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墨書 Inktalez
It was two years ago.
That time, we went on a picnic with friends and their children.
Jia Jia was having too much fun and accidentally knocked over the condiments for the barbecue.
At that moment, I was only worried about whether Jia Jia would get hurt.
Who would have thought that Jiang Fan would kick Jia Jia down?
He was furious.
Every time Jia Jia acted up a little, he would explode in anger.
But I never expected him to resort to violence in public.
And it was the first time I lost my temper at him in front of others.
Because I scolded him, he left the country for half a month without saying a word.
Jia Jia caught norovirus, vomiting and having diarrhea, and I couldn’t reach him at all.
His mother had an appendicitis attack and had to be taken to the hospital in the middle of the night, yet I still couldn’t find him.
When he finally returned, he acted as if nothing had happened and said he brought me a gift.
I looked at him coldly and simply said, “Let’s get a divorce.”
“That was my most resolute moment in wanting a divorce; I stood firm for a week, but you just wouldn’t agree.
You refused to divorce, then tried to placate me and Jia Jia like countless times before, saying you were wrong and that you would change.
So I softened my stance and said never mind, let’s not get divorced!
But that time, it wasn’t that you convinced me; I was just tired.
Since you wouldn’t agree to the divorce, I planned to sue you, but suing is too troublesome; if things don’t go well, it could drag on for years.
It’s exhausting, so I gave up. Along with all my demands from you, I gave those up too.”
Demands can be quite troublesome.
Once there are demands, there will be expectations; when expectations aren’t met, disappointment follows.
It’s better not to make any demands from the start.
"We have had a pretty calm two years. I no longer ask you to do this or that, nor do I expect you to change. But I have been waiting, waiting for you to show signs of wanting a divorce. I am certain you will cheat, and I even hope you will. I just want us to reach an understanding before you do.
Someone once commented on our relationship, saying that it was too smooth to last long. Men, after all, crave excitement and conquest; when a relationship is too easy, it loses its challenge. Things that come too easily are often not cherished.
At first, I dismissed this notion. I believed that our smooth sailing was due to the strength of our love for each other. Young people tend to think they are the unique lucky ones in the world. While others may go their whole lives without finding love, I was sure I would.
But the reality is that love is like a ghost; you hear about it, but no one really sees it. Over time, the vows we once made became mere memories, and all passion faded into the mundane. Especially in a relationship like mine with Jiang Fan, which was already quite ordinary.
But it doesn’t matter. Love is just one stage of life. Losing it during that stage can be painful, but when the next stage arrives, it becomes nothing more than a fleeting sentiment. We are always moving forward. We will always keep moving ahead!
After the divorce, Jiang Fan became a good father. He takes Jia Jia out to play once a week, and she is absolutely delighted. They go to amusement parks and zoos, doing all those things I couldn't accompany her on."
Just like Jia Jia said, "Daddy lifts me up on his shoulders, so high, but I'm not afraid!"
It's quite ironic. What I once desperately tried to achieve, he now accomplishes effortlessly after our divorce. But I've come to terms with it. The tighter you grip sand, the faster it slips away; sometimes it's better to let go.
One day, Jia Jia whispered to me, "Daddy always wants me to ask Mommy to go out and play, but I don't want to."
I asked her, "Why not?"
She replied, "Because Mommy doesn't want to go."
Jiang Fan's desire to reconcile was almost written on his face. Many old friends believe we will eventually get back together; after so many years of love, how can one just let go?
Jiang Fan said, "I have patience. I will definitely win you back. Hui Hui, I will change and become the person you want me to be. Just wait for me!"
I told him not to bother, but he wouldn't listen. Until I found a new boyfriend.
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