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From Stand-In to True Love
墨書 Inktalez
I met Zhou Wei in our junior year.
During that elective class, I was sitting at the edge, with a glass cup on my desk. As Zhou Wei passed by, he accidentally knocked it over, and the sound of shattering glass made me instinctively pull my feet back. He was startled too and immediately asked if I was okay, then began to apologize.
I had actually noticed him before; he was handsome and quite well-known in our major. My roommates often showed me pictures of him. I smiled and waved my hand to indicate it was fine, watching as he took a broom and dustpan to clean up the mess.
I thought he would leave after that, but to my surprise, he pulled out his phone and said, "Let's add each other on WeChat; I'll pay you back for the cup."
I was a bit taken aback, but with everyone watching, I had no choice but to add him. He compensated me for the cup, and I thought that would be the end of it.
However, Zhou Wei began to chat with me frequently, and our lives became intertwined. He reserved library seats for me, studied together with me, and even prepared brown sugar water during my menstrual period, reminding me of things to take care of. When it rained, he brought me an umbrella; when I was feeling down, he kept me company.
Gradually, we became familiar with each other, and I opened my heart to him. Within three months, we confirmed our relationship. That day, he held me close and said he was the happiest person in the world. I thought I had found my happiness too.
But now looking back at his words feels ironic. His kindness towards me was merely because I resembled someone named Nian Yin. I remember one time when Zhou Wei got drunk and vaguely called out that name. I didn’t catch it clearly, and when I asked again, he had already fallen silent. My heart ached as if it were being squeezed tightly, and I awkwardly retreated to the bathroom.
I washed my face and collected my emotions before returning to the private room. Zhou Wei and his classmates had moved on from that topic, turning instead to discuss my relationship with Zhou Wei. He only chimed in occasionally, while I surprisingly engaged in a long conversation with strangers, masking my feelings.
As we were about to leave, Zhou Wei went to the restroom, and one of his classmates said to me, "You need to keep an eye on Zhou Wei; someone as handsome as him is the easiest to steal away." He said it half-jokingly, and I responded with a smile, "I trust him; he won't change his mind." I noticed a mix of pity and surprise in his classmate's eyes.
After graduating from university, Zhou Wei and I moved in together, but we didn't sleep in the same bed. He said he was afraid that if we did, he might not be able to resist touching me, and if we didn’t end up together, he would feel guilty for life. At that moment, I felt warm inside; looking back now, it was probably because I didn’t want to sleep with him anyway, so he found an excuse.
I continued to cook for him as usual, spoiled him with affection, and told him I loved him as if I had never heard his conversation with his high school classmates that night. I never asked him about it or brought it up; I just kept being good to him. However, I noticed he had been growing increasingly distant lately.
In the past, when I was on my period, he would take care of me tenderly, kissing and comforting me. Now he merely coldly advised me to drink more hot water before retreating into his room. Over the past few days, even though we lived under the same roof, we barely saw each other; he only came out during meal times.
One night, as I passed by his room on my way to the bathroom, I could still hear him talking, but due to the wall separating us, I couldn't make out what he was saying. That evening at dinner, as I walked past him to get rice, I happened to catch a glimpse of his phone lighting up.
I only glanced at it briefly but managed to see a message: Nian Yin: "I’ll be back in the country next month." Pretending not to have seen anything, I walked around and when I returned, his phone was already flipped over with the screen facing down. Acting oblivious, just as I sat down across from him, he set down his bowl and chopsticks and got up to head back to his room. Before entering his room, he specifically reminded me, "Don’t come into my room unless it's necessary."
I didn't ask why; I simply smiled and agreed.
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