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Psychology
墨書 Inktalez
Recently, I discovered something that has been troubling me greatly.
The expression on the woman’s face made it clear.
She glanced at Doctor Qinghe across from her, who was clearly encouraging her to continue with a reassuring look. This gave her the motivation she needed.
The woman slightly raised her head, her fair and delicate face now showing a look of confusion and bewilderment. “It’s like this. I’ve realized that I seem to have forgotten some very important things... but no matter how hard I try, I just can’t remember... They must be very significant... yet I have no evidence to prove that they ever happened…”
Doctor Qinghe frowned slightly. “Hui Nai, sometimes people can experience neurosis due to poor sleep, malnutrition, or irregular schedules, leading to delusions…”
The woman named Hui Nai suddenly became agitated. “Are you doubting that I’m imagining things too, Doctor Qinghe? You don’t believe me either!”
The doctor remained calm. “Hui Nai, you also said that there’s no way to prove that these things happened. Usually, we can ignore things that lack presence.”
“Just because I can’t feel something means it doesn’t exist? For example, there’s a train two hundred miles away from me right now. I can’t feel it; does that mean it doesn’t exist? Is Doctor Qinghe also being idealistic and self-deceiving? Are all psychologists living in a self-woven lie with their patients and everyone else?”
Doctor Qinghe smiled wryly but was clearly accustomed to her potential outbursts. He gently raised his hand to signal Hui Nai to calm down.
Hui Nai indeed settled down. “I’m sorry, Doctor Qinghe…”
Qing He replied softly, “There’s no need to apologize; I understand. But Hui Nai, why should we care about the existence of things that won’t affect our lives? For instance, that train two hundred miles away—perhaps you will never encounter it in your life or have any connection with it. So its existence or non-existence has no bearing on you.
“Psychologists are not omnipotent. Often, to help our patients feel safe and normal, we need to create some harmless and non-illegal lies and illusions.”
Hui Nai's face showed signs of despair and frustration as she slowly leaned back in her chair, letting out a weak voice, "But Qing He, how do you know that those things don't affect me at all? I can feel it; those lost memories are an incredibly important part of my life and existence."
Doctor Qinghe responded gently, "Hui Nai, if they were truly important, you wouldn't forget them. You simply wouldn't be able to."
The look of confusion and helplessness on Hui Nai's face was enough to make anyone who saw her feel a pang of sorrow. "No, that's not true, Qing He. I don't know why... it's about Ryoji... but I just can't remember..."
Hui Nai's boyfriend, Hiroshi Hirota, was an outstanding and accomplished man—tall, handsome, and deeply in love with Hui Nai.
Anyone would say that they were the perfect couple. They had even decided to hold their wedding in August.
Doctor Qinghe certainly remembered that the last time Hui Nai visited, she had worn her engagement ring, her face filled with joy and excitement at the thought of becoming a wife.
However, all that happiness turned into a fleeting dream with Ryoji's death.
Hiroshi Hirota passed away one night in obscurity.
Even Hui Nai, who had slept beside him all night long, did not notice when the cold lips of death kissed the man she loved.
When she awoke, she found Ryoji's breath had ceased, his body already cold.
Later examinations revealed that Ryoji had died from a sudden heart attack.
At that moment, only 23 days remained until Hui Nai and Ryoji's originally planned wedding date.
The pain and fear brought about by this incident were an immense blow to Hui Nai. The death of her fiancé, along with the regret and guilt of not being able to notice his illness in time while he was by her side, was almost unbearable.
As a result, she moved into a rehabilitation center, where she stayed for over two months.
It seems that her mention of forgetting some important things was likely tied to her lingering feelings about Ryoji's death, which subconsciously triggered obsessive-compulsive-like hallucinations.
However, regardless of the circumstances, Doctor Qinghe would not stand idly by and allow Hui Nai to suffer.
On one hand, this was rooted in the ethical responsibilities of a psychologist. On the other hand, Qing He often found herself questioning whether her actions were influenced by the fact that the patient was Hui Nai.
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