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墨書 Inktalez
Things that need to be known will eventually be known, no matter how long it takes.
The doorbell rang, and Anna got up, but accidentally knocked over a glass on the coffee table. The shards cut her finger, causing sharp pain, and blood immediately oozed out.
"Just a moment," Anna said as she grabbed a tissue and wrapped it around her wound haphazardly, intending to go open the door. At the same time, her phone chimed with a text message. She glanced at it; it was from an unknown number.
When she opened the door, Han Yoon-soo stood outside, holding various health foods as usual.
Anna found it strange why Park Anqing's death made Park Chan-yeol dislike her so much, yet Han Yoon-soo continued to treat her just as kindly as before.
She had asked Han Yoon-soo about it, but all she said was that she believed in Anna's character. That was all; there were no further explanations.
"You've come," Anna said as she stepped aside. "Be careful; I accidentally broke a glass. Let me clean it up first."
"Your hand is injured?" Han Yoon-soo said with concern as she set down what she was carrying. "Don't move; let me check the wound."
Anna smiled and replied, "It's nothing, just a small cut. A band-aid will fix it." As she spoke, she went to the drawer to get a band-aid and applied it to her wound. Han Yoon-soo frowned slightly and sighed.
"Even though it's a small wound, you still need to take good care of yourself. Otherwise, it will be too late when something serious happens," Han Yoon-soo said.
"Hey, what could possibly happen? I'm quite resilient; this little injury won't bring me down."
Han Yoon-soo chuckled lightly and began opening the food containers. "Today I made grilled wild eel; it's best eaten in winter. I prepared both spicy and non-spicy options since I wasn't sure which you prefer."
"Thank you," Anna said with a smile. "I'll heat up some rice from the fridge and make two bowls of egg soup for us to share."
"Okay, I'll help you," Han Yoon-soo replied.
"No need," Anna declined, "I've always eaten what you made, so let me handle it this time. I can manage Simple meals."
Han Yoon-soo smiled and nodded, "Alright then, I'll wait here for you. If you can't handle it, remember to call me."
"Okay." Anna said as she turned and entered the kitchen, tying on an apron. She first placed the rice in the microwave, then took out eggs and green onions to prepare egg drop soup.
Although it was a Simple meal, Anna still gathered her thoughts before starting. Following the online instructions step by step, she waited for the water to boil before adding the beaten eggs.
As things quieted down and boredom set in, she remembered a text message she hadn't checked. Switching the spoon to one hand, Anna pulled her phone from her pocket with her other hand.
The water in the pot continued to simmer quietly, only the faint bubbling sound could be heard. After reading the message, Anna's mind was instantly engulfed in blankness; her hands lost their grip, and both her phone and spoon fell heavily to the floor.
Everything happened so suddenly, yet there were signs leading up to it. However, this suddenly revealed secret felt like a dagger piercing Anna deeply, leaving her with no way to fight back.
"What happened?" Hearing the strange noise, Han Yoon-soo quickly set down what she was holding and rushed over. Seeing Anna's dazed expression along with the scattered phone and spoon on the floor, she assumed Anna had burned herself and hurriedly approached to check, "What’s wrong? Did you burn yourself? Where?"
Anna stared blankly at Han Yoon-soo.
Confirming that Anna was not injured, Han Yoon-soo quickly turned off the gas, picked up Anna's phone and spoon, and placed them on a nearby table.
"Let's go; there's no need to continue cooking. Come take a break," Han Yoon-soo said as she pulled Anna towards the living room.
Anna followed dazedly but couldn't help but scrutinize the woman in front of her.
Han Yoon-soo had Anna sit on the sofa and once again confirmed that Anna was unhurt before finally feeling relieved. "How can you be so careless? You're grown up now; you must take care of yourself."
"Mom..." Anna murmured, her expression vacant.
Han Yoon-soo abruptly stopped all her movements. She didn't know that she was trembling visibly; avoiding Anna's gaze, she awkwardly smiled and said, "I'm really happy that you can see me as a mother. In the future..."
"You are my mom, right?" Anna spoke again.
"I'm not!" Han Yoon-soo suddenly turned her head and said, "I'm not. Anna, stop thinking wildly. Your biological mother has been missing for so many years; she must be dead."
"Mom..." Anna did not cry. This secret, buried for over twenty years, was suddenly exposed in such a raw manner. The woman who abandoned her at birth had been hated, resented, and deeply missed over the years. How curious she was about her mother's appearance—did she have long hair or short? Was she fat or thin? Was her skin fair? How did she smile? And what kind of feelings did she have when she left? What kind of determination did it take to abandon her child?
At this moment, Anna confirmed who she was and prepared to ask the questions that had haunted her for years.
"Is it you, Mom...? Mom, is it?" Anna grasped Han Yoon-soo's arm, pleadingly inquiring.
Han Yoon-soo's defenses began to crumble with each call.
"If it's really you, Mom, please tell me the truth. Don't lie to me again. I won't ask you again; if you say no, then it will never be yes." Anna said.
"Anna..." Han Yoon-soo cried as she slowly knelt on the ground. She never expected this matter would be uncovered so quickly, but she knew that if she didn't admit it now, she and Anna would become strangers forever. She held Anna's hand and said, "I'm sorry... Anna, my daughter... I'm sorry."
Having finally received the answer she sought, Anna felt as if a weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She looked at the woman before her, filled with guilt and unable to lift her head—the woman she had convinced herself was dead—now reappeared in all her elegance and beauty. No wonder she had treated Anna so well; no wonder she believed in her unconditionally; no wonder...
Everything has its reasons; all the good received today was because of the terrible bad experienced before.
"I know you hate me and resent me, Anna. I'm sorry. I couldn't bear it; I would rather you believe your mother is dead than see you hate me. I never thought... I truly never thought you would find out so quickly. Everything seemed fine; no one should have known—why did you find out... I'm sorry, Anna; I'm sorry for everything. I regret it; no matter the reason, abandoning my own flesh and blood makes me less than an animal... I'm sorry..." Han Yoon-soo cried, tears streaming down her face as her carefully applied makeup faded away. For the first time, Anna noticed that she had begun to show signs of aging.
"Mom, I've already called you that. Since you've admitted it, I just want to ask you one thing." Anna stared intently at Han Yoon-soo's shocked and sorrowful face. "What was the reason for abandoning me and Andy?"
Han Yoon-soo wiped away her tears, but soon more flowed uncontrollably down her face.
A long-buried past was about to be revealed.
"I... married your father out of necessity... When I was in school, your father pursued me, but I was dating someone else at that time. Later, a month before graduation, I broke up with my boyfriend and was feeling down. I went out drinking with some friends, including your father. I got drunk and don’t remember what happened that night; he ended up taking me home—not to my house but to a hotel... I was so drunk that I didn’t know anything. The next morning when I saw myself in such a state, I was terrified. He said he would take responsibility, but all I felt for him was hatred. What else could there be but hatred when someone you don't love takes your body?"
Anna remained silent, unable to comprehend that her father was such a dirty and vile person. Perhaps she had been too naive all along; she had always thought that her father's daily drinking was a sign of his devotion due to her mother's departure. So even though he neglected both Anna and Andy, she had never held it against him. Now it seemed that only narrow-minded people would focus solely on their own feelings, both in the past and in the future.
"He continued to pursue me relentlessly, and I was utterly disgusted... But then, I found out I was pregnant with his child... When my gambling father learned about this, he confronted your father. In the end, my father decided to marry me off to him for the price of a house. I thought about dying, but the child in my belly was innocent. I considered getting an abortion, but ultimately dismissed that idea. However, I vowed that no matter what, I would never let that man touch me again. If he laid a finger on me once more, I would surely die. So during my pregnancy, we lived apart. After you were born, I named you Anna and Andy because those names felt more like individual names. I didn't want anyone to associate you with that man’s surname. After your birth, I knew my time was limited. He wanted to get close to me again, and after rejecting him several times, he became furious and beat me. I wanted to take you away, but at that time, I had no means to raise you..."
Anna let out a cold laugh. "But you never came looking for us afterward."
"Because I was afraid... I was afraid... I knew you would hate me, so I couldn't bear it..."
"Hah... afraid... then please continue to be afraid from now on."
"Anna..."
"To put it bluntly, everyone is selfish. You left us for your own sake. We wanted you around because we needed a mother. You wouldn't understand what it's like for a child just over ten years old to secretly do odd jobs to earn enough for half a year's tuition. You wouldn't understand how two kids who know nothing hope for their father's good mood today so he won't come home and take out his anger on us. You also wouldn't understand the feeling of having only one pair of shoes throughout the year and having to awkwardly patch them up while being ridiculed by others... Do you know why when Jang Bo-Yeon told me she was pregnant, Chan-yeol and I were so resolute about separating? Because we understood what it meant to grow up in a family filled with hatred and resentment due to the absence of parental love."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry Anna... I'm truly sorry."
"But I don't blame you. Similarly, I will not acknowledge you as my mother in the future; you don't need to come back anymore. My mother has already died. Those few calls of 'Mom' earlier were just to confirm and ask why you could be so heartless as to disappear for so many years. Now that I've asked, you've made your reasons clear, so I don't hold it against you."
Anna stood up and pulled her hand away from Han Yoon-soo's grasp.
"All the pain I've endured since childhood has been borne by myself, just as I can handle this cut from the glass perfectly well on my own. You should leave; we are already on different paths living vastly different lives. I know everyone has their own struggles, so there's no need for us to meet again and make things difficult for each other." Anna said as she slowly walked toward the door.
"Anna, I know what I owe you both; the sins I've committed can never be repaid in this lifetime. Please, I'm begging you not to do this; all I want is to try my best to make amends for my offenses."
"The lost time and wasted years cannot be compensated by anyone, just like how my father's death cannot repay those sins..." Anna paused for a moment and sighed deeply. "What if you had taken us away back then? What would have happened? Perhaps you would have been disheveled every day doing the hardest work to support us or married that wealthy Mr. Park Anqing while taking us along... Regardless of how it turned out, thank you for deciding to give birth to us; I'll remember this kindness. Ultimately, we owe you instead, so please don't feel guilty anymore. But forgive me; right now, I'm unable to respond with gratitude for your mercy back then. Maybe in the future, when I've fully understood and let go of all these experiences over the years, I'll call you 'Mom' again. Right now, you are Park Chan-yeol's 'mother.' Hah, how ironic; it seems we are destined never to find our way back."
"Anna, this has nothing to do with Chan-yeol. He doesn't know about our relationship; I've only mentioned it to Anqing, and after hearing it, he only wanted to protect you."
"No need for that anymore." Anna raised her hand and opened the door, turning her back on Han Yoon-soo. "You should leave quickly before things get worse here. There's no need for us to meet again."
Han Yoon-soo had never felt such sadness before, a sadness mixed with shame, guilt, and regret. After years of accumulated emotions, the only outlet was a few small tears. Just after leaving the room, Anna closed the door, the heavy sound echoing in the staircase and hallway, shattering the suppressed feelings between the two.
"You and Park Chan-yeol are destined for a bad ending; I’ll be waiting to see that day come!" Andy's words finally came true. As clever as he was, perhaps he had known this secret all along, which is why he made such a prediction.
"Mom," a word that had disappeared from her life for over twenty years, suddenly appeared before her, and it was particularly striking because it came just when Han Yoon-soo was nearby, leaving Anna unable to react at all.
Anna was not a saint, nor was she kind enough to forgive everything like the heroines in television dramas. In her heart, besides shock and confusion, there was also longing and more—resentment towards the mother who had been absent from her life.
During this time, the more Han Yoon-soo treated Anna well, the more a voice echoed in her mind: if their mother had been around all these years, they wouldn’t have suffered so much, and Andy wouldn’t have turned out like this. Thus, she pondered and questioned herself, getting trapped in a corner from which she could not escape, creating a vicious cycle.
Maternal love may indeed be great, but Anna had never experienced it.
Paternal love may indeed be heavy as a mountain; however, Anna had never seen it either.
Before today, Anna had never thought her life was miserable because many harsh realities were hidden deep within; she didn’t have to look at them or even remember to look. Now that she saw those ugly and filthy truths, when she heard Han Yoon-soo recount past events, a wave of nausea washed over her. She had never blamed her father before, even though he drank excessively, hit people, and did not support her or Andy. However, Anna always thought that was a kind of deep affection rebounding after being hurt. But now that she knew that her and Andy's births carried so many painful memories, if Han Yoon-soo's departure was the source of their suffering, then where did Han Yoon-soo's pain originate?
No matter how painful it was, she still brought their two lives into this world.
"We are kindred spirits! Sister, we are the same! Two dirty souls!" Andy's words once again caused Anna immense pain.
Did Andy know something all along? That’s why he seemed so certain.
All the roots of misfortune had been planted many years ago, waiting for time to pass and nurture them until they took root and spread.
See? Just as previously stated, everything has its reasons and origins. No matter how absurd the final truth may be, we must accept it.
The judge of time will not spare anyone who rushes through the river of life; even if fleeting like a galloping horse or small as an ant. Yet it sees clearly and is impartial; when judgment day arrives, it will account for all deeds against those who deserve it.
"Since I was little, I’ve longed to eat my mother’s cooking; now I really have tasted it... Andy, do you know? Our mom has come back..." Anna murmured to herself.
Sitting dazed on the sofa, Anna noticed that it had started to snow outside again, though she couldn't tell when. This year's snowfall was less frequent than in previous years, but each flurry was heavy, with snowflakes drifting down like goose feathers. There was nothing beautiful about it.
The snow that fell in the middle of the road was quickly crushed into a black mush by passing cars. The snow that drifted elsewhere accumulated into thick layers, blocking people's views and causing a sense of restlessness.
It no longer mattered who had sent that text message; Anna couldn't even remember to look at the words again. She felt increasingly powerless, swept away by this torrent, forced to follow its momentum—either tossed into the air or plunged off a cliff.
Han Yoon-soo had left, and the room fell silent for a long time. The heating was sufficient for this time of year, and despite the heavy snowfall outside, the room felt warm. Yet Anna's hands remained cold, warmth failing to penetrate.
As the sky gradually darkened, it was only around three or four in the afternoon. The days were shorter, but thankfully there was plenty of snow, which kept it from feeling too dark—even at night.
"Hogga, I want to see Andy. I want to talk to him," Anna said as she called Hogga.
Hogga seemed to hesitate for a moment before responding affirmatively to Anna's request as usual.
"Okay," Hogga said. "Stay home; I'll be there soon."
"Alright."
Despite the difficult conditions due to the snow, Hogga arrived at Anna's place as quickly as possible, with snow still clinging to his shoulders when he entered.
"You could have just told me how to contact him instead of coming all this way," Anna remarked.
Hogga smiled lightly. "It's fine; since it's snowing, I wanted to see you anyway."
Anna bitterly lifted the corners of her mouth but said nothing.
"I gave you his contact information. If your dear brother says something that moves you, I believe you'll bring him back to Korea. That would be troublesome for everyone, and I can't take that risk," Hogga said as he sat down on the sofa and pulled out his phone to dial a number.
"Is it troublesome for you too?" Anna asked.
Hogga nodded and said, "I guess so, but it's definitely not as troublesome as yours."
Anna was at a loss for words, feeling the weight of the conversation.
Hogga took out a laptop and opened a video chat application. At first, the screen was blank, and Hogga seemed to be typing in a text box, communicating with someone. The language was neither Korean nor English; it appeared to be Italian, which Anna couldn't understand at all.
After a while, a figure flickered on the screen, followed by some static noise, and then Andy's face appeared.
"Alright, you can talk to him now," Hogga said, relaxing against the back of the sofa.
It had been a long time since Anna had seen Andy. He looked somewhat haggard, with stubble on his chin and having lost some weight.
"Andy..." Anna tried to call out.
His previously vacant eyes suddenly seemed to regain some light. Andy slowly lifted his drooping eyelids and upon seeing Anna, he appeared somewhat pleased at first, but that emotion quickly shifted to anger and resentment.
Andy smirked coldly, "Well, if it isn't my dear sister?"
"Andy... are you okay over there...?"
"Thanks to you, I'm not dead. But looking at you, I assume you've encountered something good in Korea, right?" Andy said with a smug smile.
"Andy, did you already know that our mother is not dead and that she is... his stepmother?" Anna asked.
"Hmph, I warned you long ago; it was you who refused to listen to me."
"Why didn't you just say it directly?"
"Because in my heart, she is already dead!"
"Andy, can you come back now? Can we live like we used to, happily together?" Anna said almost pleadingly to Andy. She was willing to overlook everything from the past, hoping that Andy could let go of it all. As long as her loved ones were by her side, that was enough.
Andy’s gaze wavered slightly; he lowered his head and let out a couple of laughs.
"What are you laughing at? Andy, I'm serious. Even without an expensive house, without a luxury car, without a lot of money, can't we just live together as a simple family like before?"
Andy’s smile abruptly vanished. He raised his head and stared at Anna. "A simple life? Living in that old, rundown little house? Working for a meager salary while watching Boss Lady's face? I don’t want that. I refuse to live like that. I must reclaim everything I’ve lost. I won’t be a failure. Dear sister, you’ve betrayed me so many times; do you think I would still trust you? Am I a fool? The reason I've ended up like this is largely because of you."
"Andy, why is it that even now you still haven't thought about how many wrong things you've done, how many immoral actions you've taken?" Anna felt incredulous at Andy's lack of remorse. Today had brought significant upheaval; their mother, who had disappeared for over twenty years, suddenly appeared before them. Yet Anna felt no warmth towards her, not even the familiarity she once felt when she thought of her as a stranger. Her closest kin after all these years was this brother who now hated himself deeply. What a helpless reality.
"I don’t want to think about it. From childhood to now, I've faced so many disdainful looks and contempt from others, having so much forcibly taken from me... Conscience? Ha, that's long gone. Even if it existed, no one can see it. Only by having everything will others envy and look up to you."
Anna sighed helplessly and shook her head. "Forget it; I think I was wrong today. This conversation was unnecessary."
"Anna Zheng, your life will be even more miserable than mine. We are family; we are the same. I’ll just wait for that day to come..."
Anna frowned as she looked at the nearly deranged face on the screen. She stood up and walked to the bathroom, quickly splashing cold water on her face. Meanwhile, Hogga smiled and turned off the video.
Anna leaned against the sink, her face drenched in cold water. She finally began to wake up a bit; she had been dreaming too much. Whether it was Park Chan-yeol or Zheng Andy or any other matters, she had been sketching those images according to her ideals, unaware that dreams are always just dreams—stories unfolding according to one's own consciousness. The truth is often cruel; beasts cannot be tamed by beauty but will instead treat her as a feast, devouring her completely until nothing remains.
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