Zhong Kui's Diary
“Zheng Nan, how much are you planning to give as a red envelope for Lingfeng and Li Xinyan's wedding?” Kong Xuan chewed on the peanuts in his mouth, making a crunching sound.
“I'll give around eight thousand or so,” I replied with a smile. “Anyway, he won't care whether it's more or less.”
“That’s good then, let’s make it eight thousand eight hundred eighty-eight for good luck.” Kong Xuan downed the white liquor in his cup with a clink and smacked his lips. “Have you thought of the programs for the wedding night?”
“Don’t worry, there will be eighteen programs, enough to keep Lingfeng and Li Xinyan entertained until dawn.” I chuckled, raising my beer to Fatty in a toast and downing it in one go.
This was our third night back from Moon City, still at some barbecue stall, with the same people: me, Fatty, and Kong Xuan. I was drinking beer while Kong Xuan ordered a bottle of strong liquor for himself. This guy must be suffering from kidney deficiency already.
We were discussing Lingfeng and Li Xinyan's wedding, which was being planned meticulously. We didn’t have to worry about the wedding ceremony; that was all taken care of by the Supervisor (Supervisor is a local dialect term in Star City meaning someone who oversees everything, akin to a supervisor role). Our group of friends only needed to find ways to have fun.
Initially, Lingfeng asked me to be the best man and Qingcheng to be the maid of honor. However, they later realized that Qingcheng was too tall and would overshadow Li Xinyan in photos. So they changed the maid of honor to Aijia Yu while I remained as the best man. As for Kong Xuan, with his scruffy beard and middle-aged look, there was no way he could be the best man.
The plan was to go to Li Xinyan's hometown to pick her up. Li Xinyan's hometown is in Shacheng, which takes about four to five hours to drive from Star City. We would stay there overnight and then set off early the next morning to return to Star City’s Lily Hotel for the wedding ceremony.
I originally suggested that Lingfeng could book a room at a big hotel in Star City for the bride Li Xinyan as a formality, but Lingfeng insisted on going to Li Xinyan's hometown for the wedding out of respect for her family. We didn’t think much of it, but Li Xinyan was deeply moved.
Fatty and Kong Xuan asked me again about the details of the wedding night programs, laughing heartily.
“Brother Xuan, during the wedding, the maid of honor is supposed to be taken advantage of,” Fatty teased with a wink at Kong Xuan.
“How could that be? It would be quite strange if anyone could manage that,” Kong Xuan replied nonchalantly while drinking and eating meat. “Even if it were me, if I put my hand on her while sleeping at night, she would reflexively hit me a few times. Lucky for me; anyone else would have been poked to death by her. You all know how strong her fingers are.”
Both Fatty and I had experienced Aijia Yu's Kung Fu firsthand and shivered at his words. I raised my glass: “It’s not easy for you, Brother Xuan; you must have holes all over your body by now.”
"Cut it out, I'm a Taoist master, how could I be easily poked? I'll give myself a Holy Shield, which can automatically defend against one physical attack within six hours!" Kong Xuan boasted shamelessly.
The three of them laughed and joked, and finally called the Supervisor to confirm the departure time for tomorrow morning before heading home.
The barbecue stall wasn't far from my house, so I didn't take a taxi. After walking for about seven or eight minutes, I arrived downstairs. Just as I was about to go upstairs, I noticed Lingfeng waving at me under the Phoenix Tree in front of my door.
I was a bit surprised. Was there something he couldn't just call me about? What did it mean to wait at my door? Did he want me to go for Health Treatment?
I walked over and smiled, asking him, "What are you sneaking around for? You’re not thinking of having a singles night, are you? Going to Jin Li Lai or Imperial Club?"
Lingfeng's expression seemed off; he forced a smile and pointed to a nearby SUV. "Get in the car first."
I walked over and opened the door. Inside sat someone I couldn't help but gasp at quietly: "Oh? What are you doing here?"
No wonder I was surprised; the person in the car was Lou Wei, the former leader of the Dragon Group and the current director of the Treasure Office.
"Come on, don't be so shocked. I'm here to attend Lingfeng's wedding too!" Lou Wei greeted me with a smile as he beckoned me to get in.
You're from the Treasure Office, not the Family Planning Bureau. What does Lingfeng's wedding have to do with you? I know you're quite free, but surely you’re not so free that you need to handle someone else's wedding just to pass the time? Wouldn't it be better to drink some tea and play a few rounds of landlord instead?
Being with Lou Wei didn’t lead to any concrete plans; we merely discussed what matters needed attention. In the end, we happily decided that Lou Wei would handle things on this side of Star City while my friends and I would follow Lingfeng to pick up the bride and ensure safety along the way.
"Zheng Nan, I'm going to trouble you next!" After getting out of the car, Lingfeng said this without any context.
"Why would you say that? You should be the one troubling me!" I laughed heartily, patting Lingfeng on the shoulder. "Look at you; even if you're getting married, there's no need to be this happy about it!"
"Hehe, then I'll count on you!"
On the second morning, a group of us set off in nine beautifully arranged cars. The lead vehicle was a domestically produced Hongqi. I'm not very knowledgeable about cars, but I knew that Lingfeng's 'Black Big and Sturdy' ride cost over six million. This model is quite prestigious; during the National Day Military Parade, national leaders are seen riding in this type of car.
The other eight vehicles were all SUVs of various models, but there were no Japanese cars. In Lingfeng's words, Japanese cars are flimsy and unsafe to ride in.
Lingfeng was in the lead car, while Fatty, Kong Xuan, and I were in the second vehicle. Qingcheng and An Ran sat in the back, while Li Xinyan and Aijia Yu had already arrived at Shacheng ahead of us.
Shacheng is located in a mountainous area. Due to the country's development of infrastructure and road construction, the original provincial and county roads have gradually been replaced by highways. However, in General Mountain, we could only take the original mountain roads.
General Mountain has five ridges, each one perilous. The only winding mountain road was built with blood and lives by engineers back in the 1960s. This mountain road has a special name called Eighteen Bends, meaning you have to make eighteen turns to climb up each ridge of General Mountain.
Of course, if you don't want to take General Mountain, you can detour through Qingjiang County. Although it takes a bit longer, the road is a first-class highway.
Looking out at the cliffs through the car window, both Fatty and I turned pale. Even the driver seemed uneasy, repeatedly exclaiming, "Damn! Damn! Damn! It has been raining heavily lately; will there be landslides here? What about mudslides?"
I thought to myself, how can this driver speak like that? Is he cursing himself?
Only Kong Xuan beside me remained unfazed, humming 'The Mountain Road Has Eighteen Bends' and occasionally pointing out some local customs and scenery outside the window.
"Look! Look!" Kong Xuan exclaimed, pointing down at the cliff.
"What is it?" I followed his finger but saw nothing but lush trees.
"You can't see it?" Kong Xuan sighed regretfully. "There’s an ancient temple down there; I can't remember its name. My master brought me here for an investigation once."
"There's a temple down there?" I scoffed. "The monks there must be starving; who would come to this desolate place to burn incense? What did your master bring you here to investigate? A graveyard?"
Kong Xuan said seriously, "At that time, my master wanted to acquire it and then open a branch..."
Amidst my and Fatty's laughter and banter, the off-road vehicle finally crossed the third mountain ridge.
...
Upon arriving at Shacheng, it was naturally a different kind of busy. Fortunately, Li Xinyan's family had some influence in Shacheng, managing to secure half a hotel in the city center to accommodate us. It’s worth noting that this was during the peak season of Christmas and New Year, and every hotel lobby was filled with people waiting to check in for various reasons.
Li Xinyan's home was located near the hotel in the Purple Garden District. The district was considered a wealthy area in Shacheng, with housing prices already exceeding eight thousand, while Shacheng was merely a prefecture-level city.
Since I had to be a groomsman, I needed to maintain my chastity for the night. Therefore, I could only share a room with Fatty. After dinner, Fatty lazily took his clothes into the bathroom, and soon the sound of a shower could be heard. I lay down; after sitting in the car for four hours, especially on the bumpy stretch through General Mountain, I was quite tired and wanted to sleep quickly since we had to wake up early tomorrow.
Just as I was feeling a bit confused, a sudden scream came from the bathroom. Instinctively, I jumped up and rushed to the bathroom door, loudly asking what was wrong.
Fatty stood in front of the sink wearing only his underwear, a toothbrush in his mouth. He turned to look at me and pointed at the bathroom mirror, mumbling, "Ghost Brother, look! You have to see this!"
I followed Fatty's finger to look into the mirror; all I saw was Fatty's body covered in fat—nothing else. Confused, I asked, "Fatty, what do you want me to see?"
"Can't you see it?" Fatty spat out the toothbrush and shouted.
"You need to tell me what I'm supposed to see!" I was getting a bit annoyed; if it weren't for Fatty's expression not seeming like he was joking around, I would have already knocked him out. What was there to see in a bare mirror?
Seeing my reaction, Fatty became even more agitated and yelled, "You really can't see it? You really can't see it? I'm pointing it out for you..."
He turned around as if trying to show me but suddenly stopped short. After a moment of silence, he shouted even louder, "Hey! Where did that face go? Damn it, where did the face go?"
I couldn't hold back any longer; I reached out and slapped Fatty on the head angrily and said, "What face are you talking about? Calm down and talk to me."
Fatty paused for a moment, reached out to scoop some water from the faucet, and splashed it on his face haphazardly three or four times. After grabbing a towel to wipe his face, he shook his head and said, “Ghost Brother, I’m calm now. Just now, there was a pale face in the mirror that smiled at me while I was brushing my teeth!”
“Are you sure you saw it clearly?” My question was not meant to doubt Fatty, but rather because the reflections in the mirror could be quite confusing. The lighting or steam could create illusions, and some mirrors are not very flat, causing the reflections to distort and appear strange.
Fatty swore that he had seen it clearly and distinctly.
After thinking for a moment, I decided to ask Kong Xuan. I told Fatty to change his clothes, then walked next door and knocked on Kong Xuan's door. Kong Xuan shared a room with Lingfeng, which was somewhat intended to protect Lingfeng.
After a few knocks, Kong Xuan opened the door. Seeing us, he smiled and said, “What’s up? Want to come over for some card games?”
“Card games? Where’s Lingfeng?”
“He just went in to take a shower. Let’s play a couple of rounds of Landlord while we wait!” Kong Xuan seemed a bit bored and stepped aside to invite us in.
Just as I was about to bring up what happened earlier with Kong Xuan, we heard Lingfeng exclaim from the bathroom.
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