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墨書 Inktalez
After that explosive revelation about our parent-child relationship, Gu Yanshen, the scoundrel, turned back.
In the circles, his actions were dubbed "the funeral pyre of chasing a wife."
He tormented me for three years, and then suddenly had an epiphany, launching a fierce offensive.
He was determined to put on an act of deep affection, playing the role of a reformed rogue with shallow words but intense feelings.
He spoke little, but his actions were pervasive. I suddenly felt that my life was being severely invaded.
He or his arranged people frequently appeared around me, under the guise of caring for me, attending to my every need with meticulous detail,
except for the fact that he couldn’t come into my room to help me put on my shoes.
It was as if he wanted to monitor every aspect of my life; even when I took a sip of water, someone would be there to offer it to me.
The entire crew seemed to be cooperating in his pursuit of me, occasionally coming over to show off and express their admiration for Gu Yanshen's deep feelings.
Later, I learned that this drama was funded by Gu Yanshen; he had hired the entire crew and was the sole financier.
Today was the last scene, one where I could bully and torment Gu Yanshen.
Once filming officially began,
I recklessly pulled out my belt and began to lash at Gu Yanshen with all my might.
I knew this was my last chance to vent my frustrations.
My body felt like it had split into two; the Lin Xin I had forgotten and abandoned in the past was fading away with my anger.
Once today passed, I decided I would truly let myself go.
I struck Gu Yanshen hard enough to cause an injury serious enough for him to need a hospital visit. The crew exaggeratedly called for an ambulance, and it was caught by the media, making headlines in a major news story.
I went to the hospital to apologize.
Gu Yanshen lay on the hospital bed, looking somewhat pleased as he watched me.
He sat up beside me and asked, "Xin Xin, have you vented your anger?"
I paused for two seconds in silence, nodded slightly, and finally glanced at him with the eyes of a twenty-three-year-old Lin Xin before turning to leave.
"Wait," he called out to me, turning on the television in the VIP room. The news was playing.
His voice came through, "Xin Xin, I avenged you. You should take a look."
I stopped in my tracks and turned my head to watch the news broadcast.
The head of the Wang Group was under investigation for tax evasion, and during the inquiry, the expert panel discovered that Wang's Eldest Son was involved in a dangerous power-for-sex transaction and had been handed over to the police.
I stared silently at the news as Gu Yanshen continued, "That scumbag messed with a minor—she wasn't even fourteen. The evidence is overwhelming; he won't get out."
"Now no one is there to protect him. With the city gates on fire, everyone is busy trying to put it out; they can't save him now."
Xin Xin, he said as tears began to flow down his cheeks, "I avenged you."
I suddenly sighed, my thoughts becoming complicated in an instant.
The gender-swapped web series never aired, much like my first role in life, which was abruptly cut short.
So aside from those in the industry, fans outside had long forgotten that I had ever acted alongside Gu Yanshen.
Later, my resources took off, and about five or six years later, I began to rise as a film star.
The reason was simple: the capital behind me was Gu Yanshen. He invested a lot of money in me.
All I needed to do was choose the right scripts.
I had a good eye and starred in several well-received dramas that garnered positive acclaim.
Although my acting was average at first, I worked hard and eventually won a few minor awards.
Some fans dug up my previous short dramas and variety shows, establishing me as a resilient and bold leading lady in the entertainment industry.
Later on, fans discovered that Gu Yanshen was my financial backer.
The owner of Emerging Media and a former artist gave Gu Yanshen a lot of domineering charisma. After my career stabilized, he publicly expressed his affection for me multiple times.
Neither of us hid it; I never denied his support and pursuit.
As a result, we gained a large number of shippers who rooted for us in real life.
However, while I enjoyed everything Gu Yanshen brought me, I never looked back.
I truly became someone who prioritized personal gain above all else—only taking and never giving anything in return.
Sometimes I wonder, does he love me?
He must love the obsession he once had, love the sacrifices he made and the atonement he sought.
But what about me? Do I love him? I don't know.
I understand the purpose behind his past choices, yet I cannot forgive him.
Because that 23-year-old Lin Xin who just debuted is already gone.
Now, Lin Xin has changed.
Just like that time when he cried in the hospital room, saying he would take revenge for me,
I didn’t feel touched at all; my heart was filled with complexity.
My first reaction was that he succeeded, that he felt guilty towards me. So what can I gain from this?
Now it’s clear that I got what I wanted:
A career and the spotlight.
Aside from love,
I no longer need love, but I do need Gu Yanshen.
I must learn to raise my hand, to beckon him, to let go and then pull him back.
I’ve learned it well, this dance of closeness and distance that tests one’s resolve.
I succeeded.
As for everything else, it no longer matters. For Gu Yanshen, I am indifferent.
Let's live like this,
Always apart, yet always together.
I can hear the applause and money flowing into my pockets,
This sense of security is enough.
---
(Gu Yanshen's Perspective)
I am a proud and arrogant person.
It took me a few days to realize this.
When Lin Xin was finally rescued from that beast, my heart ached unbearably. I loathed my own powerlessness and could only take a knife to confront the producer.
He is the eldest son of the Wang Group, and no one in this circle dares to provoke him. I knew that no one could seek revenge for us.
We could not ask for fairness or justice; all the witnesses present seemed to think this was an ordinary story.
It felt as if I had only been a second too slow, transforming into someone without surveillance, without testimony—no blood, no heart-wrenching cries, no premeditated assault.
It was as if everything was an illusion, swept away by the wind.
Except for Lin Xin lying in the hospital, unconscious and still battling her cold sweat, her wounds stained with blood that couldn't be cleaned away.
I couldn't imagine what she would look like when she woke up, nor could I contain my despair and anger.
So I took the knife,
Driven by instinct, I wanted to kill that rapist.
A woman blocked my path; she was an old photograph, buried deep in my heart for over a decade.
She was my mother, a woman who abandoned her husband and child when I was just five years old.
She said she could help me.
She said I needed to help her.
My mother, Zhang Xiaofeng, deceived the old man of the Wang Group, climbing to power after years as his mistress. Once he and his legitimate wife passed away, she schemed to seize the family fortune.
Her stepson, the eldest of the Wang Group, was the man she needed to take down.
We had a common enemy, so I agreed.
It was an unequal transaction; I didn’t realize that in addition to jeopardizing my own future,
I was also risking my love with Lin Xin.
During the time Lin Xin remained in a coma, I busied myself trying to please our enemies. I didn’t want Lin Xin to wake up and face a crumbling world.
That rapist’s failed attempt that night only ignited a stronger interest.
He declared that whoever delivered Lin Xin to his bed willingly would be rewarded with resources and money.
They were a pack of hungry wolves, a bunch of beasts. I struggled to navigate among them, begging for mercy.
Eventually, my mother intervened and sent a girl to the Wang family through me, which slowly quelled the storm.
I found myself trapped in this scheme, becoming the sinner first.
Afterward, there was no turning back. The Wang heir had a twisted sense of humor; he knew Lin Xin and I were in love and threatened to tear us apart.
My mother got involved and forced me to pretend to be her lover, acting alongside her so she could meddle in the group’s entertainment business.
I found myself entangled in a web of confusion, believing that seeking revenge against the Wang family was my sole purpose.
So, I played along with Mother, putting on a show together.
As Lin Xin's consciousness gradually returned, I found myself spending less and less time with her.
When she first woke up, she was dazed, like an adorable little rabbit, easily startled and often losing large chunks of her memory.
But as she began to regain her awareness, she transformed into someone else. I looked at her withering face and felt as if she might leave me at any moment, leaving this world behind.
Then one day, when I went to see her, she had forgotten many things and asked me why I never came to visit her.
Before I could explain, the hospital door swung open, and Mother walked in with a smile, linking her arm with mine.
Just as I was about to speak up, I noticed Lin Xin staring at us intently, a mocking expression on her face.
I suddenly fell silent.
I knew she must have misunderstood something.
In that instant, I realized she hated me—deeply, profoundly hated me.
But I couldn't bring myself to explain.
Looking into her eyes filled with resentment, I saw a spark of life returning to them.
It was as if she had summoned back her vitality; that stubbornness and tenacious courage dispelled the lifelessness that surrounded her.
In that moment, I felt it clearly—she hated me.
She could only survive.
Over the course of a few days, I watched her leave the hospital, vibrant and full of life. I even took pride in my own sacrifices and cleverness.
But every night after she was discharged, I sat outside her rented room on the first floor, keeping her company.
I listened to her cry all night in the darkened room. I heard her sobs shift from suppressed to hysterical, and then fade into silence.
It took me five whole months to realize my own arrogance and foolishness.
Yet it seemed I could not turn back.
After I resolved my issues, I sought her out again.
Only then did I learn that she had always believed I left her because I despised her situation, that I found her repulsive.
In truth,
I had harmed her,
I had destroyed her.
But back then, I was too young and ignorant of so many things.
Yet I still had time, still had a chance for atonement.
I had my entire life ahead of me, all of it could be used to make amends.
(The End)
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