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墨書 Inktalez
After observing him for a while, Xiao Minxing seemed to notice me and suddenly turned around to look at me directly.
His brow was slightly furrowed, but his voice was calm and indifferent as he asked, "Why are you standing there crying?"
I hurriedly raised my hand to wipe my face, only to realize that I had unknowingly been in tears.
It was really frustrating; how did I end up crying while thinking? I didn't want to cry; I was just a bit moved by comparing the past and the present.
As I turned to walk outside, I was suddenly wrapped in a pair of arms around my waist.
Xiao Minxing stood behind me, his grip neither too tight nor too loose, his hands resting on my protruding belly. His voice was deep and hoarse: "I don't believe this is real either, not since the day I saw you again."
I wanted to turn around to look at him, but he held my body in place, resting his chin on my shoulder and rubbing his cheek against my face.
It felt warm and slightly prickly, which was a bit itchy.
Xiao Minxing embraced me from behind, moving from the Study Room into the Bedroom. His voice was soft but could not hide his urgency: "Can we do it once? I promise to be gentle."
His words made me feel flushed all over, and I didn't know how to respond, desperately lowering my head.
He continued speaking: "I've checked; it's still safe at this time. As long as we adjust our positions properly, nothing will happen. It might even help the baby grow."
Could it? I didn't know, but at that moment, I believed him and let him have his way with me.
Perhaps having psychologically accepted this way of his made it feel even more intense than before, and I became more reliant on him. It wasn't until we both lay breathless on the bed that Xiao Minxing let out a long sigh and said, "It really is different."
I leaned against him and mumbled, "What's different?"
He lifted my face with his finger, gazing at me for a long time before saying, "Did you used to particularly dislike doing this with me?"
I wanted to hide my face again, but his finger was strong enough to keep me still. I could only lower my eyelids, but the burning sensation on my face would probably not escape his notice.
"Not really; I was just a bit scared of you back then," I mumbled.
Xiao Minxing suddenly laughed, looking quite interested as he asked, "Really? How come I feel like you were just pretending to be scared while actually not taking me seriously at all?"
"I didn't..." I hurried to defend myself, but when I looked up, I saw him smiling brightly.
I was stunned.
How long had it been since I had seen such a smile? Even considering the times we spent together in childhood, I had rarely seen it. It seemed that his life held more unhappiness and pressure than mine. Whenever he was with me, he always assured me that he would take good care of me in the future, but at that time, he had no ability to do so, and I never really placed much hope in him.
This must have been the biggest blow to him, which is why I rarely saw him laugh heartily. He was clearly a sunny boy, yet his face was always shrouded in gloom.
Now, he was right in front of me, wearing such a smile; it felt so unreal.
I couldn't help but reach out to touch his face, moving my hand slowly from the corner of his mouth to his cheek, nose, and eyes. Every part of him was so beautiful and made me like him even more.
Xiao Minxing said rather unromantically, "If you've touched enough, let's talk about what's going on; otherwise, I'm going to start touching back."
"Ah..." I gasped as my lips were gently pressed by him. The warm touch felt like fireworks bursting forth—brilliant and impossible to hide.
All the memories of us were shared on this night as we embraced in bed, piece by piece.
Xiao Minxing held me tightly without moving or interrupting. Many times I thought he had fallen asleep, but every time I looked up at him, he would gaze back at me deeply, as if waiting for more to come.
"My adoptive parents had another child, so I became unnecessary. They sent me back to the orphanage. But by then I was older and didn't feel the panic I had when I first entered," I said with a sense of relief.
Xiao Minxing then asked softly, "Why didn't you tell me back then? You know..."
At that moment, I couldn't bear to look at him anymore. I could clearly feel his muscles tense up; even his breathing became slightly hurried as if he were trying hard to control something.
"It wasn't that I didn't want to tell you; it was just that they came too suddenly and didn't inform me beforehand. That morning when I woke up, I found myself in a car with two men I didn't know. When I tried to reason with them, they looked fierce. They left right after dropping me off at my destination."
At this point, I hurriedly added, "I wrote you a letter, but there was no response. I thought you had abandoned me too."
Xiao Minxing smiled bitterly and said after a long pause, "I got sick and underwent treatment for a long time. Later on, we moved."
His answer was brief but clearly concealed many thoughts and sorrows within his words.
I sat up slightly and asked him, "Can you tell me what exactly you were sick with? I..."
I couldn't continue because he had mentioned many times that his illness stemmed from me. Yet I always resisted accepting it; asking again would only add to the pain.
However, this time Xiao Minxing did not avoid it. He looked at me and said, "Probably like you, thinking that the whole world has abandoned me, even my only friend doesn't want me anymore, so I feel hopeless about life."
He spoke with difficulty, as if the memories of the past were causing him great pain. Although everything in the present had passed, the hurt still lingered.
I couldn't bear it any longer and gently touched his arm, saying, "It's okay. If you're sad, you don't have to talk about it. I just want you to be well."
Xiao Minxing smiled slightly and then asked me in a different tone, "Is it true that every time I say that my illness is caused by you, you feel regret?"
I quickly nodded and said, "Yes, I really want you to get better, but there's nothing I can do."
Xiao Minxing shook his head lightly and said, "You probably can't imagine that this is my true punishment for you, right?"
I didn't quite understand this statement. I wanted to believe everything he said but felt like something was off; perhaps there was a contradiction that I hadn't unraveled yet.
He turned over on his side, lying back with his hands under his head, staring at the ceiling above.
After a long time, just when I was about to fall asleep, I heard his voice again.
"After you left, even the sky changed color; it turned gray. I started getting sick—first a fever, then fainting. This has something to do with my usual health; it wasn't very good to begin with."
"Later on, I was rescued in the Hospital, but then my mental state also deteriorated."
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