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墨書 Inktalez
That evening, I logged into the game with my mind elsewhere. Zero messaged me as usual: "Salty Fish, have you finished your homework?"
Looking at the familiar ID and avatar on the screen, I couldn't help but think of Gu Yan's expressionless face from earlier that day. For a moment, I was at a loss for how to respond.
"I... I finished it," I typed hesitantly.
"That's good. What's up today? You seem a bit off," Zero observed keenly.
I took a deep breath, deciding to approach the topic indirectly. "Zero, can I ask you a question?"
"Sure."
"Are you... pretty aloof in real life too?"
There was silence on the other end for a few seconds before he replied, "Why do you ask?"
"Oh, it's nothing. Just feels like... there should be quite a contrast between your online and offline selves, right?" I chose my words carefully.
Another pause followed, this one longer. Just when I thought he wouldn't reply, he sent back, "Maybe."
Maybe? What kind of ambiguous answer is that?
I felt even more conflicted. "So... do you know someone named Gu Yan?" I decided to be more direct.
This time, Zero didn't respond at all.
In the game interface, his character stood beside mine, motionless. But I could sense that he wasn't as calm as his avatar on the other side of the screen.
My heart sank. Had I guessed right? Was he... confirming it? Or was he angry?
I stared at the chat box, my heart racing and palms sweating.
After what felt like an eternity—long enough for me to think he had disconnected—his avatar lit up again with a message: "It's getting late; I'm logging off now. You should get some rest too."
Before I could reply, his avatar faded away.
He logged off?! He actually logged off?!
I stared at the gray avatar, feeling utterly helpless.
Gu Yan! You big liar! Just wait!
After Zero (or, suspected to be Gu Yan?) went offline, I didn't sleep well the whole night. In my mind, there was Gu Yan's cold face, and then there was ZeroJian Xi Xi's emoticons. The two images kept overlapping and splitting, making me dizzy. The next day, I went to class with two dark circles under my eyes, and I was listless. What's worse, this class was an elective class where Gu Yan was also present. I secretly glanced at him. He looked no different from usual, still with that expression of keeping strangers away, listening to the class seriously and taking notes. But I always felt that he seemed... particularly uncomfortable today? For example, when the teacher asked questions, he was not the first to raise his hand for the first time. For example, I accidentally dropped my pen on the ground, making a little noise, and his shoulders were obviously stiff. For example, when the get out of class was over, he almost walked out of the classroom with his hands and feet, and his back looked a little hurried. Could it be...he was also feeling guilty? This discovery made me feel a little more balanced. Humph, big liar, let's see how long you can pretend! I decided to take the initiative and test it. In the afternoon, I went to the library with a pile of books, and sure enough, I saw Gu Yan in the old place. I took a deep breath, walked straight over, and sat down opposite him. He looked up at me, his eyes flickered, and whispered, "What a coincidence." "Yes, what a coincidence." I smiled but didn't smile. I took out my mobile phone from my schoolbag, deliberately opened the login interface of Mobile Game, and turned up the volume a little. The familiar game startup music sounded. I observed Gu Yan with the corner of my eye. I saw that his fingers holding the pen suddenly tightened, and even the tip of the pen left a heavy mark on the paper. But there was still no expression on his face, just lowered his head, pretending to read seriously. There is a reaction! I laughed in my heart and continued to increase the bet. I logged into the game account (specially used for peeking at the screen), opened the friend list, and found Zero's avatar. He was gray and not online. I deliberately muttered to myself in a moderately loud voice: "Hey, why didn't Zero come online again today? Without Zero to lead me, I can't even complete the dungeon..."
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