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墨書 Inktalez
“...Mother didn’t mean it that way. No one feels good when their own son gets beaten,” I said, feeling increasingly agitated. What kind of mindset did a cousin I had never met have to talk to me like this?
“I know, I know. Just let me finish. There are many things you don’t understand. I hit him because he often gets drunk and asks you for money. When he drinks too much with people outside, he calls me, and I live on the sixth floor. The landlord almost called the police because of him. The landlord has complained to me too many times; I had no choice but to hit him. Really, if he keeps acting like this, I’d come over on a plane just to give him a beating and see what he dares to say.”
“Mother is angry because Second Brother got into a fight while drinking and ended up with a head injury, lying in the intensive care unit for a week before coming out, and then you hit his head again.”
“I know, I know, but I can’t just let it go. You understand, right? He hangs out with those people every day, doesn’t listen to anything I say, and keeps calling you for money, which is why I hit him. I still have my two bars and one star on my shoulder; my brother has two bars and two stars over there. My dad often talks about me,” my cousin boasted.
“Actually, my relationship with my two brothers is pretty average. These matters don’t concern me now; we’re almost like strangers, so I don’t want to know about this.” I felt confused by what he was saying. What exactly did my cousin want to convey? Why was he telling me all this?
“Jing Jing, you really need to know some things. You should be aware of family matters; you can’t just follow your parents blindly—they favor their two sons more.”
“The affairs of the previous generation have nothing to do with me. We’ve never met or grown up together; it’s normal for us to be like strangers. I just can’t understand why Uncle San keeps bringing up my grandmother’s past.”
“Jing Jing, my dad is actually your mom’s half-brother from their grandfather’s third wife. Uncle is from one mother, Aunt from another mother, and my dad and your mom are from the third mother. So we should be closer.”
My cousin poured out everything he knew over the phone.
“In fact, I know a lot of things already. When Second Brother got beaten while drinking, it was me who called the police to check the surveillance footage. And that time he stole a motorcycle—I also knew about that—and that you were adopted, not their biological child.”
Adopted? Not born to my parents? Did I hear that right? No wonder they had always treated me poorly; no wonder they favored Second Brother; no wonder... All the answers seemed to stem from the fact that I wasn’t their biological child.
“In fact, I learned many things when I was young; Grandma told me that you were adopted from the nearby mountain.”
“Adopted? What are you saying? I didn’t catch that.” Only now did I dare to ask.
“You’re adopted; didn’t you know? Some things you need to be aware of—you shouldn’t let your parents take advantage of you anymore.” Hearing that confirmation made my heart tremble.
“Your parents had you first before having your second brother.”
“Then shouldn’t I be older than him?”
“No, you’re younger than him; it’s just that after having you, they had him.”
“But what you said doesn’t make sense!” His contradictory statements raised my suspicions. If I was really adopted, then it would make sense. But why didn’t his words align logically regarding age?
“Really, you should call Auntie and ask her about it. Just ask her.” At that moment, I felt completely unmoored. If I wasn’t my parents’ biological child, then who were my real parents? Who could I call “Mom”?
I hung up the phone in a daze and sat on the balcony. The tears I imagined didn’t fall. I didn’t know how long I sat there; all I knew was that my heart was in turmoil.
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