We are no longer in a marital relationship, yet I still have to live under the same roof as him. This ambiguous situation has made him even more reckless. In order to vent his frustrations about the divorce, he deliberately humiliates me in front of others.
One day, our neighbor, Sister Wang, came over to borrow something and happened to witness him berating me. "Liu Jun, you’re divorced now; just don’t make things difficult for Xue Ying," Sister Wang urged him.
Liu Jun sneered, "What am I making her do? She’s living off me and eating my food. What’s wrong with asking her to do a little work?"
"But..." Sister Wang wanted to say more. Liu Jun's voice grew louder, "Anyway, she’s a woman I’ve used. Being divorced doesn’t change that fact. She’ll always be tied to me; who would want a second-hand item?"
"Now that you’re divorced, it’s even better—just a free ride," he added.
Sister Wang glanced at me awkwardly before hurriedly leaving. The words "second-hand" and "free ride" stung with shame. I am a woman too, deserving of dignity. But in his eyes, I am merely something to be trampled upon at will.
Before the divorce, he at least had the excuse of "teaching his wife a lesson" when he hit me. After the divorce, his humiliation is purely for his own release, to prove that he can still control me.
That night, as I held my two daughters close, tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. "Mommy, what’s wrong?" my youngest asked with concern.
"It’s nothing; Mommy is just really tired," I replied with a forced smile.
I had completely lost hope. Would divorce not save me? Am I destined to be tormented by him for the rest of my life?
I began to wonder what I would do if one day I truly couldn’t take it anymore. Would I choose death? No! I absolutely refuse to let it end this way; I must fight back and make him pay for what he has done.
On June 16, 2004, the thought in my heart could no longer be shaken off.
I had prepared dinner early as usual, waiting for Liu Jun to come home. Our two daughters were already asleep; the eldest was 13 and the youngest was 10. Recently, they had taken to retreating to their rooms early, unwilling to witness the arguments between their parents.
It was nearly 11 PM when Liu Jun staggered through the door. As soon as he entered, I caught a strong whiff of alcohol. He was drunk.
Every time he got drunk, it was the moment I feared the most. The intoxicated version of him became more violent and unreasonable.
"Where's my food?" he demanded, glaring at me with bloodshot eyes.
"It's in the pot, warming up for you," I replied cautiously, quickly heading to the kitchen to serve his meal.
But suddenly, he grabbed my hair and yanked me back.
"You worthless woman!" His breath reeked of alcohol, making me feel nauseous. "I work hard outside, and this is how you treat me at home?"
"I... what did I do wrong?" I didn't understand what had set him off this time.
"What did you do wrong?" He sneered. "I come home and there's not a single soul in sight! Where are you hiding to slack off?"
I had clearly been waiting for him in the living room; I only went to the kitchen to heat up his food when I heard him come in. But a drunk person is unreasonable.
Slap! A loud slap echoed through the room.
My face instantly swelled, and my ears buzzed.
"Kneel!" he shouted.
I glanced at our daughters' room, terrified of waking them up. Reluctantly, I knelt down slowly.
"Say it louder: I was wrong!"
"I was wrong," I said softly.
"Louder! Let everyone in the village hear you!"
"I was wrong!" I raised my voice.
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