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墨書 Inktalez
After the trial concluded, the judge announced a recess, with a decision to be made on a later date.
Back at the detention center, I began to reflect on the thirteen years I spent with Liu Yun. We once loved each other so deeply; how did we end up here? What if I hadn’t agreed to the DINK lifestyle? Would everything be different if we had our own children? If I hadn’t undergone the sterilization procedure, would Liu Yun still have chosen to cheat? What if I hadn’t come home early that day and discovered that report? Could we have continued our lives together, even if it was just a facade?
These questions swirled in my mind, yet they would never find answers.
Two weeks later, the court convened for sentencing.
"The defendant, Yang Jianyun, is found guilty of Intentional Homicide and sentenced to Death Penalty, with a two-year reprieve, and deprived of political rights for life."
At that moment, I felt nothing. The Death Penalty felt more like a release to me.
Upon returning to prison, I was placed in the section for Death Row inmates. Life here was monotonous and routine: wake up at six in the morning, eat, work, eat, rest, eat, sleep. Day after day, it felt like an endless silent film.
In this place, I had plenty of time to think. I began to review my life, especially those pivotal choices. I could have refused Liu Yun’s DINK request and insisted on having a child of my own. I could have been less quick to agree to the sterilization procedure and retained some options for myself. After Liu Yun’s infidelity, I could have chosen to part ways amicably instead of resorting to violence.
But it was all too late. I made the worst choices and paid the most painful price.
In prison, I met someone with a similar situation—Li Qiang. He was also sentenced to Death Penalty for killing his wife. The difference was that after his wife cheated on him, she took their child and their savings with her.
"You know," Li Qiang said to me, "sometimes I feel like all of this is destined. People like us, the honest ones, are just meant to be deceived and used."
Li Qiang let out a cold laugh. "When you realize that everything you've given has turned into a joke, who can remain calm?"
I fell silent. Indeed, at that moment, I had completely lost my reason.
"I just don't understand," I said softly, "why couldn't she just tell me the truth directly? Why did she have to deceive me for so many years?"
"Because they only care about themselves," Li Qiang scoffed. "What they want is a stable life, the feeling of being taken care of. Once they find a better option, they'll abandon you without hesitation."
I recalled how Liu Yun had once treated me well—her smile, her thoughtfulness, those moments we spent together. I didn't want to believe that all of it was fake.
"Maybe," I sighed. "Perhaps if we had communicated better back then, we wouldn't have ended up here."
Li Qiang patted my shoulder. "Don't think too much about it, brother. What's the use in pondering these things now?"
Yes, what was the use? Liu Yun was already gone, and I would soon face death as well. It was all too late.
I couldn't help but wonder how many people like me were struggling on the edge of love and hate in this world. How many would make irreversible decisions in a moment of impulse?
If you are experiencing a marital crisis, remember my lesson: no matter how angry or hurt you feel, violence is not the solution. It will only bring more pain and regret.
Life is only lived once; cherish it, and also cherish those you love and who love you.
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