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墨書 Inktalez
I was below him, and he was above me. The harder I pushed, the deeper he sank, using my strength against me.
The despair, helplessness, and pain from not long ago attacked my mind again, as if time had reversed. The difference was that last time I wanted to protect the child; this time, I wanted to avoid having one.
Did I ask him?
It was useless; I had already tried that last time and only received more humiliation. It would be better to lie there obediently like a dead fish and buy medicine afterward.
Xiao Minxing had a cruel smile on his face: "It's not that easy. You must accept what I give you; otherwise, I'll make you take medicine until you die."
My heart felt like ashes as I looked at that demon-like face, and all I could manage was a bitter smile.
"Xiao Minxing, the doctor said I can't get pregnant for six months. If you force it, then go ahead. After all, you can take my life anytime; I no longer care."
He was relentless: "Did the doctor tell you that married women shouldn't go out drinking late at night? Did he tell you that drunk women shouldn't get into strange men's cars? Did he tell you the most basic principles for a woman, for a wife?"
With every word he spoke, he pushed harder, moving me from one side of the bed to the other.
His expression grew more dangerous and excited.
I had tried my best; I didn't want to see him anymore. I turned my head to the side and closed my eyes.
But suddenly, the vigorous thrusting stopped, and a warm, sticky substance sprayed onto my lower abdomen.
When I opened my eyes, I saw Xiao Minxing's back disappearing deep into the bathroom, the door slamming shut with a loud bang.
I got up from the bed as if caught in a strong wind, feeling flustered and helpless. Not bothering to find my clothes, I wrapped myself in his blanket and ran outside.
Once back in my room, I locked the door tightly before slipping into the bathroom.
From that day on, I returned to the life I had with Xiao Minxing a long time ago. Sometimes he wouldn't come home for a week or even longer, and when he did, he would leave early and return late.
The card I had held onto for a day was naturally taken back, and everything returned to square one.
Only I knew that this marriage had become utterly terrible, with no room for reconciliation. Staying here only made us more disgusted with each other.
I no longer talked to Xiao Minxing about divorce, but I found myself going to the bookstore more and more. Since reading inside didn't cost anything, I decided to read as much as possible.
I read all kinds of books, and sometimes if I found something interesting, I would spend half a day studying a children's comic.
When I got hungry, I would drive back to cook; when I was tired, I would return here to sleep. It was just that I no longer hid here wallowing in self-pity like before.
I had no idea what Xiao Minxing was busy with, nor did I care to know. We were like two strangers bound by a piece of paper called marriage.
Sometimes when I was with Mina, she would sigh endlessly: "Not long ago, it seemed like you two were getting along better. I thought you finally reached a happy ending, but it turns out things are even worse than before."
I bitterly replied, "When has there ever been any improvement? It's just different ways of being terrible."
She didn't argue: "You don't understand. Between couples, small arguments are nothing; what’s scary is the cold violence—when neither cares about the other. That's when there's really no hope."
"We're not having small fights. You know, I've read a lot about legal matters recently. With his behavior, if I had enough evidence to sue him, it could constitute a crime."
Mina looked at me seriously and asked, "Tell me the truth: if you had evidence, would you go ahead and sue him?"
The answer was obvious; even if I didn't say it, Mina knew.
She sighed and said, "You’re just tough on the outside but soft on the inside. That’s your Achilles' heel. You can't bring yourself to be harsh with him, but he won’t show mercy. If you provoke him with words, he retaliates with actions. He doesn’t say anything; he just acts. Meanwhile, you read more and talk more but end up accomplishing nothing and still feeling wronged."
I understand the reasoning, but my life still feels like a mess.
Perhaps it’s because everything started off wrong; I can only convince myself of that, but I don’t know when this mistake will end.
However, since we’ve been spending more time together, Mina has urged me again to go back to work.
In the past, when she suggested it, I always refused. Of course, this was directly related to the issue of whether I was truly pregnant or not. Regardless of the truth, in the eyes of the Xiao Family, I couldn’t go out to work; they couldn’t afford to lose face, and I would feel embarrassed as well.
But now, with nothing left, I feel light. Xiao Minxing doesn’t bother with me anymore. Most importantly, every time I go out with Mina, I’m spending her money, which makes me feel guilty. What normal person doesn’t have a little money on hand? No matter how much or how little, it should provide some sense of security.
After hearing her suggestions multiple times, I began to think in that direction.
Once a person has an idea, they consciously start moving toward it. When I went out next time, I paid attention to job advertisements at various hotels and even submitted some resumes online. After all, it had only been a little over half a year since I last worked, and I had quite a bit of work experience. The jobs I was looking for weren’t particularly high-end, so it didn’t take long to find one.
However, on my first day at work, driving a BMW completely stunned our manager. He looked at me strangely and asked, “Miss Qiu, are you joking? You’re driving such a nice car to do a job that pays only a few thousand a month?”
I awkwardly replied, “I don’t have a single cent on me; I can’t even afford bus fare. This car is borrowed from a friend.”
He looked at me oddly and said, “The fuel cost for this car in one day is enough for you to take the bus for a week. If you can borrow a car, you might as well borrow some money.”
That made sense. So aside from the first day, I parked the car far away and walked to work instead. After all, Xiao Minxing has a fuel card and parking card; he has plenty of money in there, so I didn’t need to save for him.
After starting work, I felt much more energetic because I had to put on a smile for others every day. The more I smiled, the better my mood became.
The inconvenient part about hotel work is that it involves shift rotations. When it’s time for night shifts, I have to leave home in the middle of the night.
Although I try not to care about it too much, I'm still afraid of being discovered by Xiao Minxing.
God really has eyes; whatever you fear, He sends it to you.
The first time I switched to the night shift, I ran into Xiao Minxing, and it wasn't at home, but at a hotel.
That day, after I had checked in a few people, I felt something strange, as if someone was staring at me. So I looked around.
Xiao Minxing was standing outside the hotel glass door, dressed in all black, his gaze electrifying and burning into me.
My mind went into a frenzy, and the only thing I could think of was to sit down and hide my head under the computer, pretending I didn't see him and didn't know him.
But soon I heard footsteps coming in.
I was too familiar with him; unless he deliberately lowered his voice or confused my senses, I could recognize his normal footsteps immediately.
I was sweating in my palms and wished I could crawl under the table.
"Are there any rooms available?" he asked.
My voice was choked, and it took me a while to put on a professional demeanor and ask, "Do you want a standard room or a suite, sir?"
"Two people staying; which one do you think is better?"
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