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墨書 Inktalez
"Ah—mm..."
My leg stumbled, and I was pushed onto the bed, my mind in a haze.
What was happening?
My lips were being stirred wildly, and the person in front of me was breathing heavily.
The way he desperately sought me made me question if I was dreaming; otherwise, I would suspect I had eaten a green tongue ice cream.
That kind of ice cream, when taken out of the freezer, would have a thin layer of frost on its surface.
Once bitten, my lips would be stuck to the frost.
But if held for a while longer, it would soften to a point that sent tingles through my body.
The Q-shaped ice cream tangled with my lips.
Sweet, delicious, and tempting.
But I wasn't dreaming.
He was kissing me.
Was he out of his mind?
Just as I was about to push him away, I heard him mumble between kisses.
His words were unclear.
"...I'm sincere... trust me... I really want to share this with you..."
I froze mid-push.
He had just said we weren't close enough and wanted to get to know each other better.
So this was his way of preparing himself to accept sharing the same ice cream with me?
But wasn't this preparation too intimate?
Though it could indeed speed up our familiarity.
However, sharing one ice cream would mean our saliva would...
Thinking this way made sense.
I felt touched.
He sacrificed so much just so I could have some ice cream.
All to quickly accept the idea of our saliva mingling together.
So I stopped struggling.
I let him kiss me.
His kisses were intense.
I've had thin lips since childhood, and I'm not used to being kissed.
Before long, I started to cry.
He kissed me harder, his voice trembling as he said,
"I genuinely want... I can't help but want... I think about it all the time... I think about it like crazy..."
I couldn't take it anymore.
With tears in my eyes, I anxiously said,
"Then why don't you just take it out!"
Where was the ice cream hidden?
Where was the small fridge that I hadn't checked?
Then, without thinking, I glanced down.
Wait a minute, buddy?
Why aren't you getting the ice cream for me?
What does unbuckling your pants mean?
Hidden...
Hidden in your... area...
I couldn't even dare to think about it... Isn't it cold?
Gu Huai suddenly pressed his lips hard against mine.
I gasped and squeezed out big tears.
He abruptly stopped all his movements and looked at me apologetically.
His tone was flustered as he awkwardly wiped my tears away.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to bully you."
I was breathless from the kisses.
"It's fine, everything is for intimacy."
"Get a little closer and you can have some ice cream."
I tried to calm my racing heart.
"Then can I have it now?"
"No."
W? T? F?
Isn't this close enough?
What more do I need to do?
Do I have to do something even more intimate to get it?
Gu Huai's expression was restrained and composed.
"I... can't bring myself to."
"I don't want to do that with you right now..."
I was confused.
"Do what with me???"
"That..."
"What kind of 'that'???"
"Too cruel."
"???"
I didn't understand how having ice cream could be related to cruelty.
In the end, he wiped away the tears hanging on my eyelashes.
He said I was just too delicate.
I asked him, "Can I eat it like this?"
He shook his head.
"No, we really can't. We need to take it slow. You calm down, and I'll calm down too."
Calm down.
I can't calm down until I get that ice cream!
"I'm not calming down at all!"
I was so frustrated that I wanted to jump up.
Why is it so difficult to have an ice cream!
Gu Huai suddenly grabbed both of my arms, holding me tightly.
He stared into my eyes.
"Listen, Song An, I know you can't calm down."
He was panting heavily.
"Because I'm having a hard time... calming down too."
Then he looked away, lowering his head.
What?
Where was he looking?
Just as I was about to realize something, he murmured again.
"Song An, I really can't bear to."
Damn!
I knew it!
He finally spoke the truth!
He couldn't bear to let me eat it!
Then Gu Huai pulled me and directly pushed me into the bathroom, turned on the cold shower, and left, closing the door.
"Song An, calm down."
Calm down my ass!
Did he notice that I wanted to hit him right now?
He was quite clever.
But then he lowered his head.
Seeing himself.
I needed to calm down in a different... aspect.
A straight guy like me actually got kissed by Gu Huai...
What just happened?
After taking a cold shower in the bathroom for half an hour to cool off, I finally came out.
I saw Gu Huai tidying up the tissue balls by the bed. Did he just... I felt my face flush and quickly turned to climb onto the bed.
Lying on the bed scrolling through my phone, I stumbled upon a post from my favorite Study Blogger. He was posting emo captions in broad daylight.
"I really want to do something excessive to you, almost couldn't hold back. But your appearance makes me want to cherish you too much; I really can't bear it. I can only push you away again. I really like you. The serious kind."
Oh my. What a hopeless romantic.
Hold it together, man. Are you even studying? Who wants to see your emotional drama, seriously?
I shut my phone off in frustration. With no classes in the morning and feeling refreshed after a cold shower, I fell asleep on the bed.
Without air conditioning, I woke up halfway through feeling hot again. My body was sweaty and stuck to the sheets. I got dressed and climbed down from the bed.
No way, on such a hot day, I really wanted an ice cream. If he wouldn't give me any, I'd just go buy it myself. It's just a matter of braving the sun to get to the supermarket near the off-campus delivery station, right?
As I got out of bed, I saw Gu Huai coming out of the bathroom after his shower. I stuck out my tongue at him. "If you won't give me any, I'll just go eat it myself! Who needs yours!"
Suddenly, he rushed in front of me and grabbed me.
His expression was agitated.
"Are you going to eat someone else's?"
What has he been talking about with this "someone else" since last night?
Could it be that someone else I know also bought something to bring back?
I frowned and pouted.
"What do you care whose I eat? I'll tell you, with my connections, they'll give me whatever I want! Do you believe it? Who's like you? A stingy person!"
Gu Huai clearly panicked.
He grabbed my arms frantically.
"Don't... don't go eat someone else's, please, I really will give you some, just don't be anxious."
Am I not anxious?
Isn't it too hard to get even a bite?
I gritted my teeth in anger.
"I don't even care to eat yours!"
Then I suddenly felt that what he said was strange, and added a bit aggrievedly,
"Besides, if you think about it carefully, whether it's yours or someone else's,
"Why do I have to eat someone else's?
"Why can't I just eat my own?"
Gu Huai: "???"
He seemed stunned, as if his jaw had dropped in shock.
His pupils trembled.
"My own?"
Yes.
I was clearly going to buy something for myself to eat.
What is he talking about with his "someone else's"?
I raised my chin proudly and said,
"Someone else's is not as good as my own! My own is more delicious than someone else's! My own is sweeter than someone else's!"
The ice cream I worked hard for and traveled far to buy is the result of my own labor.
It definitely feels more rewarding to eat than others!
I raised an eyebrow.
"You can eat however you want! Lick however you want! Slurp however you..."
Gu Huai hurriedly covered my mouth with his large hand, preventing me from continuing.
He held my head, pressing it against his face.
His voice trembled.
"Don't mess around."
Then he suddenly whispered in my ear,
"Are you flexible?"
"Can you handle it?"
What is he talking about?
I was muffled by his hand, my voice unclear as I mumbled,
"I'm not messing around."
He rubbed my lips with his thumb, going over both the upper and lower lips.
"And your lips are very thin."
Duh!
Did he need to say that?
I've known that for twenty years.
Suddenly, his thumb and index finger slipped into my mouth, prying it open to measure.
"Your mouth is still very small."
I asked with my mouth held open,
"So?"
"So I can't bear it... I'm afraid your mouth... won't be able to handle it."
I know my mouth is small.
But my mouth isn't small enough to not be able to swallow a popsicle, right? That green bean popsicle isn't that long either.
"I can swallow it whole in one bite!" I shouted proudly.
"Especially if it's my own!" Hmph! It tastes better when I buy it myself!
Gu Huai looked panicked. "Song An, don't... don't do that. Did I upset you this morning?"
I covered my chest. I wasn't upset by him; my heart was hurt by him. I thought we were all in the same dormitory. Sharing a popsicle is normal. I didn't expect him to be so unwilling to share with me. He even said he couldn't bear to part with it.
What more is there to say since he admitted it? Our relationship is just like that. I got angry and bared my teeth at him.
"What do you care? I can eat whatever I want! If I want to eat my own, I'll eat my own! Eating a bite from you is so difficult; I won't do it now!
"I'll be self-reliant! I'll support myself! I'll be independent!"
Then I broke free from him and rushed out. All I could hear was him shouting from inside the door.
"Where are you going? Wait for me! I'll put on my shoes and pants!"
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