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墨書 Inktalez
6
"The one thing I regret the most is letting you get into a fight. There was a girl in our class named Lin Qi, and Gao Tianqun often bullied her outside of school, even forcing her to take nude photos. When Lin Qi was on the verge of suicide, I found her kneeling in front of me, begging me to save her. I wanted to report it to the teacher, but I wasn't sure if they would take it seriously. I was more worried that Gao Tianqun would leak those photos, so I thought about having you beat him up to make him stop bothering Lin Qi.
But I never expected you would get expelled.
When you left, I saw the bruises on your face; they must have been from your dad, right? Yet you still smiled and said it wasn't my fault, mentioning that you could still play video games at home and that it didn't matter since you could still take the college entrance exam. You were just that gentle. Xiao Hai, if we had three more months, would our ending have been different?
I always mess things up. We had countless chances to be together, but I, being such a fool, ruined them all.
Scoring fifty-nine feels worse than scoring zero. The greatest regret isn't what we never had, but rather what we almost achieved but failed to do—that's my biggest regret."
7
On the second day of winter break, someone called my name from downstairs. Peeking out in my long underwear, I was surprised to see Wei Ziyang.
She was wearing a white down jacket with a red scarf and a fluffy hat. In the early winter sun, for the first time, I thought Wei Ziyang looked quite pretty—if only she dressed up nicely.
"How did you know where I live?" I asked, pulling my head back in.
"I asked our homeroom teacher. Are you living like a wild man at home? With that look of yours, you resemble Mr. Fujino's uncle..." She started her usual teasing.
"What do you want?"
"Change your clothes; we're going out to have some fun." Wei Ziyang exhaled and smiled at me.
That winter break was wild for me. My parents went out of town and didn't come back for the New Year. I spent every day hanging out with Zhou Tong and others at internet cafes, billiard halls, and skating rinks, and Wei Ziyang joined us in our craziness. Every time we played games, she would run around buying us drinks; when we played billiards, she kept score for us; while skating, she always wanted me to lead her. This girl was naturally brave and unafraid of pain; she would drag me forward before she even learned how to balance herself properly, often making me fall flat on my face.
"Don't you ever ask the people around you when you're smoking?" Wei Ziyang pinched her nose and couldn't help but complain.
I must have been caught up in the fun because I handed her the cigarette pack and sincerely asked, "Want one?"
Zhou Tong and the others burst into laughter at our exchange as Wei Ziyang snatched my cigarette pack and threw it off the second floor of the internet cafe. Still unsatisfied, she started smashing random keys on my keyboard, causing our team to wipe out in the game.
Just then, a woman's voice shouted from downstairs like a fishwife: "Who the hell is throwing things around? Do you have any manners?"
I looked down and was surprised to see Gu Yueyue, along with another woman standing beside her. I hurried downstairs, noticing that Gu Yueyue's forehead was slightly swollen, likely from being hit by a cigarette box. I quickly apologized, "I'm so sorry! My friends were just messing around, are you okay?"
The woman next to Gu Yueyue said, "What do you mean messing around? Throwing a cigarette box is just playing? What if it were a shot put and it killed someone? Would you take responsibility?"
I blurted out, "There are no shot puts in an internet café, don’t worry."
The woman was taken aback by my response, opening her mouth as if to scold me, but Gu Yueyue held her back and softly said, "This is my classmate."
This was an opportunity; under the guise of apologizing, I invited Gu Yueyue to dinner. During the meal, I realized that Gu Yueyue was just a shallow girl, constantly talking about Korean stars and clothes from the mall. My enthusiasm waned. Distance is the best filter; from afar, only the positives are visible. But up close, the flaws become glaringly obvious.
As we left the restaurant, Gu Yueyue secretly handed me a piece of paper with her phone number written on it. She said I could call her when I had time. I took the note and smiled at her, but once home, I tossed it into the trash.
On New Year's Eve, I was at home making dumplings. The New Year was the busiest time for my parents, and I had long gotten used to spending it alone. I turned up the volume on the TV. Suddenly, there was a loud banging on the door. When I opened it, I saw Wei Ziyang standing there. I said, "Is that how you knock? Are you here for revenge or to collect a debt?"
Wei Ziyang raised the bag in her hand and said, "I'm here to keep you company for New Year’s. A dog biting Lü Dongbin."
Inside the bag were some snacks and a few bottles of alcohol. Wei Ziyang changed into slippers and rolled up her sleeves to boil water. I watched in amazement as she poured cola into the kettle to boil it and then mixed it with Erguotou liquor. She poured us each a large cup while a boring skit played on the Spring Festival Gala. She turned to me and said, "What are you staring at? Come drink!"
Looking at the murky liquid made me uneasy. "Is this safe to drink?"
She replied confidently, "It’s fine! My dad drinks like this all the time; he says it keeps you warm."
I hesitated, "Never mind; I'll stick with beer."
Wei Ziyang raised an eyebrow at me. Just as I thought about escaping, she lunged at me. The scent of her perfume enveloped me as she grabbed my neck and forced my mouth open, pouring half a cup of liquor down my throat. Before I could react, warmth spread through my stomach followed by a wave of dizziness. Wei Ziyang laughed, "You really are someone who refuses to drink properly!"
We ended up drinking from eight-thirty until midnight. During our time together, Wei Ziyang received a phone call; it seemed to be from her family. She lied about being at a female classmate's house and said she would return in the morning since it was too late now. Our faces flushed red as we squinted at the TV.
In the early hours of the morning, I woke up feeling cold and saw Wei Ziyang curled up asleep on the sofa. Outside, faint sounds of firecrackers could still be heard. I picked her up and placed her on the bed, pulling the blanket over her. Just then, she suddenly opened her eyes wide and startled me so much that I fell onto the floor.
"What do you think you're doing?" Her cheeks were still flushed.
"I... what can I do? I'm worried you'll catch a cold," I stammered.
"Want to give it a try?" Her clear gaze locked onto mine.
"Try what?"
"Let's... make love." She uttered those two words.
I was taken aback, jumping up in shock. This crazy woman must have been drunk; I considered her a brother, and now she wanted to sleep with me.
"Have you had too much to drink?" I stammered, feeling flustered and unsure of where to put my hands.
"What are you afraid of? I don't need you to take responsibility. Just this once, what do you say?" Her expression was surprisingly serious.
"You should go to bed. I'm going to sleep in the study," I said, turning to leave, almost pinching my fingers in the door as I closed it behind me.
The next morning, Wei Ziyang emerged from my room, stretching lazily and calling out, "I'm hungry. Is there anything to eat?"
I looked at her in disbelief; she had transformed back into that tomboyish self, rummaging around for snacks. "About last night..." I started.
"What about it?" she asked, looking genuinely confused.
As expected, that was just the drunken madness she had displayed.
"Nothing. Let's go downstairs for breakfast; there's a place selling buns," I sighed in relief.
After New Year's Eve, Wei Ziyang sought me out twice more. Perhaps due to that incident, every time she got close to me, my heart raced with anxiety, though she seemed oblivious to any oddity. Once school resumed, the pressure of the upcoming college entrance exams hit hard—only one day off each month. The next time I saw Wei Ziyang was in May when I returned to campus.
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