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墨書 Inktalez
For the next month, he indeed became more considerate towards me, as if he were trying to make up for something. Every day, he would take the initiative to help me with chores and even buy my favorite snacks. That slap was just an accident, and our lives returned to normal.
Soon, I discovered that I was pregnant.
"Really? I'm going to be a dad?" He was as excited as a child, spinning me around in joy. I was happy too; with a child on the way, our family felt more complete.
During my pregnancy, he took great care of me, ensuring I didn’t have to lift anything heavy. In the spring of 1991, our Eldest Daughter was born. Looking at this tiny life, tears of joy streamed down my face. She resembled me so much—small and adorable.
"Our daughter is truly beautiful," he said softly as he held the baby, his eyes filled with tenderness. I thought we would be the happiest family of three in the world.
However, after the baby turned one month old, he began to change again. Perhaps it was due to financial pressure or lack of sleep; his temper grew increasingly volatile. Especially at night, whenever the baby cried, he would become irritable and shout in frustration.
During the day, if I made even a small mistake, he would lash out at me. The second time I was hit was when I accidentally wet his clothes while changing the baby's diaper.
"How can you be so stupid? You can't even change a diaper properly?" With a loud slap, it happened again. This time, I didn’t cry; I just stared at him numbly.
"Liu Jun, didn’t you say you wouldn’t hit me again?"
"I... I don’t want to either, but you really disappoint me." He began to apologize again. "Xue Ying, please forgive me this time; I truly know I was wrong."
I looked at our daughter in my arms; she was still peacefully sleeping, unaware of what her parents were going through. For the sake of the child, I chose to forgive him once more.
But ever since then, being beaten has become a regular occurrence.
Today it was because the food wasn’t hot enough, tomorrow it would be because the clothes weren’t washed properly, and the day after that, it would be because the child cried too loudly.
Every time after he hit me, he would apologize and swear that there wouldn’t be a next time. But the next time always came, and each time it was worse than the last.
When I was pregnant with our second child at two years old, Liu Jun’s face turned dark when he found out. “Another one? How are we going to afford two children?”
“It’s because you refused to wear protection,” I replied softly.
“Do you dare talk back?” He raised his hand as if to hit me.
“Daddy, don’t hit Mommy!” My eldest daughter suddenly ran over and tightly hugged my leg.
She was so small, yet she already knew she had to protect me.
Seeing our daughter, Liu Jun’s hand froze in mid-air before finally dropping down. But he glared at me fiercely and said, “I won’t hit you today, but for talking back, you won’t get any food. Otherwise, I’ll break your legs.”
From that day on, his beatings became even more reckless.
The moment that hurt me the most was on my eldest daughter’s third birthday. I made her a small cake with just eggs and flour.
She was so happy, dancing around and saying, “Mommy, the cake looks so beautiful!”
When Liu Jun came home and saw it, his face darkened. “With how poor we are, you still have the heart to make her a cake?”
“It’s her birthday…” I tried to explain.
“So what if it’s her birthday? Does that mean you can waste food?” He knocked the table over with one shove, sending the cake crashing to the ground in pieces.
My eldest daughter burst into tears. My heart ached terribly as I hurried to comfort her.
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