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墨書 Inktalez
"A... hilarious... battle of offense and defense!" My voice echoed across the battlefield, shrouded in smoke and the stench of blood, drawing everyone's attention as if they were staring at a fool.
The burly leader twitched at the corner of his mouth, nearly losing grip on the machete in his hand.
"Wei... are you really out of your mind from being bitten by a zombie?" he asked with great difficulty.
Ignoring him, I simply smiled mysteriously and shouted to the chaotic crowd, "Listen up! From now on, whoever kills the most zombies and has the funniest style will win!"
"What do we get if we win?!" a blood-soaked mercenary gasped.
"What do you get? You get... to receive my personally awarded... Best Performance Award at tonight's victory celebration!" I said with a serious expression, as if it were the highest honor.
The crowd exchanged glances, clearly bewildered by my absurd proposal.
But soon, Zhong Dali, that big oaf, was the first to react.
"Wow! Is what Brother Wei said true?! I want to win the grand prize!" he exclaimed excitedly, pumping his fists in the air. With a bear hug, he crushed a mutated zombie that lunged at him, dislocating its bones.
Then, as if dancing, he twisted his hefty body and used the zombie as a punching bag, delivering blows that made it screech in distress.
This scene inexplicably eased the tense atmosphere.
The other mercenaries were also stunned, watching Zhong Dali's comical antics, and many couldn't help but burst into laughter.
Seizing the moment, I shouted even louder, "Look! Zhong Dali has already started his performance! Don't fall behind!"
As soon as I finished speaking, a stir erupted among the crowd.
He cleared his throat and picked up a brand new megaphone, only to accidentally crank the volume to the maximum.
“Ahem… everyone… ahem, survivors…” His voice was amplified countless times through the megaphone, causing the entire hall to buzz with noise, and many people even covered their ears.
Wei Zhong was clearly flustered; he fumbled with the megaphone, only to turn the volume down to the minimum.
“… This time… in the offensive and defensive battle…” His voice became as small as a mosquito's, and everyone had to lean in close just to hear him.
A wave of whispers and laughter erupted from the audience.
“Hey! Old Wei! Is your megaphone broken or what?”
“Commander! Isn’t it time you upgraded your equipment?!”
Wei Zhong’s face turned beet red. He awkwardly chuckled and ultimately gave up on the megaphone, shouting instead, “This time… we… won! Everyone performed… exceptionally well!”
Though his voice was a bit hoarse, it still echoed throughout the hall.
Applause erupted once more, more enthusiastic than ever before.
I couldn’t help but chuckle at Wei Zhong’s embarrassed demeanor.
It seemed even leaders had their unreliable moments.
---
The atmosphere of the awards ceremony grew increasingly lively until it was once again my turn to take over as host.
"Next, we will showcase the various resources obtained during this battle!" I announced loudly. "To thank everyone for their brave performance, we will distribute the resources gained to... the most promising team members!"
As soon as I finished speaking, a wave of cheers erupted from the crowd.
Several new teammates' eyes sparkled with excitement, like hungry wolves spotting meat.
"The first item on display is a mysterious box we found among the zombie horde!" I pointed to a massive metal crate that several mercenaries had brought up.
When the box was opened, it revealed an array of strange and unusual technological equipment. There were energy guns glowing with blue light, oddly shaped cutting tools, and even a few sci-fi styled mechanical arms.
"Wow!" Zhong Dali's eyes widened in wonder as he leaned in closer like a curious child, only to accidentally knock one of the energy guns to the ground.
"Hey! Zhong Dali! Can you be more careful?!" one of the new teammates complained.
"I... I didn't mean to..." Zhong Dali scratched his head sheepishly.
Just then, a mysterious girl suddenly dashed out from the crowd. Her movements were lightning-fast as she snatched up the fallen energy gun.
"This gun... is mine now!" she said coldly, her eyes filled with possessiveness.
"Why?! I saw it first!" a new teammate protested angrily.
"Because... I'm faster than you!" The mysterious girl sneered, and with a flash of light from the energy gun in her hand, she left a charred mark on the wall.
Everyone gasped in shock.
This girl was clearly a hidden master!
Everyone seemed like sharks sensing blood, fixated on the rare resources and… me.
“Next up is the highlight of this conference!” I clapped my hands, trying to revive the atmosphere. “We will be selecting the most… courageous, most… selfless, and most… humorous… Best MVP of this battle!”
I deliberately emphasized the word “humorous,” eliciting another round of laughter from the audience.
“The honor goes to… our strongman! Zhong Dali!” I announced loudly.
Zhong Dali paused for a moment, then scratched his head and walked onto the stage with a silly grin.
His honest face was filled with excitement.
“Wow! Brother Wei! Did I… really win an award?!” he stammered in his excitement.
I patted him on the shoulder and smiled, “Of course! You are the… mascot of our new base!”
Zhong Dali beamed, revealing a set of big white teeth.
“To celebrate Zhong Dali’s award, we have specially prepared a… skill demonstration segment!” I said mysteriously.
The audience erupted into thunderous applause.
Zhong Dali clearly hadn’t anticipated this; he nervously rubbed his hands together.
“What… what should I demonstrate?” he asked quietly.
“Anything you like!” I encouraged him. “Show us your… strength! Your… comedic talent!”
Zhong Dali thought for a moment, then suddenly shouted excitedly, "Then... I'll do a bare-handed smash on a big rock!"
He dashed to the center of the stage and spotted a discarded steel plate, his eyes instantly lighting up.
"Watch me! Wow!" he yelled, then swung his fist down hard onto the steel plate.
"Bang!"
The steel plate didn't budge an inch, but Zhong Dali clutched his fist, grimacing in pain.
"Ouch! My hand! It hurts so much!" he cried out with tears welling in his eyes.
The audience erupted in laughter, some even doubled over with amusement.
I couldn't help but laugh at Zhong Dali's ridiculous antics.
This guy was truly a character.
---
As the awards ceremony drew to a close, the atmosphere shifted slightly.
The rare resources ultimately went to a few standout new teammates.
Among them, the mysterious girl received an energy gun, while another new teammate skilled in explosives got a box of high-energy explosives.
After obtaining their resources, both of them displayed a glimmer of excitement and... greed hidden deep within their eyes.
I watched them, fully aware that this was not just a distribution of resources, but a reshuffling of the power dynamics within the new base.
In this "Hilarious Offensive and Defensive Battle," I appeared to be merely the host, yet I seized the opportunity to observe everyone's abilities and hidden cards.
Especially that mysterious girl; her speed and explosive power far exceeded my expectations.
Then there was the seemingly honest "Iron-headed Vanguard," Wang Dachui. He displayed astonishing resilience in battle, something that ordinary people could not achieve.
I even suspected that each of them harbored unknown special abilities or, perhaps... hidden secrets.
"Alright, everyone!" I picked up the megaphone again, carefully adjusting the volume to normal. "The award ceremony is now concluded!"
A murmur of discontent rippled through the crowd below.
I scanned the audience and noticed Xie Yutong standing at the back. Her gaze was as cold as ice, fixed intently on me.
A faint smirk played at the corners of her mouth, hinting at mockery.
A chill ran down my spine; this woman was indeed more complex than I had imagined.
Her presence today was surely not just for that vial of virus samples.
Her true purpose, I feared...
"Wei Na..." a deep voice suddenly sounded behind me.
I spun around sharply to find Wei Zhong standing there.
He looked at me with a complex expression, hesitating to speak.
"Is something wrong, Vice Captain?" I asked.
After a moment of hesitation, he lowered his voice and said, "You... follow me. I have something important... to tell you."
A spark of interest ignited within me; I knew the main event was about to unfold.
It seemed that Qin Baye's undercover agent had been exposed, and my unexpected success in the "Laughing Defense Battle" had finally made Wei Zhong, that old fox, restless.
He wanted to win me over, or perhaps... use me.
I smiled, a hint of a sly grin appearing on my face.
"Sure thing, Vice Captain," I replied readily. "But... I hope what you have to tell me is truly... valuable... information!"
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