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With a single stroke, everything came to an end.
Li Xiaoling lay in a pool of blood, her eyes wide open, seemingly unable to believe until her last breath that this boy she had looked down upon truly dared to act.
Xiao Pan stood there in a daze, still gripping the bloodied knife in his hand. Blood splattered onto his face and clothes, the warm liquid suddenly jolting him back to reality.
"I... I killed someone?" Xiao Pan stared at Li Xiaoling's lifeless body, trembling all over.
"She's dead... really dead..." His legs went weak, nearly giving way beneath him.
The room was eerily silent, the stillness almost suffocating. The only sound was the ticking of the clock on the wall, each tick resonating like a hammer striking Xiao Pan's heart.
"What do I do? What do I do?" Panic set in; he was utterly terrified.
He had never imagined such a thing could happen. Just moments ago, when he had taken the knife, he only intended to scare Li Xiaoling, to make her apologize, to have her accept him again.
Xiao Pan dropped the knife and crouched beside Li Xiaoling. Her gaze had lost its luster; the face that once captivated him now appeared as pale as paper.
"Meiling... Meiling..." He reached out to touch her face, but as soon as his hand moved forward, it recoiled. "I didn't mean to... I really didn't mean to..."
But no matter how much he called out, Li Xiaoling would never respond again. Blood continued to flow from her wound, quickly pooling on the floor. The metallic scent filled the room, making Xiao Pan feel nauseous.
"I can't stay here! I have to leave!" He suddenly stood up, urgency coursing through him. "I need to get out of here!"
He glanced around, wanting to gather something, but he didn’t know what to take. Money? He had little to none. Clothes? The ones he wore were already stained with blood.
"Forget it; I don't need anything!" Xiao Pan rushed toward the door but stopped halfway.
He turned back to look at Li Xiaoling, an indescribable wave of emotion surging within him. This woman—the one he had loved for a year—had died by his own hand just like that.
Tears streamed down Xiao Pan's face. "Why did you have to say those things? Why did you have to force me?"
If Li Xiaoling had been scared just now, if she had begged for mercy, if she hadn't said, "Go ahead and cut me..."
But there are no "ifs" in this world.
Wiping his tears, Xiao Pan turned and dashed out of the room.
The door of the snack shop was unlocked, and he bolted outside.
It was a summer night, the air stifling and still.
The street was quiet, with only the occasional car passing by, its headlights illuminating Xiao Pan's blood-stained clothes even more starkly.
"I can't take the main road!" Xiao Pan realized this and quickly slipped into a nearby alley.
The alley was dark, with only a faint light from a distant streetlamp filtering through. Xiao Pan pressed against the wall, trying to make as little noise as possible.
He didn't know where to go; he just instinctively wanted to run away.
As he walked, regret began to creep in.
"Why did I kill her?" he asked himself in his mind. "She may have been heartless, but she didn't deserve to die!"
But what good was regret? Nothing could be undone now.
Xiao Pan thought of his parents back in the village, remembered their expectations for him. They had sacrificed everything to send him to school, hoping he would succeed in the city.
Now look at him—he had not only failed but had become a murderer.
"Mom, Dad, I'm sorry..." Xiao Pan cried as he walked, "Your son has been unfilial; I've brought shame upon you..."
After walking for about half an hour, Xiao Pan arrived at the entrance of Nan Shijiazhuang Village.
He felt he was far enough from the snack shop to be safe now.
A hint of dawn appeared in the east. Xiao Pan was exhausted; his clothes were soaked with sweat and blood, clinging tightly to him.
Just then, two figures appeared ahead of him.
They were two uniformed officers walking towards him.
"Stop!" one of them shouted. "Who are you?"
Xiao Pan wanted to turn and run, but his legs felt as heavy as lead; he couldn't move a step.
As the two figures approached, Xiao Pan realized they were police officers.
"Why are you covered in blood?" one of the officers asked, his hand already resting on the baton at his waist.
Xiao Pan opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out.
"Come with us," the other officer said, pulling out a pair of handcuffs.
Just like that, Xiao Pan was arrested. He did not resist, nor could he. From the moment he saw the police, he knew it was all over.
In the police car, Xiao Pan gazed out at the sky gradually brightening with dawn, his mind replaying Li Xiaoling's last words: "Go ahead and cut!"
Those three words had sealed the fate of two lives.
A twenty-year-old youth would now spend his best years behind bars. A forty-five-year-old woman would never again see the sun rise.
And all of this stemmed from a love affair that should never have begun.
Epilogue: On the morning of July 19, 2001, around 8 a.m., the Criminal Police Team of the Chang'an Branch of the Shijiazhuang City Public Security Bureau apprehended Xiao Pan, who was covered in blood during a routine patrol. Upon interrogation, Xiao Pan confessed to the entire incident of killing his boss, Li Xiaoling.
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