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墨書 Inktalez
"His music always reminds me of the love and hate I experienced in my youth. That intense emotion crashes over me like a surging tide, wave after wave. Each time the tide recedes, it signals an even greater wave returning. My life has been consumed by these fierce feelings, until I can no longer move."
Choi Ji-woo's voice came from behind her, accompanied by the dim and bright shadows on the screen, like dialogue in a movie, like the beginning of a prologue.
"I once deeply loved a woman. The first time I met her was in the summer, when the sky was an almost unbelievable blue, and the sunlight was as clear as an untouched maiden. Golden sunlight streamed through the dense leaves, illuminating her round, smooth face; that sacred glow left me in shock, unable to look away for a long time. I became infatuated with her just like that."
"She didn't fall in love with you?"
"No, I think she liked me. I quickly launched a fervent pursuit; at first, she always hesitated, but over time, she began to like me too. We watched movies together, listened to music together, and on weekends we drove out to the countryside to have fun."
"Was she your first love?"
"No, I met her when I was thirty-five. By then, I had already been married, lost my wife, and had a child."
"Was she very young?"
"No, she just looked very young. At that time, I thought she was just a girl in her twenties."
"Thought? Did she hide her true age?"
"Yes. When I learned all the truths, everything beautiful turned so dark and ugly."
"All the truths?"
"Yes. At that time, I was deeply infatuated with her and willing to give up everything for her. I longed for closeness with her. I loved kissing her warm, soft lips, caressing her delicate, smooth arms, and embracing her slender waist. Her crimson cheeks were tinged with a dreamy hue, and I plunged my tongue deeper into her mouth, releasing my passion and love in the heated entanglement. Her dazed gaze filled me with desire as I rubbed against her body forcefully, slipping my hand into her bra and exploring gently. But when I attempted to go further, she suddenly sat up, stopping me from advancing any further. She gazed at me like a timid fawn, her eyes so helpless. My heart became flustered as well. She adjusted her clothes and said to me, 'I'm sorry.' I smiled and held her tightly; perhaps she wasn't ready yet. I loved her so much that I was willing to control my desires with love, and I had enough patience to wait for her acceptance."
"Later, we were together for six months. One time, while watching a TV drama, the plot revolved around a 17-year-old girl who fell in love with a young boy, and they tasted forbidden fruit together. Although they took precautions, the girl still became pregnant. Due to her young age, she had to give the child up for adoption. When she saw this part, her eyes turned red, and tears streamed down her face. I teased her for being too easily moved by the story. Seeing her in such a sorrowful state made me feel pity; I held her tightly. Then I began to explore every part of her body. We had been together for so long that aside from the final act of union, we had experienced everything else together. Because I loved her deeply, I wanted to fully enter her body; it was not just a physical need but also a psychological requirement. For lovers, it symbolizes love itself; I hoped she would give herself completely to me as a sign of trust and acknowledgment."
"Did she refuse you again this time?"
"Yes, at first I thought she wasn't ready; her modesty made me love her even more. But later on, she continued to refuse me, leaving me restless and troubled. I couldn't understand why she kept rejecting me. Many times when I asked her the reason, she would redden her eyes as if she felt worse than I did."
Qiluo Ling remained silent for a moment before suddenly asking: "Mr. Cui, is it something from the past or an obstacle in her heart?"
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