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墨書 Inktalez
Zhong Kui's Diary
Kong Xuan once asked me how I came to know someone as sleazy as Fatty.
At that time, I hypocritically replied that we met during a citywide middle school essay competition, admiring each other's literary talent. Kong Xuan disdainfully scoffed a few times and didn't pursue the question further.
In reality, my acquaintance with Fatty was due to a Disc from Teacher Wu.
Long ago, before Zhen Shuai rose to prominence and before Star City had its so-called Computer City, we could only seek knowledge from bookstores. Back then, bookstores often doubled as video rental shops. As an idealistic and principled young man who was particularly devoted in matters of the heart, I naturally preferred those deeply meaningful romance films—yes, the kind that featured only two main characters throughout.
It was a late autumn afternoon when I, like a cute little rabbit, hopped to the bookstore. The owner had just told me that Teacher Wu had a new film out... On my way, everything felt so blue; the clouds were so white, and the sun playfully peeked in and out of them in a shallow and deep manner.
When I arrived at the bookstore, I found a shifty-eyed Fatty arguing with the owner. They were each gripping one side of a Disc, desperately trying to wrest it from each other. Upon seeing me, the owner was overjoyed and loudly informed Fatty that this Disc was reserved for me.
However, Fatty scoffed at this, insisting that money was everything and he would buy the Disc at double the price. The owner’s words meant nothing to him; he refused to back down. In a fit of anger, we ended up fighting. Amidst our brawl, someone exclaimed not to damage the Disc... How about we watch it together instead?
And so we walked away arm in arm, both excited, leaving the bewildered bookstore owner behind.
Indeed, this is how I came to know Fatty. At least one thing I didn’t lie about to Kong Xuan: we truly recognized each other through mutual admiration.
……
Watching Fatty pull out that Disc, which carried our youthful memories from the bookshelf, I couldn't help but feel nostalgic. I wanted to revisit it, but Fatty no longer had a DVD player at home; nowadays everyone uses computers for watching films—who still uses a DVD player?
"How about we go to Kong Xuan's house? I remember he has a DVD Player in his guest room specifically for playing Taoist health videos for those old men who come to pay respects. A single Disc costs 998; it's such a rip-off," Fatty joked.
"Forget it; I'm too lazy to go," I yawned and stretched. "It's so hot outside; going out is really exhausting."
"What are you doing here at my house?" Fatty glanced sideways toward the bedroom and lowered his voice, "An Ran is heavily pregnant!"
"What's wrong?" I looked at Fatty in confusion. "It's precisely because An Ran is pregnant that my mom asked me to bring her a bowl of chilled mung bean soup."
"Come on, don't you understand what I mean? It's much better now; I'm not even allowed to touch her. I'm holding back!" Fatty squinted at me.
"What do you want to do?" I looked at Fatty with disdain.
"Just go out and have some fun," Fatty said with a low laugh.
I couldn't help but point at Fatty, "You're just a breeding pig!"
"Wife, I'm going out with Ghost Brother for a bit," Fatty called out loudly without waiting for my response. "There's a ghost possession issue that urgently needs our attention."
"Go ahead," came An Ran's languid voice from the direction of the bedroom. It was indeed too hot, and knowing that Fatty had ulterior motives, An Ran couldn't be bothered to argue.
Once downstairs, seeing the blazing sun outside, I couldn't help but pout. "You go to the Imperial Club by yourself; I'm too lazy to go out in this heat."
"What do you want to go to the Imperial Club for?" Fatty asked with an embarrassed smile.
"Hey, don't you have a membership there?" I asked in surprise.
"I have nothing on me except a set of keys and a phone; my Spatial Bag was confiscated and left at home. Otherwise, how could An Ran let me come out so easily?" Fatty chuckled. "Ghost Brother, considering I've worked for you for so many years, treat me to something."
I couldn't help but laugh. "So where do you plan to go? How much do you need?"
"Money can ruin relationships. Just help me book a room at the Seven Chain Hotel," Fatty said with a sheepish smile.
"Dude, you have it all figured out. So from now on, if anyone checks the hotel records, it will be under my name, right?" I pointed at Fatty and joked.
"Hey, I have my ID," Fatty replied confidently.
"Alright, even if I book a room for you, what about your girl?" I asked, puzzled.
"You don't know? Nowadays, all you have to do is shake your WeChat, and you'll have plenty of girls wanting to hook up with you," Fatty said excitedly.
"Come on, it can't be that easy," I shook my head in disbelief.
"Don't believe me? I'll show you," Fatty said, feeling insulted. He took out his phone, opened WeChat, shook it vigorously a couple of times, and then a short and pleasant tune played. He held the phone up in front of me.
"Brother Thick and Long? The nickname of this girl you found is quite special," I chuckled in surprise.
Fatty quickly snatched the phone back to check it and laughed awkwardly, "My bad, my bad. Let’s try again."
After another couple of shakes and some music, Fatty glanced at the screen before handing the phone to me again.
I looked down to see a girl named Faint. Her profile picture was a selfie taken at a forty-five-degree angle. From this angle, not only could you see her big eyes and pouting lips, but also her deep cleavage.
"This girl looks good. Are you sure she would want to... you know? Hook up?" I was increasingly skeptical.
"You just don't get it. WeChat's shake feature is known as the hookup tool; those who aren't interested won't participate," Fatty said as he took the phone back and happily started chatting with the girl.
"About that thing from earlier," Fatty chuckled, "It's settled. Let's meet at the entrance of Violet Western Restaurant and grab a bite."
"Alright, wish you happiness! I'll message you after I book the room," I said with a smile, preparing to leave.
"Hey, Ghost Brother, you have to come with me. Otherwise, how am I supposed to pay the bill?" Fatty suddenly grabbed my arm.
"Damn it, you want me to pay for the room and now for dinner too? Should I help you hold her down when you're having fun with the girl later?" I joked.
In the end, I still went with Fatty to Violet Western Restaurant since I hadn't had lunch yet.
Violet Western Restaurant was not far from Fatty's place, located in a back alley. I had to admit, this location was quite remote, and the business probably wasn't great. It seemed that Faint didn't care much about food.
From a distance, I saw a girl in a shirt and denim shorts standing in the shade at the restaurant entrance, constantly glancing towards the road. When she spotted Fatty and me approaching, she frowned slightly but then smiled and called out, "Which one of you is Flying Water Falls Three Thousand Times?"
Flying Water Falls Three Thousand Times was Fatty's WeChat nickname. Lingfeng sounded philosophical while Kong Xuan was rather vulgar; opinions varied on these names, so there was no need for debate.
Fatty grinned innocently, "That's me! You must be Faint?"
The girl didn't look much like her WeChat profile picture; she wasn't as pale and her cleavage wasn't as pronounced as in the photo. She probably edited it with Meitu Xiuxiu. Hearing Fatty's words, she smiled brightly, "Yes, that's me! This big brother looks like a boss with that big belly."
"Not a boss, not a boss!" Fatty said humbly, intentionally pulling out his keys. One of them was an Audi key he bought at a street stall for twenty bucks; it even came with a key for an Alto.
Faint laughed softly, "What should I call you?"
Fatty cleared his throat and pretended to be serious as he replied, "Call me Ding Zong... uh, just call me Brother Ding. This is my financial advisor... I mean, my friend; you can call him Brother Zhong."
"Faint" smiled and called out to me, then wrapped her arm around "Fatty": "Where are we going later?"
"We're going to Greater China," "Fatty" replied nonchalantly, as if he went there often. The Great China Hotel is one of the most upscale hotels in Star City, with the cheapest rooms starting at over a thousand yuan.
"That sounds great," "Faint" said with a look of longing.
"Fatty" seemed to remember something and scratched his head: "But I have a meeting later, so let's just find a Seven Hotel nearby."
"That's fine!" "Faint" didn't mind at all.
I was unsure whether to laugh or cry; with such poor acting skills, "Fatty" could still fool this girl completely. What is wrong with the world? Are girls too naive, or have I fallen behind?
"How about we grab something to eat first?" "Fatty" winked at me proudly.
"Sure! Let's go to Construction Road; the food there is cheap," "Faint" immediately suggested.
"Construction Road? Isn't that too far?" "Fatty" looked surprised and pointed at Violet Western Restaurant: "Can't we just eat there?"
"No way, that place is really expensive," "Faint" shook "Fatty's" arm. "A meal there costs several hundred!"
"It's no big deal," "Fatty" laughed heartily. "Let's just eat here."
I couldn't help but chuckle; this "Faint" really was something. Nowadays, aside from street stalls, eating anywhere would cost several hundred—this girl is quite practical.
As we walked in, the restaurant was indeed very quiet, with not a single person inside. We randomly found a place to sit down and picked up the menu. The prices on the menu were indeed slightly higher than outside, but just slightly. A steak that costs 88 yuan elsewhere was 98 yuan here—that was all.
After ordering, the waiter cheerfully asked, "Would you like some rice?"
"Of course," Fatty replied with a smile. "I still have work to do later; I need my energy."
Faint playfully tapped Fatty's arm and said, "Brother Ding, no flirting."
The waiter seemed accustomed to such banter and ignored their playful exchange, simply asking, "Our rice is quite exquisite; how many bowls would you like?"
"How exquisite?" I couldn't help but ask.
"About this big," the waiter said, gesturing with both hands to form a large circle. "It's flat-bottomed, so one bowl probably only holds a couple of bites."
I paused for a moment before laughing and saying, "Then let's start with ten bowls; we can order more if needed."
The waiter agreed with a smile and went to fetch the food. Before long, the dishes arrived in a steady stream. The food was average in taste, but the rice bowls were indeed very delicate. Fatty and I managed to eat twenty bowls between us, just enough to feel full, while even Faint had six bowls. This showed just how small the bowls were. However, when I picked at my teeth with a toothpick, I caught a glimpse of an odd expression in Faint's eyes—one that seemed almost sympathetic.
"Waiter, the bill please." I snapped my fingers.
"That will be twenty-three thousand four hundred eighty-eight. Just give me twenty-three thousand four hundred after rounding down," the waiter said with a smile as he approached.
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