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墨書 Inktalez
Kumarajiva's deep gaze resembled the faint light in the river of stars. He turned around, and in his calm eyes reflected the image of me, the sixteen-year-old warrior general.
"The north wind changes its tune, the eastern mountains lie high; do not fail the people," he said, gently stroking my head with his broad and sturdy palm, filling my heart with warmth and tranquility. It was only when his robe brushed past me that I suddenly realized the unfathomable inner strength of my master, a feeling that surprised and unsettled me.
He spoke in a deep voice, "In a single thought, you can become a Buddha; in a single thought, you can become a demon. Fan Tian, your master wishes you peace!"
That night, it seemed my master had much to discuss with me. He felt pained by my youth and the burdens of war and governance that I bore at such an age. He wanted to rescue me from the whirlpool of conflict.
But I had no other choice. Not just for my family, but for myself as well, as the last successor of the Fan Family, I would never concede defeat.
As I left the royal capital, I shed my youthful naivety; in my hands were responsibilities and missions. I could no longer recklessly ride alongside my master, indulging in idle conversations over wine and wandering freely across the world.
The bond I shared with my master was deeply buried in my heart—a sanctuary untouched by anyone else. I straightened my back, determination and resolve shining in my eyes, unafraid. My voice was calm yet powerful as I declared, "I, Fan Tian, share life and death with Kucha."
These words burned like a fierce fire within me. Our conversation came to an end; he would not abandon his ideals, nor would I relinquish my country.
Kumarajiva sighed deeply; that protective hand was about to reach out to me but paused mid-air. The warmth in his eyes was instantly replaced by seriousness as if he were contemplating how to handle this complex situation.
The next day, I was dispatched by the king to guard the border for three years, during which time I would not taste the roast goose prepared by my master again.
Once more it was a meal of plain rice; I felt compelled to protest to my master. I am Fan Tian, a descendant of Kucha and the Fan Family, now transformed into a British Shorthair cat under Master Kumarajiva's care.
I was particularly sleepy and needed to sleep for sixteen hours each day. The exhaustion from my previous life as a general had turned into leisure in this life. However, the food situation was quite distressing.
Today at noon, after returning home, Master locked himself in the Meditation Room. A flicker of sorrow crossed his eyes as he tightly held onto the Blood Letter—the last token I had left him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, savoring its lingering scent while his gaze shimmered with profound longing. After I left, Kucha and he would face an unknown fate.
"Fan Tian, your master truly misses you..." Kumarajiva paused in his thoughts; he knew this was something I would never know. He longed for me to return home for another meal of roast goose prepared by him—was it possible that I could never go back?
"Meow~" I crawled out from under Master's bed. He looked surprised for a moment upon seeing me; I wasn't worried about him scolding me since he was missing me right now. As an extremely filial cat, it wouldn't do if Master couldn't laugh heartily because of matters from my past life!
I found my duty and mission: to make my master smile joyfully every day.
I woke up at five in the morning to begin my grand plan.
I meowed in Master's bedroom to wake him up; this proud master turned over and fell back into deep sleep once more.
For a moment, I wondered how he could sleep later than me! With mischief in mind, I dashed to the door and nibbled on some cat food; after gaining some energy, I prepared to try again.
I stood dazed at the gate of the yard and let out a proud "meow." I needed to regain my self-discipline and pride. I am a cat skilled in Military Strategy. After several hours of fussing around, I had disrupted the sand table that my master had placed in the Meditation Room multiple times. Finally, at seven o'clock, I replicated the battle situation of the Battle of Yanmen on the sand table.
Breathing heavily, I looked at my results, constantly recalling the circumstances of that day in my mind. I thought that if the soldiers by my side had been a bit stronger, I wouldn't have failed so easily. Who would have thought that the enemy would place their main forces all at Yanmen? They relaxed their vigilance after Ghost Gate Slope.
But more importantly, just as I was lost in thought, a large hand embraced me from behind. His voice trembled and was hoarse, "Meow, did you do all this?" Since my master returned yesterday, he had remained silent. Seeing the dark circles under his eyes, I knew he couldn't sleep well.
I rubbed against his sleeve and he bent down to hold me in his arms. Proudly, I tapped my front paw against his chest to show my stance, reminiscent of my proud self in my past life. My master gently stroked my back, and there was a barely noticeable glimmer of tears in his eyes.
This sand table was never allowed to be used casually; even as a Holy Relic, I didn't have that privilege. In the entire Mountain Gate, only my past life Fan Tian could use it freely. Only Fan Tian knew how to arrange troops on the sand table without restraint.
My master's probing gaze fell on me before he playfully swatted my backside. "Meow meow, if you keep being so naughty, I'll spank you!" I proudly approached him, seeking his understanding of my current feelings; how could my rear be subjected to such treatment? I frantically gestured in front of him, and his eyes reflected my antics as he murmured softly, "Fan Tian?!"
It seemed that from his wise eyes, he saw a glimpse of my past life. He patted the top of my head; although he appeared calm, I knew his heart was tumultuous, just like mine. I meowed to him for some cat treats and fresh water. He teased me saying, "Fan Tian, my good Fan Tian, Master knows it's you. Can you talk to Master?"
His rough yet strong finger gently glided across my cheek, bringing a unique sensation. I squinted my eyes slightly, enjoying this warmth while pondering who my master really was to recognize me so quickly. Unsure of his feelings yet pretending to be obedient, I nibbled on a small fish treat in front of him. As I licked his finger and rubbed against his thigh with my body, I couldn't help but calculate how much he truly knew. To my surprise, he held me close again to soothe my gradually irritable temper and said, "You haven't changed at all."
"Meow!" I softly called out as I instinctively leaned against him, rubbing against his palm and feeling that familiar warmth and texture. My master lowered his head and sat quietly beside me; his rough fingers caressed my neck, gradually relaxing my tense nerves.
"Fan Tian, it's good that you're back!" I looked up with slightly squinted eyes. In my memory, Master Kumarajiva was stern and serious; however, when he was with me, his gaze touched the softness within me. I knew he treated me differently but still suppressed the fluttering feelings inside and attributed this special bond to familial affection. Yet now, seeing him hold my small Cat Body with an expression of helplessness and tears made my heart ache.
But what could I do? I nuzzled closer to him with affectionate "meows." As the Holy Cat of Kucha, I would use my Spirit Energy and the powers of the Saint King to help the people of Kucha through their tribulations.
I want to make my master a little happier, and I don't want him to be too sad about my past life. But I have no way to do that.
After sobbing, my master held me quietly in the Meditation Room. He calmed down, but there were many things he wanted to tell me.
"Fan Tian, I shouldn't have let you leave the capital! You're so young, only seventeen!"
I licked my paw and wiped my cheek. I glanced sideways at him as he caressed the fur on my back, expressing his heartfelt feelings again.
"Fan Tian, do you know that I recite scriptures and bless you every day? Every time the enemy approaches the border, I worry about you!"
"Do you know that every time I think of you and want to send you a letter, I'm afraid the enemy will capture the carrier pigeon and find your camp?"
"Do you know how happy and worried I am every time you win a battle? The Kucha army is already small; can you bear the pressure of leading them?"
"Fan Tian, Fan Tian, let me take a good look at you! Let me take a good look at you! Is that okay?" His tearful voice made me feel uncomfortable. I stretched my limbs and nestled into his embrace, rubbing my face against his chest.
"Master, don't be sad anymore. Fan Tian is home!"
In front of me, my master's figure was like a towering mountain—solid and reliable. He held me close, and his cool and steady breath washed over me like a gentle autumn breeze, easing the heat in my heart.
I, a cat who loves to eat meat! My heart raced as I felt each of his breaths.
My master's gaze was calm yet profound, as if it contained an indescribable charm. His broad and rough palm gently stroked my fur, bringing me a wonderful sense of comfort.
I rubbed against his large hand again and blinked at him, thinking that I've already expressed my feelings; he should show some affection for me too.
Master, you know Fan Tian loves braised pork, fatty meat, chicken legs, and roast goose.
My master gently stroked my back and smiled softly, "Fan Tian, would you like me to cook for you?"
He tied a red string around my ankle with a silver bell attached to it. This was not an ordinary bell; it was made from a piece of meteorite left by Nuwa when she repaired the sky using Five-Colored Stone.
During the quiet noon hours, my master sat in front of me enjoying his lunch. He chewed his rice slowly and attentively.
I reached out to gently stroke the sleeping white cat beside me. It felt very comfortable and peaceful. However, my master seemed to sense something; he raised his head with calm eyes filled with warmth and nostalgia. He saw my spirit sitting across from him.
My master enjoys tranquility, and so do I.
After lunch, my master challenged me to a game of chess.
He played with black pieces while I held white pieces in both hands. We were playing a game called "World Chess," where no piece could be discarded. My chess skills were taught by my master.
He said, "Fan Tian, whenever you're feeling anxious, play a game of chess with me!" I had been away from the capital for three years due to worries about border conflicts; although my skills were itching to be used, I couldn't find anyone to play with.
"Master, now that my chess skills are deepening, you might not necessarily win against me!" I made the first move to avoid being underestimated by him.
Although I only have one soul, I am a wise female warrior.
The chessboard was set up, with my master's black pieces representing Kucha, and my white pieces symbolizing Kucha's allies and enemies. My master knew that my single color of pieces represented two factions, and he almost tapped my head with his novice's stick.
But I am clever like that.
My master's mood brightened as he looked at the lunch I had devoured, the corners of his mouth lifting in a smile. "Not a bit has changed!"
I nodded and said with a smile, "Master's cooking is still so delicious!"
In delight, my master picked up a black piece and played it fiercely against my white piece. "With good moves in hand, I shall not hold back!" My master saw through the current situation of Kucha with one move.
I was deeply impressed, but I was not so easily defeated.
I matched my master move for move, going back and forth a hundred times, thoroughly enjoying the game.
My master stood up, picked up the Spirit Cat at my feet, and said to me, "Fan Tian, just go home!"
I smiled up at him; he is the great deity I admire in my heart, the god of Kucha, and my only faith.
That afternoon, Princess Ji An of Former Qin sent someone to invite my master to debate Buddhism, share vegetarian meals, admire the Buddha's light, and explore the Thousand Buddhas Cave.
Since Princess Ji An arrived in Kucha four years ago, she has been the most active figure in the Buddhist community. Everyone respects her for her enthusiastic promotion of the flourishing activities of Eastern Buddhism and the spread of Kucha Buddhism.
However, in her heart lies a single obsession: she wishes for my master Kumarajiva to leave her with a child.
My master usually keeps his distance from this princess, but due to the visit from the emissaries of Former Qin, their relationship became even closer.
When I learned that my master had gone to attend Princess Ji An's banquet half an hour after it started, I took a shortcut to reach the venue just as the princess was toasting him.
My master does not drink alcohol, but he enjoys sweet soup. The princess said, "Today we are fortunate to have everyone here; I have something unclear and hope Master Kumarajiva can enlighten me!"
This princess is not my master's disciple yet still sweetly calls him 'master.' The high monks present seemed to hope that my master would accept this princess as his esteemed student. The atmosphere was lively with clinking cups when I angrily ran into my master's robe.
Seeing me, my master smiled and said, "Fan Tian, I haven't drunk any alcohol!"
I naturally knew he wouldn't drink, but this princess did not seem like a good person.
Noticing my sulky expression, my master gently stroked my head to tease me while the princess tried her best to win him over without receiving any acknowledgment from him. She added some ingredients to his sweet soup and poured several cups down him forcefully.
It was then that I learned from intelligence stolen by my cat soldier about Princess Ji An's plan for tonight: a beauty trap!
I need to show this princess the power of my War God Cat.
After the banquet, Princess Ji An stayed behind with my master. According to tonight's plan, she intended to be alone with him after all the guests had left. My master is a highly respected monk, a man who remains unperturbed in the presence of women. I have never seen him lose his composure for any woman.
Tonight, the princess aimed to make my master act out of character. But such a thing would only happen if a red moon hung in the sky.
As I entered the inner hall through the window, I found my master standing by the desk, sweating profusely and holding his head in pain. The princess, dressed in a sheer garment, resembled how the King of Daughter Kingdom must have felt when he first saw Xuanzang alone, lying on a small bed. My master kept his head down, not daring to look at her.
"Brother, I've liked you for a long time. You know I only want your child!" I had set up various hidden traps in the princess's residence; as long as my master had the strength to leave with me, I would turn the entire princess's residence upside down!
Now that I am in Cat Body form, it is quite inconvenient, but I still found the antidote for my master hidden within the princess's secret chamber. The way this princess sweetly called "brother" made my head ache; my master closed his eyes and began reciting scriptures.
Tonight, the materials this princess prepared for my master were extremely potent. I must show my true skills to protect him. The atmosphere between these two lonely individuals made my scalp tingle. Just when I sensed something was off, the princess emerged from behind the sheer curtains, her enchanting figure resembling a Manjusaka flower from hell.
My master turned his face away, and the princess hid beneath him, playfully teasing him. My heart nearly leaped out of my chest. Master, you must hold yourself together! I can't let anyone take you away!
A moment later, my cat soldiers sprang into action! When I arrived at the princess's residence, I had set up ninety-six hidden traps throughout this large courtyard at various intersections. Since this princess dared to make a move against my master openly, I certainly wouldn't back down easily; he is my master's mentor.
However, what I didn't expect was that my master's medication was taking effect; he was restless and troubled by the drugs. This princess was relentless and wrapped her hands around his neck. My War God Cat had never witnessed such a beautiful woman's scheming before.
I felt stiff all over, my limbs numb and my mind in chaos as my heart raced. This is bad! I need to save my master quickly!
I hugged my master's thigh tightly, using my claws to give him a sharp pinch that jolted him awake.
Seeing the disturbance, the Princess picked up a stick and was about to hit me.
But I am the battle-hardened cat that inspires pity in others.
With a loud "meow," I scratched the Princess's face.
She crouched down in pain.
Not wanting to stop there, I summoned all my cat soldiers in a fit of anger.
One hundred cats of various breeds gathered in the courtyard of the residence.
Under my command, they split into twenty-four groups, leading the guards of the Princess's residence into the ambush I had set up.
Soon, the sounds of complaints filled the Princess's residence, with cries echoing everywhere.
This was what I wanted to see; those who bully me, the Holy Cat, should be prepared for the consequences.
I handed my master the antidote, and after he swallowed it, he sat cross-legged beside me.
Princess Ji An, looking disheveled, clung to my master's clothing and cried, "Brother, what’s wrong with liking you? I just want your child!"
My master meditated quietly, and when he opened his eyes again, they were clear and calm.
"Your Highness's affection is too much for me to bear! Please seek happiness elsewhere!" He picked me up and left through the main door. The Princess still looked pained; she tightly hugged his waist from behind.
I was taken aback; how bold are women from the East!
Master, you must not fall for this trick!
Princess Ji An sobbed while pouring out her heart. "Brother, don’t go! I know that once you leave tonight, there will be no chance for us again!"
She clung to my master with tears streaming down her face. My master furrowed his brow tightly, standing like an unyielding mountain, unmoved by the situation. But I knew that inside, his emotions were tumultuous; after all, this was a human woman's intimate touch.
After a moment, Princess Ji An was left only with quiet sobs but still held onto my master. At this point, he set me down.
His sudden withdrawal made me feel uneasy; however, I thought that he couldn't possibly care for this Princess. Yet such comfort still made my wounded heart race uncontrollably.
In this moment, I could only trust my master!
Humans are not made of wood! I calmed myself as a battle-hardened cat.
"Your Highness, Kumarajiva is not worth such devotion from you!" My master reached into his pocket and took out a handkerchief to offer to the Princess before speaking earnestly, "Tonight you have misdirected your affections, but I only wish to be a good teacher!"
Princess Ji An nodded and said, "I know that the Saint King cares for all living beings and will not let small feelings hinder your progress. However, as a teacher, you are also a good parent; I still hope to become the mother of your child."
My master hesitated for a moment just as the servants from the Princess's residence returned after being taught a lesson by my cat soldiers and reported back to her.
Seeing her servants with scratched faces made Princess Ji An weep again pitifully; however, no one dared disturb the Holy Cat or act disrespectfully towards it.
My master knew it was my doing; he sighed and picked me up to soothe my restless emotions while addressing the Princess seriously: "Since there are matters in your residence, I shall take my leave."
Seeing this, the Princess truly wanted to strike me hard.
But seeing my master now half-awake and half-asleep, fully aware of my actions yet still choosing to protect me, she could only swallow her anger.
Later, this matter reached the old king of Kucha, who sent word to the princess: "The cat is a Kucha Sacred Relic. Princess, due to the presence of the Saint King, has provoked the wrath of the Holy Cat. This is no small matter; please do not let it happen again and disturb the Kucha deities!"
When I learned of this, I was overjoyed; I would protect my master. I nuzzled against my master's palm and began to meow at him.
During our days in the temple, I sat in the deep courtyard while my master sat beside me, and at our feet lay the quiet white cat. Above us was the bright full moon.
My master, this familiar and resolute figure, calmly spoke of Kucha's battles and complex political affairs as if recounting a distant tale. His voice was like a gentle breeze, softly sweeping across the rice fields, creating ripples of golden waves. His expression was calm yet serious, as if in this moment of tranquility he connected with the past and shared in the distant Kucha.
I listened quietly to his narration, as if I could see the flames of war and the worries of the people on that land. Time, that merciless witness, does not regard past pains but only measures today’s fervor against a lifetime of aging.
Two years later, Former Qin launched an invasion to conquer Kucha; they aimed to take my master away. Knowing his mission was approaching, on the night before his departure, he made roast goose for me.
I didn’t eat but quietly watched him and asked, "Master, do you really have to go to the Eastern lands?"
His figure faded into the night as he nodded and said, "Fan Tian, this is your master's last meal for you before I leave!"
Is that so? My warrior cat would be abandoned by my master.
Early the next morning, my master boarded a carriage that left Kucha's borders; he was captured by Former Qin soldiers. The general of Former Qin recognized him as the Kucha Saint King and did not treat him with respect.
My master endured some hardships and curled up in bed at midnight. Later, he observed celestial signs and realized that their camp at the foot of a mountain would be hit by a flash flood; his judgment caught the attention of Former Qin's general. Afterward, new clothes and clean water were sent to his tent.
I woke up from a deep sleep to find myself under my master's bed. I called out to him with "meow meow meow!" He joyfully picked me up!
"Fan Tian, my little Fan Tian, you haven’t abandoned me! Your master will never leave you again!"
When my master saw me, he was both surprised and delighted but also worried that Former Qin soldiers might capture me. He hid me in his clothes, stroked my head gently, and kissed me repeatedly. For over a decade afterward, I accompanied my master on a long journey to spread Buddhism in the Eastern lands; Buddhism is boundless, and life is endless.
Time reached 2023—a challenging year... This is my third life in three reincarnations; now I am a human girl named Fan Xin. I wonder if my master will reincarnate like me. In my past life, I committed many sins; the Buddha did not save me, but only my master did not give up on me.
This year, I am an intern at an IT company and have not yet graduated; my job as an intern involves assisting seniors with their tasks. My responsibilities include completing project work as well as buying breakfast for managers, getting coffee, printing documents, and running errands.
I am considered quite unfortunate among our group of interns; despite all my efforts for the manager, I am still the first one he takes out his frustrations on.
I patiently dealt with everything at work just so I could stay with the company after my internship ended. After all, moving from a third-tier city to study in Beijing and ultimately staying there is currently my biggest wish.
The competition at the IT company is incredibly fierce, and once again, I was brought to tears by my explosive-tempered manager.
Standing alone in the rain under a gloomy sky, my clothes were soaked by the relentless downpour. Without an umbrella, I was accompanied only by the sound of the rain and the occasional honk of a car. The documents in my hands were drenched, the ink smudged; these were crucial materials I needed to bring back to the company. My manager had emphasized their importance, yet here I was, letting them suffer such a fate. I could almost envision myself being fired, filled with fear and anxiety. I blamed myself for not protecting these documents more carefully. Why hadn’t I foreseen this outcome?
In this cold rain, I experienced the frustration of life.
Just when I felt most helpless, a large umbrella appeared over my head. The person holding it had a handsome face and spoke with confidence; I recognized him as the top student among our group of interns.
“Hey, here’s my handkerchief; wipe off the rain!” he said, taking the soaked documents from my hands. Then he smiled at me and said, “I’ve noticed you for a while! Are you confident we can get through this internship together?”
His name is Mo Xin, a top student from A University who not only has perfect grades but also enjoys studying Buddhism and is a fan of Kumarajiva. I am Fan Xin, a senior finance major at A University. I have a British Shorthair cat named Fan Tian.
After that day, Mo Xin helped me tremendously, and I began to shed my burdens and join him in striving for excellence. By the end of our internship, both Mo Xin and I stayed on at the company.
On another drizzly day, I found myself without an umbrella again and hurriedly took shelter in a phone booth, feeling somewhat helpless as I watched the rain fall outside. Just then, a large umbrella appeared above me, like a clear sky enveloping me. “Fan Xin, what a coincidence! Let me walk you home!” came a familiar voice.
Mo Xin smiled as he held out a book titled "The Guide to Raising Cats." “By the way, besides loving meat, what else does your cat Fan Tian enjoy?”
I looked at him in surprise and replied with a smile, “Roast goose!”
Mo Xin rubbed his forehead in exasperation, suppressing some emotion as he asked, “She likes roast goose?”
I laughed happily and said, “No, I like it!”
Mo Xin gazed deeply into my eyes, warmth shining in his expression. He held my hand tightly, making me feel an unprecedented sense of security. “Fan Xin, I've been watching you for a long time. Will you be my girlfriend? I'll make roast goose for you!”
He lowered his head to look at me with a smile.
His question stirred something within me. I looked up into his sincere eyes and felt an inexplicable wave of emotion wash over me.
“Okay.” I nodded slightly, my voice trembling.
Mo Xin's smile became even brighter as he gently squeezed my hand, filling me with an unparalleled happiness.
At that moment, the sky suddenly opened up with heavy rain. Mo Xin quickly raised his umbrella and pulled me tightly into his embrace.
“Don’t worry; I'm here,” he whispered softly, his gentle breath providing comfort.
We nestled closely together as his broad hand held mine securely.
The next day, I had roast goose again. Mo Xin said, “Kumarajiva also liked to make roast goose for his female disciples!” I laughed and replied, “I’m your female disciple too!”
Mo Xin rubbed his determined chin against the top of my head and said, “For life.”
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