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Chapter 141: Rarely Confused (Part 2)
"How is your mother?"
Suddenly, Han Ling noticed the sorrow that appeared on Wei Yuan's face after hearing his words. For some reason, Han Ling felt a sharp pain in his heart.
He was not such a happy person either. A scam had burdened his family with an unjust debt, leading to his father's death and his mother's disability. Han Ling had heard all about these events.
Of course, the source was his cousin, Xie Yufei. Han Ling found himself particularly relaxed around this girl, as if he could only occasionally show a smile in her presence.
Wei Yuan, however, had never had the chance to see this smile. After several months, he had not seen Han Ling smile even once. A person who has not smiled for months is undoubtedly quite frightening.
"She's doing well. I'm trying to find a way to heal her legs."
Wei Yuan knew that his situation must have been revealed by Xie Yufei. Although she could be a bit sly at times, she was still young and couldn't hide many things.
However, Wei Yuan did not blame his cousin for this issue. Instead, her honesty with Han Ling allowed him to understand Wei Yuan's situation better. Their shared misfortunes enabled them to communicate more effectively.
One cannot understand the pain of those burdened with negative assets from mortgage payments without having experienced it themselves. They often feel anxious and pessimistic, fearing job loss, illness, or expenses.
This lack of shared experience means they cannot empathize with someone living in a house that could be taken away at any moment due to unpaid debts.
Similarly, when you try to comfort someone, they may not appreciate it and might even feel you are being condescending.
This is because you are clearly much happier than the person you are comforting. At that moment, your actions do not serve as comfort but rather create a comparison that may come off as boasting in their eyes.
Only two people who have both suffered can truly understand why the other feels so pessimistic and troubled. Only then can they identify the key issues and genuinely aim to comfort one another.
"It’s quite nice to have a goal to pursue, just like you."
Han Ling's sudden remark caught Wei Yuan off guard. He began to feel that his own understanding was still too shallow. Faced with Han Ling's momentary melancholy reminiscent of Lin Daiyu, he found himself at a loss.
"You can also find a goal for yourself. Sometimes, living requires a bit of hope."
Seeing people talk about it, seeing ghosts talk about it.
Since Han Ling was in the mood for such ethereal discussions, Wei Yuan decided to go along with her and delve into what seemed like soul-stirring topics.
Sure enough, this serious conversation resonated perfectly with Han Ling's current feelings, and her gaze towards Wei Yuan suddenly changed.
It was a strange sensation born from encountering a kindred spirit. She murmured, "You are so much stronger than I am."
"You can be strong too."
Wei Yuan seized the opportunity to respond to her words. Han Ling's spontaneous remark hit the mark for Wei Yuan.
Han Ling asked in confusion, "Can I really?"
Wei Yuan understood one thing clearly: Han Ling was merely putting on a facade of strength on the outside, appearing stern and cold, as if she disregarded everything around her.
However, those who exhibit such behavior are often truly fragile and even extremely sensitive inside, much like a pearl encased in a hard shell.
"If I really healed your face, what would you do next?"
Wei Yuan unwittingly revealed his thoughts at an inopportune moment, leaving Han Ling momentarily speechless.
She couldn't help but place her face over her burn scar, gently stroking it: "Even if it heals, what difference does it make?"
Han Ling meant that she would still have to continue huddling in this house. Wei Yuan knew that she had started learning to earn money from the online games she used to play, utilizing some fixed tasks to scrape together a living.
Moreover, her daily life was already frugally reduced to the bare minimum; aside from the costs of three meals and a place to stay, plus some essential living supplies and internet fees, there were no other expenses.
Wei Yuan had even sneaked into her bathroom and saw that she didn't even prepare basic necessities like cosmetics or facial wash, which are essential for women. She must have become completely indifferent.
This made Wei Yuan feel quite troubled. After he had stood up for her twice before, it seemed that Han Ling had developed some different feelings towards him at that time, even a hint of ambiguous affection.
After her face was disfigured, what man would be willing to look at her twice? Let alone step in to defend her when she was being bullied.
Thus, Wei Yuan's actions undoubtedly touched Han Ling to some extent, even making her develop a slight dependence on this man she had been living with for a few months.
Wei Yuan observed that although she still did not have the habit of dressing up, at least in front of him and even in front of Yang Ying, she was very mindful of her appearance.
The most obvious thing was that she always used her long bangs to cover the burn scar, seemingly unwilling to expose this major flaw in front of herself.
"Am I really becoming a medicine for her?"
After Wei Yuan noticed this situation, he didn't know how to handle it. After all, there hadn't been much interaction between him and Han Ling. Even if he were single, he couldn't accept her so quickly.
Moreover, Han Ling had only developed a slight dependence and affection; as a mature woman, she knew how to measure and control her feelings. Therefore, she was unwilling to tidy up her injured face for Wei Yuan.
It wasn't that she didn't trust Wei Yuan; rather, she subconsciously harbored a resistance towards men. Not to mention taking the initiative to approach and please a man—this was something Han Ling couldn't do.
Originally, their relationship should have ended with the conclusion of their co-renting arrangement. However, Wei Yuan inexplicably took the initiative to offer to help heal her burn scar, which complicated matters.
Han Ling was not a foolish girl. When Wei Yuan first moved in, she paid special attention to him. After all, having a strange man living in the same house would naturally raise a woman's guard.
After several months of interaction, while she couldn't claim to know him completely, Han Ling felt that Wei Yuan was more honest than most men, and even more sincere and genuine.
It was precisely because of this that she developed an unusual affection for Wei Yuan. Now, even if Han Ling wanted to find a boyfriend, she would choose someone who was honest and reliable.
However, what she didn't know was that despite Wei Yuan's seemingly reliable exterior, he had three or four girls with whom he had ambiguous relationships, and many things were beyond his control.
"Don't you ever think about the life you want for yourself?"
Wei Yuan continued to probe. "You don't want to go back and face those people from before, but there's no need to close off your world. You can completely choose the life you want again, can't you?"
"Choose the life I want again?"
Han Ling repeated this phrase in her mind, but a wry smile appeared on her face—a smile tinged with helplessness.
Wei Yuan knew she still lacked the courage to break free from it all. It was like a line from a Wong Kar-wai movie: to avoid being rejected by others, the best way is to reject others first.
That was exactly how Han Ling felt. To avoid being hurt again, she preferred to shut herself off. Everyone has the right to choose their own way of life.
But Wei Yuan felt that this wasn't her true choice; he believed it was merely an escape from reality.
For some reason, Wei Yuan always had an impulse to pull her out of this state. Perhaps it's inevitable in life to want to change others.
"You are not living for others,"
Wei Yuan said with a hint of agitation in his voice. "To change yourself or compromise for someone else's words or gaze? Are you living for others or for yourself?"
Hearing this, Han Ling felt a bit confused, while Wei Yuan continued to speak passionately: "If you want to cry, then cry; if you want to laugh, then laugh. You are a complete individual, not a puppet in someone else's hands. Anyone who wants to control your life can just get lost."
"Is it really okay to do that?" Han Ling clearly had not been raised with such rebellious ideas.
"Why not? If I'm unhappy, I don't care whether you're happy or not. Stop pretending to be clear-headed; why should you constantly worry about how others perceive you? Let them do what they want. There's no need to seek clarity in everything; sometimes it's good to be muddled."
Han Ling seemed to rarely hear such statements, so when Wei Yuan kept delivering one clever remark after another, a glimmer of light suddenly appeared in her eyes.
"Not living for others? Not seeking clarity, embracing confusion?"
Undoubtedly, Wei Yuan's perspective seemed somewhat selfish, but wasn't Han Ling's previous behavior also not entirely selfless?
Always being hypocritical and considering others' feelings, constantly putting herself in others' shoes, while these people weren't even friends?
If she were still in that so-called upper-class society, undoubtedly these people were not to be offended, and she would have to continue wearing that hypocritical mask. But now that Han Ling had chosen to leave, why couldn't she let go?
At least from Wei Yuan's perspective, what belongs to God goes to God, and what belongs to Satan goes to Satan.
"Since you've decided to break free from that kind of life, why can't you live with a new approach and a new attitude? Even if others see you as degenerate, so what? As long as I'm happy and satisfied, that's all that matters. Everything that binds your soul can just go to hell."
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