I have nothing to say.
If I used to think that Xiao Minxing was acting impulsively, then now he should be discussing this issue with me quite calmly.
Such a situation has been rare throughout our entire marriage.
At that time, neither of us had anything to say, nor did either of us have the inclination to sit and listen to the other speak. We were completely unaware of each other's thoughts; it was either violence or repression, which was the norm in our married life.
Now, without the constraints of marriage, it seems both of us have relaxed, and we can actually talk about things, just like Xiao Minxing no longer hides his illness.
Since he can be honest, should I also bring up the past? Would that be better for him?
Thinking this, I softly said, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have lied to you before. At that time, I just really wanted to marry you, so... so I took advantage of you when you were drunk..."
Looking back now, that scene is indeed hard to speak of.
A woman taking advantage of a man when he is drunk and then forcing him to marry her afterward—this is usually something only rogue men do. How could it be me? Strictly speaking, I am now a female rogue; how could I be worthy of Xiao Minxing?
Divorce was the right choice. I used to resent him, thinking that after loving him for so many years, I deserved something in return and deserved his appreciation. But now that I think about it, if the roles were reversed and someone who didn't love me used the same method to make me marry him, I would probably hate him too.
Now I have truly calmed down and found the crux of the matter. I just hope that my apologies and guilt won't cause him any new harm.
Xiao Minxing was silent for a moment before slowly asking, "Why did you want to marry me?"
His question reminded me that he doesn't remember those little moments from our childhood at all. If he remembered even a little bit, he should know that I had already fallen for him back then. That's why after so many years, without needing any understanding, it felt so abrupt for us to become intimate.
"Probably because you look good and have money," I replied. This is the best reason and one that wouldn't raise suspicion.
Xiao Minxing asked lightly, "Is that so?"
"Yeah."
He didn't say anything more and remained silent for a few seconds before saying, "You should rest early."
I hung up the phone first, listening to the "beep beep" sound on the other end, but I felt an unprecedented calmness inside. It was as if life had returned to the past, back to the time when I secretly had a crush on him.
It was just a silent affection, unrelated to him, and it wouldn't bring him any trouble or harm. We existed in different spaces, and all I needed to do was think of him.
The next morning, after having breakfast, I decided to stop by the Library first. Ye Guang was there too, and we read together for a while. However, he seemed like he had something to say to me, so when we stepped out, we sat for a bit at the Library Entrance.
His gaze shyly glanced at my stomach before he slowly asked, "Qiu Yuhan, why did you move here?"
I honestly replied, "I got divorced, so I moved out to live alone."
To me, Ye Guang was like a big kid, so there was no need to hide anything from him. Besides, it wasn't something shameful; many people are getting divorced nowadays. Being able to talk about it easily at least showed that I had moved on.
However, he looked a bit different from what I imagined. His expression seemed tense as he stuttered and asked, "But didn't you say you already have a baby?"
"Yeah, that has nothing to do with the divorce."
Ye Guang hesitated for a long time; his face turned purple, and he lowered his head almost ninety degrees. His voice became hesitant and stammering.
This surprised me, and I quickly asked, "What's wrong? Are you okay? Should I have your family take you home?"
I reached out to call over the person waiting by the car when Ye Guang suddenly blurted out, "Qiu Yuhan, can I take care of you from now on?"
I was stunned and couldn't find a single word to respond after staring at him for a while.
Ye Guang's face turned as red as a sunset; even his originally fair neck turned red. Yet he insisted on looking into my eyes, eagerly waiting for my reply.
"Ye Guang, um... did you misunderstand?" I cautiously asked.
He immediately replied, "You got divorced; I don't have a wife either. I know I'm not as clever as others, but Qiu Yuhan, I'll do my best not to let you suffer."
I truly didn't expect Ye Guang to say such things. Moreover, I had never noticed his feelings; I always thought of him as a child who relied on friends and completely overlooked that he was now a man—a real man.
Putting aside everything from before, just based on his current behavior, he didn't seem like someone with intellectual issues; he was just more honest than most men. And for a divorced woman like me, that should be exactly what I needed.
But I'm different; I didn't want to hurt him.
If I didn't treat him like a normal man, it would be too damaging for him. However, since this thought had emerged in my mind, I needed to cut it off quickly; otherwise, the consequences could be very serious.
Thinking of this, I disregarded Ye Guang's pitiful gaze and said with a tone ten times more determined than his, "Even though I am divorced, I still love him, and we have a child together. For this reason, I will never accept anyone else for the rest of my life."
Ye Guang's eyelids instantly drooped, and the flush on his face gradually faded to white.
Fearing that something else might happen, I directly waved for the man who was following him to come over.
"He seems a bit unwell; you should take him home. It would be best to inform his parents and spend more time with him."
The man agreed and reached out to pull Ye Guang along. I also stood up and walked home without even looking at him.
Some hopes may not be worth having; once they arise, they not only fail to bring benefits but can also cause harm.
Ye Guang is still very innocent. I don't know when he started to have such feelings for me. Even in the past, he knew I had a husband, and now he knows I have a child, yet he still says such things. This shows he still has a child's heart and hasn't considered the consequences at all.
But this outcome has already shocked me too much. I became aware of his family background during that funeral; it is not something someone like me can provoke. If his parents knew about this, I wonder what they would think?
Would they believe their son fell in love with a divorced woman?
In this matter, I admit I am somewhat petty because even I can't believe it myself. In the end, I comforted myself by thinking that perhaps he is just kind-hearted and feels sorry for me.
Perhaps he thinks that since I am divorced and my life is harder, a desire to protect me has arisen in his little heart, which has nothing to do with love at all.
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