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I Killed My Husband
墨書 Inktalez
In the spring of 1989, when I had just turned 19, I met Liu Jun. He was five years older than me and worked at the brick factory in our village, which made him one of the few with a formal job.
The first time I saw him was under the big locust tree in our village. "Xue Ying, you are truly beautiful," he said, blushing as he held a handful of wildflowers. I was shy at that time, embarrassed by his compliment, and I lowered my head, unable to look him in the eye.
He came to find me every day, sometimes bringing snacks, other times fruit, and his words were particularly sweet. "Xue Ying, if you come with me, I promise to give you a good life." "Xue Ying, I will only ever love you in this lifetime." "Xue Ying, I will never let you suffer even a little bit."
At that time, I had never encountered such declarations. The young men in the village were rather dull and rarely spoke such charming words. My heart swelled with joy; I felt like the happiest woman in the world.
In the spring of 1990, we got married. On our wedding day, he stood before everyone in the village and declared, "I, Liu Jun, swear that I will ensure Xue Ying lives the best life possible. If anyone dares to bully her, I will be the first to oppose it!" The villagers praised him as a good man, and my mother felt at ease handing me over to him.
In the first few months of our marriage, he treated me very well. Every day after work, he would ask if I was tired and help me with chores. We lived sweetly together; I thought this was what happiness looked like.
However, everything changed one summer evening. That day, I had made his favorite dish—braised pork—and stir-fried some vegetables. When he came home from work, his expression was off; it seemed like something unpleasant had happened at the brick factory.
I carefully set the dishes on the table and said, "You must be tired; please eat." He picked up his chopsticks and took a bite of the braised pork but suddenly frowned.
"Why is this meat so salty?" His voice was tinged with impatience.
I quickly took a taste and found it was indeed a bit salty, but not excessively so.
I thought about explaining, "Maybe I added too much soy sauce; I'll be more careful next time..."
Before I could finish my sentence, a loud slap echoed as his hand struck my face.
I was completely stunned.
My face burned with pain, and my ears buzzed.
I covered my face, unable to believe what had just happened.
"What use are you if you can't even cook a meal properly?" he said harshly.
Tears streamed down my face, not from the pain but from the hurt and disbelief in my heart.
This man, who had whispered sweet nothings to me just last night, how could he hit me?
"How... how could you hit me?" I asked through my tears.
Seeing me cry seemed to make him realize something; his expression shifted.
"Xue Ying, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," he suddenly softened and reached out to hug me.
I took a step back, and his hand froze in mid-air.
"I got scolded by the supervisor at work today; I'm in a bad mood. Please don't take it to heart."
He began to explain, "I promise I will never hit you again."
Looking at his remorseful expression, my heart softened.
After all, we had only been married for a short time, and he had always treated me well.
I thought maybe it really was due to the stress from work.
"Then you mustn't do this again," I said through my sobs.
"I won't, I absolutely won't. I swear," he raised his hand, "If I ever hit you again, may I never find peace."
I believed his words.
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