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Living Funeral
At that moment, a wave of despair washed over me. Was I really going to die like this? Images flooded my mind—Daoist figures, Zhang Xun, the red-clad ghost, Gao Ling, and many others...
Yet among all these fleeting figures, my gaze finally settled on one person.
I stared at the unfamiliar yet familiar face. This was the first time I had seen him, but he felt strangely known. He looked at me with a calm expression, yet it stirred something deep within me.
I asked, "Who are you?"
Time seemed to freeze in that moment. He stood before me, neither sad nor happy. Finally, he sighed and said to me, "Don't worry; I will save you."
As soon as those words fell, his figure immediately dissipated from my mind. At that moment, a gust of wind suddenly swept in from outside, and someone quickly grabbed my hand.
"Chen Lang, it's me. Are you alright?" I looked at the suddenly appearing red-clad ghost, momentarily stunned.
The Daoist appeared as well and shouted at me, "Chen Fei, prepare to break the yin and yang with blood."
The brat probably didn't expect two people to appear so abruptly. After a brief pause, he yelled, "Who are you? Are you trying to ruin my plans?"
The Daoist quickly took action. A talisman was drawn in the air with a swift motion; it wasn't physical but rather ethereal.
The glowing Yellow Talisman flew toward the brat. However, the brat was not so easily dealt with.
He tore the talisman apart effortlessly. The Daoist's expression changed, but he didn't hesitate. His hands swiftly formed a seal while his lips murmured something inaudible. However, I clearly heard the last two words: "Mount Tai." As those words fell, the Daoist's seal landed on the brat.
The brat's soul was nearly scattered under the pressure as he shouted, "Damn Daoist! Why are you meddling in my affairs?"
The Daoist snorted coldly and quickly struck again. Although he could inflict damage on the brat, it seemed he had not sustained any substantial harm. This was likely because the Daoist was also a ghost; otherwise, with his skills, eliminating the brat would not have been difficult.
For now, however, the Daoist managed to suppress the brat until my soul returned to my body.
At this point, the red-clad ghost was on the verge of tears as she remorsefully said, "Chen Lang, I'm sorry! I made you suffer. I don't know what happened earlier; suddenly I couldn't sense your presence."
Seeing her looking so pitiful and filled with guilt made me feel for her. I reassured her, "It's alright; I'm fine now. That ghost is quite eerie; it's not your fault."
The woman in the red dress looked at me as I reached out to touch her hair.
At that moment, the Taoist priest was pushed back a few steps by Brat, his soul form appearing somewhat unstable. He turned to me and said, “Chen Fei, can you two not get cozy right now? You need to listen to me.” His voice was a bit urgent, and both the woman in red and I felt a bit awkward.
However, I didn’t dare to lose focus. I replied to the Taoist, “I’m listening.”
The Taoist continued, saying that this ghost was quite troublesome. With my current abilities, I wouldn’t be able to eliminate it, so I needed your help.
I nodded but didn’t say anything.
The Taoist went on, “A bowl of Glutinous Rice Water, a handful of Quicklime, and a Peach Wood Sword. Go find them quickly.”
I acknowledged him and headed for the door.
But Brat suddenly rushed in front of me, blocking my way. He sneered at me and said, “Chen Fei, do you really think you have a chance?”
His gaze was cold, and before I could react, he lunged at me with his teeth bared.
The woman in red stepped directly in front of me. His bite landed on her thigh, and she let out a scream. Seeing her injured made me realize just how limited my ghost-catching skills were.
The words Decree burst forth from my mouth, pushing Brat back. The woman in red said to me, “Chen Lang, just do what the master says; don’t worry about me.”
At that moment, the Taoist began chanting spells. Finally, he shouted, “Right hand binds the seven souls, left hand binds the three spirits; with the Decree of the Maoshan Ancestor, banish evil and protect the way.” As soon as he finished speaking, Brat let out another scream of anguish. He angrily cursed, “You filthy Taoist! I have no enmity with you; why are you opposing me?”
Brat was now in a desperate situation. Seizing this opportunity, I dashed out of the room.
Gao Ling was still oblivious to what was happening as he played games in his room. I knocked on the door and entered; Gao Ling was only wearing shorts and was engrossed in his game.
Seeing me come in, he exclaimed, “Fei! Come over here and see what kind of idiot I’ve run into!”
I had no time for that! Frantically, I told Gao Ling, “There’s a ghost in my room! Hurry up and prepare some things: Quicklime, Glutinous Rice Water, and a Peach Wood Sword. Do we have any at home?”
Gao Ling replied that we had both Glutinous Rice Water and a Peach Wood Sword, but no Quicklime. I urgently asked him where we could find some.
Gao Ling noticed my troubled expression and became anxious. "Is that ghost coming after you?" I confirmed it was. Gao Ling cursed under his breath, saying he would help me right away. I urged him not to complicate things and to find Quicklime quickly. "I can't find any!" he replied. I said urgently, "Can you think of something?"
After a moment of thought, Gao Ling said, "I'll call Zhao Fan and ask." I insisted he hurry, and he went off to prepare Glutinous Rice Water.
Gao Ling quickly dialed Zhao Fan.
I prepared the Glutinous Rice Water and the Peach Wood Sword, and soon Gao Ling emerged from his room. "Fei, Zhao Fan will arrive in fifteen minutes."
Although I was anxious, there was nothing I could do without the Quicklime.
Gao Ling wanted to enter the house with me. I glanced at him and asked, "Are you sure you can handle this?" He cursed in response, "Fei, whether I can or not, I'm going in!"
Seeing his determination, I didn't argue further, and we quickly entered together. However, we soon discovered that Brat was trying to burrow into the Spirit Tablet.
Gao Ling saw this too and shouted angrily, "You bastard! You actually followed us from Coffin Street to harm my brother!"
The Taoist called out to me, "Have you got everything?"
Gao Ling could see the ghost but also noticed the Taoist and the woman in red. I replied, "We're missing Quicklime powder." Upon hearing this, Gao Ling urged, "Fei, stop wasting time talking to that ghost; just take action."
The Taoist instructed me, "It doesn't matter; listen to me. Pour the Glutinous Rice Water on the Spirit Tablet. If there's no lime powder, use a boy's urine."
His sudden suggestion caught me off guard.
I had already been involved with the woman in red, and it wasn't about being a virgin but about having a child—where was I supposed to find a child now?
Panicking, I exclaimed, "Where am I supposed to find boy's urine right now?"
The Taoist replied that a virgin would do as well.
Gao Ling heard me talking to myself and asked where we could find such urine. I quickly responded, "If there's no boy's urine, a virgin will work."
Gao Ling laughed immediately and said, "Well then, you fit the bill perfectly."
I actually couldn't define whether I was or not, so just to be safe, I said I wasn't. Gao Ling immediately cursed, "Damn it." Then he added, "You're not, but I am!"
I looked at Gao Ling in surprise and said, "Damn it, stop joking around! What time do you think it is?"
Gao Ling replied, "Fly, I'm serious."
I stared at Gao Ling, who looked incredibly serious. It didn't seem like he was lying. However, considering that he had taken me to bars and other places before, it was surprising to learn that this guy was still a virgin!
After snapping back to reality, I said to Gao Ling, "Since you are, what are you waiting for? Hurry up!"
Gao Ling understood my meaning and said, "Then wait a moment."
I nodded. The Taoist priest urged me to pour the Glutinous Rice Water quickly. At that moment, he and the ghost were locked in a standoff. The ghost saw me about to pour the Glutinous Rice Water and became frightened. It shouted, "Chen Fei, let's talk this out; please don't make any moves."
I glanced at the brat and said, "When you first asked me to be your Substitute Ghost, you should have thought about the consequences. It's too late to beg for mercy now."
Without any hesitation, I poured the Glutinous Rice Water directly onto the Spirit Tablet. However, the next second, I suddenly started feeling unwell.
The brat suddenly said ominously to me, "If you think you can kill me, you're still too naive."
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