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墨書 Inktalez
Ke Li waited for Mi Liangbao in the park at the corner across from the school gate. He stepped out of a local specialty—an electric tricycle for passengers—and gazed at the school gate for a long time before turning back with a frown and asking, "Why are you back here?"
"This is my middle school alma mater."
"Is middle school really considered an alma mater?"
Mi Liangbao revealed half of his teeth and let out a snort through his nostrils. Today, he was dressed particularly formally. While he usually wore a T-shirt, khaki pants, and sneakers to work in Beijing, this shabby little county town deserved him in a suit and polished leather shoes. It was clear he made an effort to distinguish himself from the service staff by choosing a complete set of gray and white striped attire.
He had a certain compulsion for cleanliness. Ke Li sat on the marble platform built around the white poplar trees, and he wanted to sit next to her. Oddly, he pulled out a handkerchief from his left suit pocket, gave it a gentle flick, laid it on the table, and cautiously took a seat.
Ke Li pointed at his pocket. "I thought that was just a decorative piece that came with your jacket."
"No, I specifically picked it out at the counter. What do you think?"
"It doesn't really match; the color of the handkerchief is too flashy."
Ke Li's comment hurt his pride, causing his smile to fade as he pressed her about her faults. "Did you ever plan to introduce me to your parents?"
"We're not at that stage yet."
"What do you mean by 'that stage'? How long will it take to get there? We've been dating for almost a year now, and your parents don't even know I exist!"
"Mi Liangbao, why are you getting so worked up? I haven't even asked you why you lied to me."
Mi Liangbao was momentarily taken aback. "What did I lie to you about?"
"Are you really from Beijing?"
Like a dog with its tail on fire, Mi Liangbao jumped up. "What’s it to you? Is that question really important? So what if being a local from Beijing makes someone superior? I’m just realizing that you're quite materialistic. Do you only want to date or marry someone from Beijing?"
Ke Li propped one leg up, resting her arm above her knee, leaning slightly forward as she looked at Mi Liangbao. "We're both from this small county town; you're trying to intimidate me with your identity as a local from Beijing. Who's really insecure and materialistic here?"
Mi Liangbao's face turned red as if it might explode.
"If you had told me you were my fellow townsman earlier, we could have had more common topics to discuss. Was it necessary to lie? It's really pointless."
Ke Li stood up and walked to the roadside to wait for a taxi. The school was located on the outskirts of the county town, where traffic was sparse. She opened her ride-hailing app; the nearest taxi was five kilometers away. After placing an order, she was immediately snatched up by one of the drivers who messaged her saying he had to drop someone off first and would arrive in about ten minutes. There was nothing she could do but wait.
"I'm sorry."
Mi Liangbao's firm yet resentful apology genuinely amused Ke Li. She couldn't be bothered to turn around and looked ahead at the massive stone sculpture standing in the center of the roundabout—a Moral Sage. He had been there since her childhood, with many versions of him watching over people's behavior throughout the county: Did children offer their first bite of food to their mothers? Did they ever talk back to their fathers? Did young people marry and have children so their parents could enjoy family happiness? A wife should not be overly assertive! One should be willing to sacrifice; enduring hardship is a blessing! He was truly the spiritual pillar of everyone in the county, a moral model! Moreover, he represented the image that the county promoted outwardly!
Ke Li raised her head defiantly at him.
"Yes, I am insecure. I only dare to look others in the eye when I put on the skin of a Beijinger. I lied to you, I'm a jerk! I'm actually a local, just like you, having graduated from this school."
"I can tell."
"Aren't you going to ask me which graduating class I'm from?"
"The same class as me."
"How do you know?!"
"You asked first, so it must be related to me; it's likely the same class."
"You really are much smarter than I am."
"What exactly do you want to say?" Ke Li turned her head, looking at Mi LIangbao with impatience.
"There was a boy in our class named Luo Muye, do you remember him?"
Ke Li frowned and turned to face Mi LIangbao, signaling him to continue.
"He was poor, and the school organized a fundraising campaign for him among all the teachers and students. You contributed too, right? His dilapidated home was displayed like an exhibit, photographed from all angles and hung on a bulletin board for everyone to see. He went on stage to accept donations, bowing repeatedly, forcing a smile while crying. You all thought you were his benefactors because you donated money. He had to accept your judgment and approval for anything he bought; even eating a spicy strip was a crime. He had to wear second-hand clothes that didn't fit him; he had to meet all your stereotypes about him! If this is the necessary price for him to accept donations, then it's not charity at all—it's a naked and filthy transaction! He sold his dignity to you, allowing you to trample on it in exchange for just a bit of material resources needed to survive. He died in the second year of middle school; living on would have made no difference for him. He was destined not to attend high school, destined to remain in that home, relying on the meager income from farming to support his parents. Most of his life was predetermined to be shackled by them; is such a life better than death?"
Tears streamed down Mi LIangbao's face as Ke Li pulled out a tissue from her bag and handed it over.
"Did you know him?"
"Who in the school didn't know him? I just empathized with him."
"Specifically?"
Mi LIangbao wiped away his tears, took a deep breath, and exhaled slowly. "The inferiority of the poor is universal; because they have so little, they must create an illusion of having much more so that they won't be oppressed. Luo Muye unfortunately had his true family situation discovered by his homeroom teacher, who unilaterally applied for assistance from the school. I was luckier; no one noticed that my parents had both passed away. I didn't even have a home; I slept in a pigsty, kneeling in the trough fighting with pigs for leftover food. I disguised myself well enough to avoid being bullied and was fortunate enough to survive and reach where I am today."
Ke Li was shocked by Mi LIangbao's childhood experiences. "You..." She wanted to ask something but feared it might touch on painful memories.
Mi LIangbao smiled calmly, his eyes warm and stable, completely resembling her boyfriend from Beijing. "Some things I must keep confidential. What I can tell you is that both my parents died suddenly when I was very young; I didn't even wait for their funeral before my relatives divided up our house and belongings. Out of shame, they took me in, just like an old person waiting for death with many children around them—today at this house, tomorrow at that one; none of them felt like home. My uncle raised pigs, so I slept in the pigsty; my third uncle raised dogs, so I slept in the doghouse; my fourth aunt treated me well and laid down straw in the chicken coop so that I could sleep comfortably. Do you know how I got my meal money at school? My uncle gambled; when he won or lost was never counted. My third uncle raped his new wife; she wanted me to testify against him, so I told my third uncle, 'If you give me money, I'll pretend not to know anything.' And then there's my fourth aunt—her youngest son isn't my uncle's child. They are dirty; I'm even dirtier! This is how I've survived until now, telling you everything without hiding or concealing anything. Whether you find it disgusting or repulsive, I understand completely. I'm not a Beijinger; I'm just an orphan from the countryside without savings, property, or background. If you want to break up with me, I have no objections at all. I truly don't deserve you."
Ke Li remained silent as her fingers brushed over his suit jacket's lapel while Mi LIangbao seemed like a criminal awaiting sentencing, breathing tightly.
"Material life can be achieved through mutual effort, but you know what? The thing I hate most is being deceived by others. It's not enough just to be honest and expect forgiveness; I'm not obligated to understand why you lied. Whether or not I forgive you is secondary; I'm considering whether you're someone worth trusting."
Mi LIangbao grasped her sliding hand tightly. "Please give me another chance! I won't hurt you! I promise!"
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