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墨書 Inktalez
I wanted to break free from him.
“Doctor Li, let go of me. It’s not good for anyone to see…”
“We’ve already slept together. Isn’t it a bit late to say that now?”
“Li Yunfan…”
Seeing my eyes red with anxiety, he softened a little and finally released me.
I quickly took out my powder compact to touch up my makeup.
He leaned against the sink, playing with a lighter, seemingly not intending to leave.
“Aren’t you going?”
I put away my things and asked in a lowered voice.
“Are you leaving?”
“I’m about to.”
“Xia Lanlan, do you dare to come with me?”
He slowly straightened up and reached out his hand toward me.
“Li Yunfan?”
I looked at him in disbelief.
“Xia Lanlan, I’m only asking you this once: do you dare to come with me?”
His gaze was intense, and I felt small and insignificant.
In college, I secretly admired him but only dared to hide it deep inside.
In the library, I sat across from him for two hours.
I wrote countless words on a note, crossed them out, and never had the courage to hand it over.
Some people are born as pearls, while I am merely dust.
The girl’s secret feelings etched beneath the tree that I dared not reveal.
The faint yet still jagged scar engraved on my wrist.
The weak, struggling self that I cannot escape.
When my parents passed away, I nearly went with them.
When my mother's kidneys were transplanted into a stranger, I promised Ye Zheng to pursue him that night, as he held me and kissed me.
Even though I felt like I was suffocating, I had to smile and endure.
When he was fooling around with my colleagues and even other women outside, I often wanted to slap him and just walk away.
But in the end, I could only return to his side like a dog.
As long as Ye Zheng doesn’t let go, I will forever be a puppet on strings.
I know Li Yunfan might be my lifeline.
But if I use him to pay off that debt and then be with him, how is that any different from my current situation?
Why should I place him in the same position as Ye Zheng?
I can’t bear to tarnish someone like him.
I can’t stand the thought of him being pointed at, accused of spending lavishly for a woman—especially when that woman is my distant cousin.
So I can only push him away.
Let me sink into the swamp and mire alone.
Let me walk through every layer of hell by myself.
If I am fortunate enough to escape all this and be completely free, perhaps then I will have the courage to confess to him.
I shook my head at him: “In three days, I will be engaged, so Doctor Li, please don’t joke with me like this.”
His gaze gradually dimmed.
Before he could speak, I continued, "I thought my intentions were clear; it was just a momentary indulgence for adults."
"Perhaps you could also see this as my way of venting and retaliating against Ye Zheng's infidelity."
"Venting... and retaliation?"
He slowly chewed on those words, a self-deprecating smile crossing his lips. "So that night was merely your venting and retaliation?"
"Doctor Li... actually, I had a rather pleasant experience that night. If you're willing, I wouldn't mind maintaining this kind of relationship long-term..."
Before I could finish, his expression had already turned ashen.
In the end, he didn’t spare me a glance and walked away.
I watched his retreating figure, leaning weakly against the sink.
My fingers felt icy and trembled uncontrollably.
I gently caressed my face and whispered, "Li Yunfan."
It was like calling his name in a dream during my teenage years.
I recalled that sunny afternoon.
The library was filled with people.
Yet the seat across from him remained empty.
Several girls wanted to sit there but hesitated.
Li Yunfan's demeanor was too cold; he directly rejected any confessions from those he wasn't interested in, showing no mercy.
The girls were shy and feared that being turned away would be too embarrassing.
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