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墨書 Inktalez
I was anxious inside, but I didn't dare to drive fast, fearing I would miss his car.
When the car reached Haicheng District, I realized I had no idea where Lu Yishan lived, so I hurriedly called her.
As soon as she heard me asking for her address, she suspiciously asked, "What are you doing? Are you coming to my house?"
"I'm not looking for you; I'm looking for Xiao Minxing. He still hasn't come back, and I'm worried something happened to him. I've rushed over from home and haven't found him. I want to check near your house," I said, almost crying by the end.
But Lu Yishan responded nonchalantly, "Why don't you just call him? Maybe he just went out for drinks or dinner. He'll rush back after work; it seems he didn't even have time to eat before he sent me out..."
At this point, she seemed to recall her earlier frustration and abruptly said in an annoyed tone, "Just go look for him yourself and stop calling me. I want to sleep."
I didn't know if it was because I was too anxious about Xiao Minxing or if Lu Yishan didn't care about him as much as she appeared to. While we both heard about his disappearance, she could take it lightly, but I couldn't.
I sat in the car until my heart gradually calmed down before calling him.
Xiao Minxing quickly answered and asked, "Where are you?"
The weight in my heart lifted instantly, but I also felt incredibly wronged. After a long pause, I said, "I'm outside. Since you haven't come back yet, I came out to look for you."
He was silent for a moment before softly saying, "I'm back now; you should come back too. Drive carefully on the road."
After hanging up the phone, I realized everything in front of me was blurry. When I wiped my eyes, I found that the tears inside had already grown cold.
From that day on, our interactions underwent subtle changes—not because I intended them to happen, but it genuinely felt like something had begun to shift.
There were no grand joys or sorrows like before; Xiao Minxing wouldn't deliberately get close to me anymore, nor would he lash out at me in anger.
We lived like two elderly people under the same roof for decades—having little to say to each other. During the day, I would still go to the Studio while he went to work. Sometimes he would give me a ride; other times, I would drive him there and then return to the Studio myself. In the evening after work, I would go pick him up.
But everything proceeded silently; there wasn't even eye contact between us.
He always has a look of concern on his face, sometimes even furrowing his brows. Since I met Lu Yishan, although the plan can be considered a failure, I still worry about his condition.
However, this quiet state right now feels good to me, and I am reluctant to let it go.
I think Xiao Minxing is deliberately keeping his distance from me, probably because he knows about his own illness, which is why he stays away.
Nevertheless, although there has been no resolution regarding Xiao Minxing, Mina seems to have recovered quite a bit.
After she returned from her business trip, she invited me out to meet. We sat in a cold drink shop downstairs from her company, enjoying the cool decor inside while listening to the sound of wind chimes at the entrance.
Mina sighed deeply and said, "It seems others are right; only those who can't let go would fall in love and get married."
I looked at her for a while before asking, "Have you come to terms with it now?"
She glanced at herself and said, "What does it matter if I can't? Some things are destined not to be mine. No matter how hard I try, I won't get them. Instead of suffering, it's better to let go and live freely."
I also breathed a sigh of relief and said to her, "It's good that you can think this way. I feel that being single is better; I don't have to worry about anything or take care of anyone. Of course, I also don't have anyone controlling me—it's free and easy."
Mina leaned forward slightly, stared at me for a long time, and then asked, "Have you had something happen recently? You look like you've lost weight."
I touched my face with my hand and said, "Lost weight? I didn't notice. I feel like I've been eating more lately; I'm super hungry."
Mina didn't look away and continued to stare at me for a while before asking, "You and Xiao Zong are fine, right?"
When it comes to Xiao Minxing, I don't even know what to say.
I don't want to tell Mina about his illness—not because I don't trust her but because I simply don't know where to start. Besides, Xiao Minxing himself hasn't leaked a word about it outside; even the best friends should keep such secrets.
Yet I'm always afraid that being together won't maintain this peaceful life forever. People have feelings; they're not trees. So who knows what will happen next? It's hard to say when I'll provoke his anger again.
Moreover, he himself said that his illness is related to me. What if one day I touch on his breaking point? The consequences would be unimaginable.
Perhaps separation is truly the best option?
Living this way on purpose is actually exhausting. Not talking and not arguing is certainly a good thing, but since we live together and see each other every day, there are times when I want to say something to him. However, as soon as I see his expression, I automatically fall silent.
I feel oppressed and uncomfortable myself; Xiao Minxing must feel the same way because several times I've seen him open his mouth to speak, only to end up closing it tightly and quickly turning back to his room.
Strictly speaking, he hasn’t lost his anger; he’s just controlling it.
“Hey, hey, what are you thinking about? I just asked him a question, and you started zoning out?” Mina waved her hand in front of me and asked softly.
I looked at her and sincerely said, “I want to divorce him and leave Xiao Family, but I don’t want to go to court. So what do you think I should do if he doesn’t agree?”
Mina immediately asked, “Has he abused you again?”
“It’s not that; I just don’t want to be with him anymore.” I turned my gaze away and looked out the window.
God knows how much courage it took for me to say such things. Xiao Minxing was the reason I held on for so many years, and now I have to actively give him up. Just thinking about it makes my heart feel like it’s being pierced.
Mina wouldn’t let it go and stared at me, saying, “This doesn’t make sense. It seems like you two are getting along better than before. He hasn’t abused you again, so why do you have to leave? Maybe if you hold on a little longer, the clouds will clear up. Xiao Zong isn’t a heartless person; he just might not want you to know some things.”
I closed my eyes and swallowed my bitterness, deliberately putting aside Mina’s evaluation of him and said, “I don’t want to think about that right now. I just want to find the best and quickest way to leave him without making him angry—an amicable separation.”
Mina looked at me seriously and asked, “What’s really going on? Have you fallen in love with someone else? But that doesn’t seem like you; you’re not the type to be easily swayed. Besides, if you really did fall for someone else, why would you care if he gets angry?”
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