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I stood in front of the mirror, taking a deep breath to calm the nervousness inside me. Tonight, I had finally made up my mind to confess my feelings to Gu Yan. The recent incident with my ex-girlfriend had hit me hard, making me realize that I could no longer passively test Gu Yan's feelings. I had to take the initiative; otherwise, I might miss out on this precious relationship.
I carefully checked the arrangement on the dining table, ensuring every detail was flawless. Red wine, candles, and the dinner I had meticulously prepared—all following an online guide step by step. Over the past few days, I had practiced my confession countless times, even rehearsing in my dreams. But now that the moment had arrived, I felt a bit flustered.
The doorbell rang, and my heart raced. Deep breath, Su Qing, you can do this. I silently encouraged myself before heading to open the door.
Gu Yan stood at the entrance, looking slightly puzzled as he regarded me. "Why so formal? Is there something special about today?"
I forced a smile. "Come in; I have something to tell you."
Gu Yan followed me into the house and paused when he saw the setup on the dining table. I could sense his gaze shifting between me and the table, seemingly pondering something.
"Um... why don’t you sit down first?" I stammered, secretly annoyed at how awkward I suddenly felt.
Once we were seated, the atmosphere turned a bit tense. I kept pouring wine for Gu Yan, afraid that if I stopped, I'd have to confront that difficult topic. Gu Yan was unusually silent as well, occasionally glancing at me with a mix of anticipation and nervousness in his eyes.
"Su Qing, what do you want to say?" Finally, Gu Yan couldn't hold back any longer.
I took a deep breath and tightened my grip on the wine glass. If not now, then when? I steeled myself internally and looked directly into Gu Yan's eyes.
"Gu Yan, I... I like you." My voice trembled slightly but was firm as I continued, "Not just as friends; it's the kind of liking where I want to be with you."
As soon as the words left my mouth, I felt my face flush intensely. Gu Yan was taken aback; it seemed he hadn't expected me to be so direct. Watching his wide eyes made my heart race with anxiety.
"I... I know this might put you in a difficult position," I continued, fearing he would outright reject me, "but I really like you. Living with you during this time has made me even more certain of my feelings. If you don't feel the same way, we can still be friends; I won't..."
"Wait, Su Qing," Gu Yan suddenly interrupted me, "you said... you like me?"
I nodded, unable to meet his gaze.
Gu Yan fell silent for a moment before gently laughing. I looked up at him in confusion, not understanding why he was smiling.
"Su Qing, do you know?" Gu Yan's voice trembled slightly, "I like you too, for a long time."
I couldn't believe my ears. "Really? Then... why didn't you say anything before?"
Gu Yan shook his head with a wry smile. "I was afraid of being rejected and also afraid of ruining our friendship. You mean too much to me; I didn't want to take that risk."
Hearing this, I could no longer control my emotions and threw my arms around Gu Yan. We held each other tightly, all misunderstandings and hesitations dissolving in that moment.
"So we were both cautiously testing each other," I said softly as I leaned on Gu Yan's shoulder, "wasting so much time."
Gu Yan gently stroked my hair. "It's okay; we still have a long time ahead of us."
We exchanged smiles and slowly leaned in closer. Under the candlelight, we shared our first kiss. In that moment, I felt as if the whole world had quieted down, leaving only the sound of our heartbeats.
From that day on, we officially started dating. Our life together became even sweeter. Every morning when I woke up and saw Gu Yan beside me, I couldn't help but smile. We made breakfast together, went to work together, and spent every ordinary yet happy day side by side.
Sometimes, I think back to that cautious and tentative version of myself, and I can't help but find it a bit amusing. If it weren't for that moment of courage when I confessed my feelings, we might still be standing still, missing out on so many beautiful moments.
Love is like this; it requires the courage to pursue and the honesty to maintain. I am grateful that I took that step, and I am equally thankful that Gu Yan felt the same way. In this city, we found each other and became each other's safe haven.
Every night before I fall asleep, I silently thank that version of myself who decided to confess. It was that decision that brought me the happiness I have now. I know that no matter what the future holds, as long as Gu Yan is by my side, I will have the courage to face anything.
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