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A belly full of sorrow and resentment filled Autumn Wind's chest, and Qiu Mowen's words pierced her heart like bullets, as if she were a crumbling wall on the verge of collapse. A gust of wind blew through, playing an incredibly mournful tune.
Autumn Wind was too absorbed in her own sadness to imagine that Qiu Mowen was even more heartbroken than she was at that moment. She would never see or be able to imagine the desolate look on Qiu Mowen's face after he closed the door.
After entering his room, Qiu Mowen leaned against the door and then slid down to the floor like a leaf, following the cold door panel.
His body began to tremble uncontrollably, as countless images related to Autumn Wind flashed through his mind like slides, while his heart felt as if it had dropped like a lead weight.
In the end, he did not have the courage to face the budding feelings he had for Autumn Wind. He could not dare to completely indulge in his relationship with her in front of Qiu Ruolan.
In February, Taipei was cold and oppressive. The chill from the door quickly enveloped Qiu Mowen's bare skin, causing goosebumps to rise on his arms.
And that feeling, which could hardly be called love, was scattered on the ground like grains of rice at the moment it emerged.
A wave of cold swept over him, wrapping around his body like a bandage. The grains that fell to the ground clung densely to his arms, and he couldn't help but cross them.
Suddenly feeling discomfort in his stomach, he rubbed his eyes, sniffed back tears, propped himself up with his arms, and got up from the floor to lie on the bed.
It got dark early but brightened late.
The most direct consequence of prolonged contact with the cold door was that Qiu Mowen caught a cold. Throughout the night, his body temperature fluctuated like a roller coaster; he would sweat intermittently like a timed fountain, only for it to reappear after he finally managed to cool down.
After several cycles of this, he began to feel utterly exhausted.
As dawn broke slightly, Qiu Mowen took a few shallow breaths and finally decided to grope his way out of the room. He mustered all his strength to turn on the light and put on his clothes.
He was unwilling to let Autumn Wind and Qiu Ruolan know that he was sick.
A voice echoed from the depths: Just let yourself die!
Qiu Mowen did not know that his momentary curse would truly come to pass in the future. Although it was merely a negative emotion stemming from heartbreak, the consequences would destroy Qiu Mowen's life.
When Autumn Wind woke up in the morning, she had no reaction to Qiu Mowen's disappearance. She felt abandoned by him, and all the beautiful fantasies she once had vanished like smoke in the wind, lost in Qiu Mowen's words from yesterday.
As New Year's Eve approached, Autumn Wind deliberately avoided any news about Qiu Mowen. However, Qiu Ruolan seemed to know something, occasionally bringing up Qiu Mowen's situation: Ervin and Lily met up, they went to visit my class together, they are now having late-night snacks... Every time Qiu Ruolan mentioned Qiu Mowen's recent activities, it felt like a needle piercing her heart. She wanted to scream loudly: Stop mentioning Qiu Mowen!!! But she was also afraid of being questioned by Qiu Ruolan. She fiercely tapped her oddly shaped coffee cup with a spoon, clinking it to interrupt Qiu Ruolan's incessant chatter.
This state continued until New Year's Eve.
New Year's Eve was supposed to be a time for family reunions, yet Autumn Wind sat alone in front of the television, staring blankly at the programs. Waves of sourness surged from her stomach, as if she had drunk too much lemonade.
She wanted to cry but had no tears.
Just thinking about the image of Qiu Mowen with Lily made countless needles prick her heart. The cheerful scenes on the television were too distressing for Autumn Wind. She decided to get up and go for a walk; perhaps there would be some unexpected surprises. Taipei's New Year's Eve always held many unforeseen delights.
Just as Autumn Wind opened the door to go out, Qiu Ruolan called. Autumn Wind knew she was likely backstage at the government New Year's Eve party and would fly to Japan as soon as the event ended. The noise on the other end was overwhelming—firecrackers and drums nearly burst Autumn Wind's eardrums—but she understood what Qiu Ruolan was trying to convey: During the New Year period, Autumn Wind should stay at Qiu Mowen's place.
"I'm really worried about you being home alone. Go to Ervin Uncle's... take all your things... it's really dangerous for you to be home alone; I'm afraid there might be reporters... Be obedient! There's a key to his house in my room's drawer; go get it. At this time, he might not be home!"
Amidst the rustling words, Autumn Wind heard that nearly every sentence carried concern for her safety. "Alright, alright, I got it! I'm going over now!" Autumn Wind replied impatiently.
Autumn Wind was very curious about Qiu Ruolan's true intentions in caring for her so much. Once upon a time, Qiu Ruolan would add countless secrets even when directly calling Autumn Wind, let alone making such a loud call in a noisy public environment.
Autumn Wind speculated that perhaps she was no longer worried about the exposure of Autumn Wind's identity, or maybe her current situation was absolutely safe. Upon further reflection, who would care about an aunt's phone call during such a festive time?
But one thing was undeniable: the relationship between Autumn Wind and her was slowly improving. It was like the thick snow on the Alps; once a part began to melt, the people at the foot of the mountain would benefit from the abundant spring water.
Of course, spring water could also flood, and disasters were naturally inevitable.
Autumn Wind really did not want to admit that there was a tiny, nauseating thought in her heart. She longed for the flooding of spring water, as it might give her another chance to replan her future with Qiu Mowen.
This phone call from Qiu Ruolan was like a key that reopened Autumn Wind's lingering thoughts of Qiu Mowen. This longing was too heavy and soon overwhelmed her, making it hard to breathe.
Autumn Wind acknowledged that this thought was crazy, at least by today's moral standards.
So she immediately rushed back to her house. Autumn Wind rummaged through her closet; the pink clothes had gradually faded away over time. Aside from the carefully selected pink outfits by Qiu Ruolan and Autumn Wind's old clothes, there were many exquisite women's garments, including several high-end brands like LV and Gucci. As Autumn Wind fiddled with the densely packed hangers, she felt that something was missing from the closet.
After several unsuccessful searches, Autumn Wind casually grabbed a few pieces of clothing and stuffed them into her bag.
New Year's Eve in Taipei felt as if it had been hit by a typhoon; the streets were empty.
Everyone seemed to care about this holiday. Some chose to go out and play like Qiu Ruolan, while others "cat" at home preparing for the reunion dinner. Of course, many people chose to return to their hometowns in Southern, like Qiu Feng, which caused Taipei's population to drop by nearly half. However, this remaining half almost uniformly gathered at the city government for New Year's Eve celebrations.
On New Year's Eve, taxis were scarce in Taipei, but Autumn Wind was still lucky enough to catch one. Standing at Qiu Mowen's door, she did not knock but paused for a moment. The lingering unwillingness in her heart prompted her to unhesitatingly take out the key given to her by Qiu Ruolan from her bag and unlock the door.
Qiu Mowen was not home, and Autumn Wind felt a bit disappointed.
She raised her hand to turn on the light on the left side of the door, tossed her bag onto the sofa, and then slowly slid down to the edge of the sofa, feeling increasingly anxious. Qiu Mowen must have gone on a date.
Trembling, she took out her phone and called Qiu Mowen. "Hello, I'm at your place alone. When will you be back?"
There was silence on the other end, occasionally interrupted by the sound of a piano, as if someone had gotten up. A few seconds later, Qiu Mowen's voice came through, calm and natural, telling Autumn Wind, "I'm on a date right now."
Autumn Wind asked if it was with Lily. He did not answer, and then there was a beep from the phone.
Autumn Wind slid down from the sofa cushion. Qiu Mowen's voice was so calm it felt almost cold, contrasting sharply with the lively atmosphere outside. The wooden floor began to seep coldness.
Outside, the twinkling lights felt like a nearly desperate person squatting by the roadside, where faint car lights shone in the distance. Autumn Wind thought she had found light but realized it was merely reflections from a long dark corridor corner. This eerie atmosphere began to take shape, eventually pressing down like a black dragon.
However, Qiu Mowen did not return home all night. In the long dark night, Autumn Wind lay on Qiu Mowen's bed, staring at the changing light outside the window second by second without closing her eyes. She clearly witnessed the space covered in darkness being gradually pierced by light until it turned into a grayish-white scene of winter.
Finally, a voice clearly told Autumn Wind that between her and Qiu Ruolan, Qiu Mowen ultimately chose Qiu Ruolan.
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