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墨書 Inktalez
Ziya tossed and turned in bed, unable to sleep, her mind racing with the faces of everyone she had seen in the building. Excluding those who had already passed away, she focused on one person based on the order in which she had encountered them. This individual was unremarkable, but the newspaper she had seen in her dream featured a photo of that person right below the list of deceased. The first name was… but that didn’t make any sense! Qin Nannan wasn’t even mentioned in the paper; how could anything have happened to her? She rolled over again, losing track of how many times she had done so.
“Hey, can you settle down? Are you trying to keep everyone awake?” Sun Meng grumbled from the lower bunk, sounding half-asleep. In truth, she couldn’t sleep either; she just didn’t like constant tossing and turning. Instead, she quietly counted numbers in her head, trying to lull herself to sleep by counting sheep… but tonight, her usual method failed her. She stared at the ceiling above her, where Ziya was making the bed creak incessantly, and a yawn unexpectedly overtook her.
“Can’t sleep either?” Ziya asked softly.
“Uh…”
“Why don’t we talk?” Ziya suggested tentatively.
“Don’t even think about it; don’t bring that up in the middle of the night…” Sun Meng replied stubbornly.
“Uh… okay, let’s not talk about that. How about we discuss your story with Liang Chao instead?”
“What story could I possibly have with him? Absolutely none,” Sun Meng said, instinctively reaching up to touch her still-sore cheek.
“Well then… let’s just sleep!” Ziya sighed lightly, opening her eyes. She knew there was nothing to see in the dark but truly didn’t want to continue spiraling into her thoughts. She thought about chatting with Sun Meng to distract herself, but it seemed like her friend wasn’t interested. Staring into the darkness above her, she suddenly wondered what life would be like if she hadn’t listened to her parents and stayed in this city but instead chosen a university elsewhere. The two remained silent in the dark for several minutes; outside, it seemed the wind had picked up, and occasionally they heard branches clashing against each other in the stillness of the night.
“What are you thinking about?” Sun Meng finally broke the silence, clearly unable to sleep.
“I was thinking about when I chose my college major—if I hadn’t been in this city, would I have met you?”
Sun Meng shifted slightly and replied, “There aren’t that many maybes. I remember envying you for being pretty and having boys dote on you. Back then, I wished I could be you for just one day…”
"Wow! Did you know that I envy you too?" Ziya exclaimed in surprise. She hadn't realized that Sun Meng had such thoughts. Leaning to the side, she glanced down at the dark lower bunk. The lower bunk remained silent, seemingly listening intently to why she envied her. Ziya continued to murmur, "Remember in spring when someone sent you flowers? In summer, someone brought you cold drinks? I even benefited from it, making that person send double portions each time." She thought to herself, why am I not like you? At least you have someone who cares. There are people who value you, while I pretend to be cold in front of a crowd of insincere faces just to maintain my pride.
"Ha! Do you know why that person sent me flowers?" Sun Meng chuckled.
"Why?"
"He wanted to see you but was too shy, so he went to the school's flower pots to steal some and used the excuse of sending flowers just to catch a glimpse of you. Everything happens because of you, so they willingly come to flatter me. Why wouldn't I enjoy it? The only exception was with Liang Chao; was I being a bit selfish?"
"I don't think so. Love is inherently selfish; it's also a devil. It can turn a kind heart into something quite wicked." Ziya maintained a fleeting sense of admiration for Liang Chao, but nothing more. Deep down, she felt she wasn't as good as Sun Meng imagined. As someone who appeared polished on the outside but was barren within, she often found herself pondering the motives of these trivial admirers.
"Well, Ziya, did you know that Liang Chao and I felt guilty towards you for a while? We always wanted to make it up to you, but you kept rejecting us coldly. You're too proud. Honestly, do you only have eyes for him? Have you ever thought about giving others a chance?"
"Cut it out; don't drag me into this."
"Okay then, what do you want to talk about?" Sun Meng sat up on her lower bunk, pressing the light on and shaking off her drowsiness as she looked at Ziya.
"Promise not to scold me first," Ziya said, pouting deliberately. Sun Meng understood her intention but nodded in agreement nonetheless.
"I want to deduce who the deceased person is from the building below," Ziya stated while keeping an eye on Sun Meng's changing expression.
"In your imagination, there's a woman and a man... I can't see their faces, but I'm sure they are closely related to what happened in the building," Sun Meng said as she pulled out a cigarette from her pocket and lit it, blue smoke curling up in the dorm room.
"When did you start smoking?" Ziya asked in surprise.
"Do you believe that being with Liang Chao would change you?"
"Why?" Ziya didn't understand. If one had found true love, what troubles could possibly make a person feel disgust that didn't even exist?
"Lack of confidence. Every time I see him succeed, or when I notice prettier girls surrounding him, I just feel foolish and want to cry..." Sun Meng pinched the cigarette butt between her thumb and forefinger, her moist eyes revealing a vulnerability rarely seen. Ziya was momentarily at a loss for words to comfort her. No wonder she had gone on a drunken rampage at Old Lady's Tofu Shop; love could drive a normal person into a corner. Loving someone so deeply was painful; sometimes it felt better not to love at all.
"Uh... enough of this boring talk. Tell me about what you saw in your dreams," Sun Meng said, forcefully rubbing the cigarette butt against the ground to extinguish it before tossing it into the nearby trash can. She leaned closer to Ziya and whispered.
"I remember the first time I dreamt, there were two people—a man and a woman—doing that kind of thing together, and then they ended up arguing... a spinning kaleidoscope of heavy concrete..." Ziya struggled to control the fear that the memories brought back, her brow furrowed tightly, and her palms felt cold with a sudden sweat from the dread.
"Do you remember what they looked like?" Sun Meng recalled the slip during the hypnosis session when she had seen a woman and a man in Ziya's imagination.
Ziya shook her head. "I don't remember their faces; dreams always feel unreal. But in the second dream, there was a sense of reality. Based on my feelings, the next person will definitely be her..."
"Who?" Sun Meng perked up with interest, leaning over the edge of the bed eagerly asking.
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