, once Poole hit that logo shot, I knew things were getting serious. That guy isn’t playing a game; he’s filming a movie—and he’s both director and star!"
The entire arena erupted in laughter, the atmosphere in the audience heated up by the trio. The camera cut to the sidelines where players couldn’t help but eavesdrop while warming up and laughing heartily.
The arena lights dimmed again, a spotlight shining in the center. Silver excitedly walked onto the stage, his tone carrying an unprecedented mischievousness as if a wild show was about to unfold.
"Ladies and gentlemen, basketball fans around the world, please hit pause on your hearts because—the third quarter isn’t starting yet."
A chorus of groans erupted from the audience.
But Silver raised his palm like a magician revealing a trick: "However—we’re going to have a showdown above basketball first."
He pointed to the sidelines: "Tonight, this isn’t just a game; it’s a cultural feast. Now, I want to invite two 'coaching legends' for a face-off in a rap battle!"
The crowd gasped in excitement.
The lights on either side of the stage lit up.
On the left, Jay Chou wore a loose gray hoodie, the brim casting a shadow over his eyebrows, with one earphone dangling from his ear. He walked slowly towards the stage, his face devoid of a smile, exuding only calmness and confidence, as if he had already composed the rhythm for this showdown.
On the right, the soul of Honeymoon Period Popo—Zhang Jianing—donned an eye-catching modified blazer and shiny silver boots, a mischievous smile playing at her lips. Holding a crystal microphone, she strutted onto the stage, tossing her hair back, fully embodying a rap version of a dark sorceress.
The crowd erupted into madness. Even Curry squatted on the ground, clapping his hands, while Harden whistled loudly, and Poole grabbed a water bottle to act as a DJ, setting the rhythm.
Silver stepped back with a grin, shouting to the audience: "The rules of the rap battle are simple—one minute back and forth. Who wins? The audience decides! Three special hosts, are you ready?"
Suddenly, the screen split into three panels:
Xiao Jingteng: Wearing sunglasses and holding a bottle of mineral water, he looked ready to enter rain god mode. "Let me say this first: whoever has the tightest rhymes gets rain from me."
Lin Shu Wei: Appearing as if he was about to preach but with an excited expression instead. "I may not have played in the NBA, but I’ve played drums; I understand rhythm."
Xiao Fu: One hand clutching popcorn and the other holding a scorecard, he declared bluntly: "I’ll be strict; if you don’t bring that streetball spirit, you’re getting zero points."
The lights flickered as the rhythm kicked in; the background DJ dropped the beat with heavy drum hits—
Jay Chou was the first to speak. He didn’t look at Zhang Jianing but bowed his head and hummed twice before unleashing an incredibly fast flow:
"I’m the conductor on the sidelines; players’ heartbeats follow my fingertips,
You talk shares and numbers while I paint landscapes, destroying rhythm with music.
The ball in my heart isn’t just round; it’s notes, it’s poetry, it’s an unquenchable flame of faith,
You rely on capital stacking; I rely on soul stacking. Do you understand this difference, Zhang Jianing?"
The crowd exploded; even fans in the audience were in tears. "So cool! This isn’t just rap; it’s lyrics igniting hearts!"
Zhang Jianing maintained her smile. As soon as the beat shifted, she immediately countered with a sharp and precise voice that pierced through her opponent's throat:
"You write about love; I write contracts. You use music; I use strategy,
The court is your stage? Then I’ve already bought up all the land deeds for that entire stage."
"The coach shouldn't be singing; he should be managing the game. Don't hide your incompetence behind rhymes. Your tactics go in circles like a melody, while my moves hit like a power surge, cutting the connection!"
The audience gasped, and Lin Shu Wei couldn't help but exclaim, "That was pretty harsh."
Xiao Jingteng remarked, "It... started to rain..." Sure enough, a bit of dry ice was released on stage, and the atmosphere felt as if a chill had been cast by her words.
But Jay Chou smiled slightly, pulled out a pair of sunglasses from his pocket, and dove into the second verse:
"I don't need electricity; my lyrics are enough.
My tactics leave them empty-handed while your plans only bring the players despair.
Do you know what a legend is? It's not about shares; it's about someone playing my tracks in their ears for ten years without getting tired.
You’re behind the players throwing money around; I stand beside them igniting their destiny!"
Bang! Xiao Fu threw his entire bag of popcorn into the air. "That line just—sunk the soul right into basketball!"
The crowd erupted in cheers, with signs proclaiming "Jay Chou Wins" making up ninety percent of the audience. Yet Zhang Jianing's smile remained. She understood that this wasn't just about winning or losing; it was about carving her name into the minds of all those present—a true masterclass in promotion.
In the final second, Silver raised both hands. "Thank you to our two rap coaches for letting us witness a cultural showdown!"
The audience roared with excitement. Xiao Fu had already taken off his shirt, ready to dunk, while Xiao Jingteng began to set the rhythm. Lin Shu Wei held up the scorecard—"100 points."
But at that moment, a message appeared on the screen:
"System Alert: The third quarter is about to commence. Battle Restart."
The players slowly returned to the court, their gazes sharper than ever. They were no longer just stars; now, they were the main characters.
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