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墨書 Inktalez
"What did you do to Taliesin? You despicable person! She was under a lot of stress, but she was managing it well with medication. I've seen her medical records in her room, and it's completely curable. She didn't have to jump off the building. You pushed her to it, didn't you?"
"How could I have killed her myself? After all, she's my wife. She only has herself to blame. She meddles too much, overestimates herself, talks nonsense everywhere, and often says the wrong things! The key is that it would ruin my plans! I just kept her confined, fed and clothed her, just didn't let her run around. I never thought she would be so irrational! There's a door in the secret room that leads to a small bedroom, and I usually keep it locked. It was strange that it wasn't locked that day, and then she entered the small bedroom from the secret room, and then jumped out of the window! How can this be my fault? It's not my fault. I didn't make her do this, it was her own choice! She even said her death was worth it, that her death was to make me Surrender, it's unbelievable!"
"Enough, Zhang Xiaobei, you're truly a maniac! Are you trying to tell me that you want to treat me the same way as you did with Taliesin? You're really capable of doing it, you're too deeply poisoned, your soul has been completely eroded by the devil, if you keep going like this, you're destined for the 18th level of hell! Please, wake up! Untie me, I'll drink with you, I'll drink with you today, okay? Let's drink together, look, I have alcohol here, let's drink together!"
He has now developed a habit of drinking excessively, as soon as he hears there's alcohol, he becomes lively. He untied me and really made me drink with him. Do you think I really want to drink with him until we're both drunk? I can't give him any more chances to continue down the wrong path. After three drinks, while he was off guard, I tied him up.
"What are you doing, Liu Ying? You're a bad woman. Are you still the same Betty who loved me back then? Are you trying to send me to jail? Please don't do this, I beg you, don't do this, don't send me to that place!"
"Xiao Bei, you should wake up! The game should be over! You can't continue playing like this anymore!"
He shivered, feeling from the depths of his heart that something had died within him, but he couldn't quite articulate what it was.
"Xiao Bei, listen to me. I want to tell you that your life today is all predestined, arranged for you since the day you were born. Don't doubt it. When you decided to leave your hometown and travel to a foreign land, you began to embrace the unknown in life. Over these years, you have lacked noble ideals, aspirations, and exploration! Your ignorance of yourself has led you to strive to become a wealthy person in your world. Your life is pitiful and impoverished because what you seek is external, unable to truly enrich and bring happiness to your inner self! Because you lack a sense of security within, because your inner self is too impoverished, the soil of your heart needs to be sown with seeds that are suitable for it. What are these seeds? These seeds are what I am about to tell you next..."
"Everyone understands the general principles, don't give me these useless words, quickly untie me, I want to continue drinking!"
"Who is The woman in the secret room? She is the sister of the loan shark old woman, and you are the one who made her like this! She found out that you killed her sister, so you turned her into what she is now! You have personally harmed three women, do you know how heavy your sins are? All of this is enough to sentence you to death! As long as you listen to me and Surrender, I won't report you, I will wait for you to come out! I will wait for you, trust me! This is the only chance for you to be reborn!"
"Opportunity for rebirth? How to be reborn? Is it to make a fresh start and become a new person? Do I have any problems as a person? I just use any means necessary to achieve my goals. Darling, you have seen too little of the world. You only see me as a bad person, don't you? Let me tell you, there are plenty of people like me. This world is inherently unfair, and in order to achieve relative unfairness, we have to do things this way. Among these people, I am not the most ruthless one! There are even more ruthless people..."
"You want to talk about Diehard Shawn Bond, don't you? If you compare yourself to him, you are indeed far inferior, but that is not something you can boast about! Zhang Xiaobei, you are not really a bad person. You are a kind person. There are things you cannot do, and even if you do them, that is not your true self! Look at yourself now. If you can bear everything you have done, then there would be no pain. Where does the pain come from? You have already obtained everything you wanted, so why aren't you happy? You need to think about the fundamental reasons!"
Zhang Xiaobei thought about his situation and found it difficult to think. He was not interested in self-study and could only force himself.
Suddenly, he felt that all the things in front of him had left him, and now he felt as if he were standing under the sun again. He felt like a child, having nothing, being unable to do anything, and knowing nothing. He felt that everything in front of him was so mysterious! He also seemed to see a future version of himself, no longer young, with gray hair, weakened strength, and he laughed. He felt that his destiny was really strange, feeling tired, living naked and ignorant in this world. But he didn't feel sad, he just felt like laughing. He wanted to laugh at himself, to laugh at this strange and foolish world.
"What is the fundamental reason you're telling me? You don't even live as well as I do, so what qualifications do you have to talk to me about these big principles? Do you think I will listen to you?"
"Of course I have the qualifications. I am here to save you. If I don't have the qualifications, then no one else does!"
"You saved me, but the way you saved me by making me Surrender is out of the question. Quickly! Untie me, I want to drink!"
"As long as you are willing to have a heart-to-heart conversation with me and listen to everything I have to say, I will let you drink your fill!"
"Okay, go ahead!"
"I once had such a childhood, as you know. My father, he was a pastor, so because of my father's preaching, there would be gods and sacrifices in my childhood. When I reached my youth, I encountered the most unbearable experience in my life, and you saved me. At that time, I began to practice asceticism, I started to meditate in life, seeking a way to liberation. Unexpectedly, there was no way to be found, and I encountered even more difficult circumstances, those few years after you left! I think my poverty, my suffering, my pain are no less than yours, even more than yours! I have experienced the warmth of a home, and the pain of losing a home. I have experienced the life and death separation of blood relatives, and I witnessed my sister tragically die in front of me... Fortunately, I saved my own life, it no longer belongs to me, I began to pursue enlightenment, I wandered everywhere, living in the woods, enduring heat and cold, learning hunger, learning to let the body die. I truly found the god who possesses the truth, I feel the wisdom of the world as one, flowing through my whole body! Every day and night, I study the words of God. After many years, I have gained a soul, gained the ability to think, sometimes reaching the state of not forgetting, making me feel the unity of heaven and man! Do you know? This feeling is very good, it transcends the money, fame, and status you possess! Because what you possess originally does not belong to you, it will never belong to you, everything is a void! In the end, you still lose your life! Your greatest foolishness is not treating life as life, only your life is your precious wealth, everything else is just an accessory to life! Do you think this is the truth? I am fortunate that my choice is right, and your foolishness lies in using your own experience to verify that my choice is right! Think about it, you, learning love and desire from women, learning trade, amassing wealth, squandering money, satisfying your desires, and climbing the ranks of high officials. Do you think you are getting closer to your original happiness! But you have committed a crime, you have been blinded by money, so you must experience despair, sink into the most foolish thoughts, thinking of running away, thinking of suicide, you have regrets, wanting to wake up, but it is too late! You must first become a foolish person again, find your breath again, you must commit a crime again, and then be reborn, where is the road to go? Going around and around, always feeling like you haven't gotten out, but you want to get out, it's simple, you go Surrender, I'll wait for you outside! I will lead you out! Only through atonement, confession, and repentance, will your sins be lightened, the Almighty Father God will save you and give you a chance to start anew! From then on, you will be joyful and no longer sorrowful! People should be content with being well-fed and well-clothed..."
"Is it really so, can I be happy? But your father Steve Jobs died in front of you. Have you forgotten, how do you explain that? Was he happy to leave?"
"My father was in pain, he lived his whole life in suffering, his death was a relief for him. You are just like him, do you know why? Because neither of you are true believers, you did not worship him with your heart and honesty, you do not understand who he really is, you just say you believe, which is no different from the general public. Therefore, you cannot receive blessings, such people are the most pitiful! I have said so much, do you understand?"
"Can all that you said really come true? Do I still have a chance for a new life? But how long will I have to stay in this prison? It's so cold and dark, the endless wait in the long, dark night, isn't that even more tormenting?"
"The physical torment is temporary, the salvation of the soul is eternal!"
"But I don't want you to wait for me for a long time. I feel even more sorry for you! You don't need to do this at all, Liu Ying! The more you do this, the more ashamed I feel! Just because I did something wrong, I feel sorry for many people!"
Zhang Xiaobei silently lowered his head, as if he realized his mistake. He knew he had done something that a normal person shouldn't do. He felt ashamed of himself and didn't even recognize himself. He really wanted to go back to his childhood and find his former self.
"I'm going to Surrender, can they really treat me leniently? Will they really not execute me?"
"They can, I assure you, I promise you with the true faith I've believed in for so many years, you will be safe! Just trust me and follow me! Because you have no other way out, this is the only way."
"You make me think again, you make me think again! Quick! Pour me another drink!"
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