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I Gave My Husband Six Shots of Animal Medicine
墨書 Inktalez
"I killed him, I took his life..."
I sat beside my husband's corpse, repeatedly staring at my own hands. These hands, which once nurtured and cared for my family, were now stained with his blood. Hands that had been bruised countless times by his blows now bore the weight of his death.
My name is Zhang Hong. I am 44 years old, an ordinary rural woman from a small village in Jilin. Twenty years ago, when I was 18, my family was poor, and my parents were eager to marry me off. At that time, Wang Qiang appeared tall and strong, with a bit of a reputation in the village and a decent family background. I thought this would be my life—marrying someone acceptable and living a stable existence.
Little did I know that on the very first night of our wedding, the nightmare would begin.
"Why the hell do you have so many rules about sleeping?"
On our wedding night, a drunken Wang Qiang tore open my clothes. When he saw me shyly trying to hide, he slapped me hard across the face. The pain shot through me, and tears welled up in my eyes.
"I married you, so you have to obey me!" he roared. The events that followed—those brutal, crude moments filled with pain—still make me tremble at the thought.
I believed he was just acting out due to alcohol and would apologize once he sobered up. However, the next day, not only did he show no remorse, but he also warned me: "Now that we're married, it's normal for a man to hit his wife. If you dare tell your family about last night, I'll break your legs!"
Under his threats, I swallowed my anger and endured it all. But my patience only led to more severe abuse. Initially, it was because the food didn't suit his taste; then it was because I spoke a few words with the neighbors; eventually, he didn't even need a reason—just being drunk or in a bad mood was enough for him to take it out on me.
"What are you even worth? Without me, you'd starve to death!"
"Look at that ugly face of yours; it's really disgusting!"
I once tried to resist.
In the third year of our marriage, he burned my arm with a cigarette butt because I bought a brand of alcohol he didn't like. I screamed hysterically, struggling to escape. He grabbed my hair and dragged me back into the house, holding a kitchen knife to my neck, saying, "Do you dare to run? If you do, I’ll kill you right now!"
In that moment, I saw the madness in his eyes and knew he was capable of it.
Afterward, I gave birth to two children, thinking that having kids would soften him. But their cries only made him more irritable. He complained that they disturbed his sleep and scolded me for not being able to manage them properly.
One night, after drinking, he came home to find our two-year-old son crying incessantly. In a fit of rage, he grabbed the child and threatened to throw him against the wall. I lunged forward to protect our son with my body and ended up with two broken ribs from his kick.
I struggled to report him to the police. The village officers arrived and, seeing my battered body, merely advised me, "Try to resolve your family issues yourself. He was just impulsive; you should be more understanding." Then they left.
Wang Qiang promised the police he wouldn’t hit me again, but as soon as they were gone, he changed his demeanor: "You dare to call the cops? Are you tired of living?"
That night, he whipped me with a belt until I passed out. When I woke up, I found myself in the Village Clinic. The doctor hesitated before finally saying, "You’re not living well."
I thought about getting a divorce, but the local civil affairs office knew Wang Qiang's family. As soon as I applied, they informed him. He dragged me home and beat me in front of the entire village, shouting, "You shameless woman! You want a divorce? Not a chance!"
No one dared intervene; some even advised me, "Just endure it for the sake of the children."
I considered escaping, but as a rural woman with no education or skills and two small children, where could I go? Moreover, Wang Qiang threatened me: "If you run away, I’ll kill your whole family—starting with your parents!"
I believed he would do it.
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