Zhong Kui's Diary
I described the appearance of the Ruyi Jingu Bang, and Wen Jianru and Zhuo Wei suddenly had strange expressions on their faces.
Seeing their expressions, my heart skipped a beat. Could it be that the Ruyi Jingu Bang is really the Sea Stabilizing Needle, their family treasure?
After a while, Zhuo Wei looked at me with a half-smile and said, "So, the Ruyi Jingu Bang you were looking for..."
Just as I was about to continue, Wen Jianru raised a hand to stop Zhuo Wei and spoke up, "Mr. Zhong, you must know that the Ruyi Jingu Bang is a valuable item."
"Yes, of course," I nodded, thinking to myself about what I should do if the Dragon King didn't intend to give it to me. Should I resort to theft or trickery?
"Although you helped me look for the Dragon Palace Descendant..." Wen Jianru paused here, seemingly a bit embarrassed, and cleared his throat.
My heart sank; it seemed the Dragon King was preparing to refuse me. Every Chinese person knows that when someone says "although," there is definitely a "but" following it.
Sure enough, Wen Jianru continued, "But this Ruyi Jingu Bang is just too important..."
I felt frustrated and nodded with a frown: "It seems I can only let it go." My mind was racing with thoughts; since you won't give it to me, then I'll steal it. If I'm going to steal it, where should I start?
Wen Jianru cleared his throat again: "Mr. Zhong, I haven't finished speaking. Actually, it's not impossible for you to obtain the Ruyi Jingu Bang; however, there is a test involved."
Upon hearing that I could get the Ruyi Jingu Bang without stealing it, I couldn't help but feel delighted: "What kind of test?"
"You just need to help us defeat the Turtle Chancellor, and you can take the Ruyi Jingu Bang!" Wen Jianru said slowly.
"Turtle Chancellor? Come on, Dragon King! You can't be serious; are you watching too much Journey to the West? The Turtle Chancellor has appeared now." I was somewhat irritated; what kind of nonsense was this? Were they teasing me? Or did my forehead have 'fool' written on it?
"Why can you accept the Dragon King but not the Turtle Chancellor?" Wen Jianru shook his head with a wry smile: "There's a saying that goes 'seeing is believing.' Let's watch the video. Zhuo Wei, turn on the computer."
"Damn! Are you sure you're not joking with me?" I finally couldn't hold back and cursed: "At this depth of ten thousand meters underwater, how can you still use a computer? Are you using Wi-Fi or is there an underwater fiber optic cable running beneath your feet that you've secretly tapped into?"
Zhuo Wei rolled his eyes at me and said, "Zheng Nan, that's not very interesting. Our boss just turned on the computer and didn't connect to the internet; we're just watching a video. Can't we use it offline?"
Uh, if it's just looking at pictures or videos, then it really doesn't require an internet connection.
Zhuo Wei pulled out a laptop from under the Coffee Table, powered it on, clicked on the D drive, found a folder labeled 'Learning Files,' and then opened a video in a folder titled 'Domestic Action Film.'
The video showed some underwater footage. It was clear that this video was likely filmed by someone from the Dragon Palace; the quality was poor, with the camera shaking constantly, and the image was not very clear.
Despite that, I could still make out a rough scene: somewhere at the bottom of the sea, there was a large pit inhabited by a gigantic Giant Turtle. This Giant Turtle was unlike any ordinary turtle... uh, unlike any regular turtle. It occasionally stood up on its hind legs inside the pit, punching and kicking as if it were very agitated. Strangely enough, there seemed to be a transparent glass covering above the Big Pit, preventing the Giant Turtle from escaping.
"Is this the Turtle Chancellor?" I pointed at the screen and asked in confusion, "What are you showing me this for? To see if its Kung Fu is impressive?"
"Don't rush; keep watching!" Zhuo Wei said with a wry smile.
I fell silent and continued watching. When I saw the Giant Turtle sleeping, Zhuo Wei suddenly said, "Pay attention; look at the shell on its back!"
Upon hearing this, I instinctively focused and widened my eyes. As the large Giant Turtle slept, I noticed a faint golden Bagua symbol shimmering on its shell.
"Damn, your Turtle Chancellor isn't a pet raised by the Supreme Old Lord, is it?" I pointed at that Bagua symbol in astonishment.
Wen Jianru shook his head slowly and said, "Twenty-three years ago, the Turtle Chancellor went for a walk by the sea. For some unknown reason, he fell into someone else's trap. After returning, he went into a frenzy and started frantically searching for stick-like objects underwater... After I gave him a good beating, he returned to normal. But it didn't last long; six months later, he started acting up again. This repeated every six months until we finally locked him in the deep-sea dragon cave."
I frowned and said, "If beating him up can restore him to normal, then there's no need to keep him locked up in some dragon cave."
"You don't understand!" Zhuo Wei licked his lips beside me. "The later it gets, the more intense the Turtle Chancellor's episodes become. Three years ago, even when I teamed up with our boss to deal with him, it was still quite challenging. That's why we decided to imprison him in the dragon cave."
I nodded; it was clear that Wen Jianru and Zhuo Wei were quite sentimental about this matter. Otherwise, they would have killed this Giant Turtle over twenty years ago.
"So what do you mean?" I asked with a frown.
"You just need to beat him up once; once he's back to normal, he'll naturally give you the Ruyi Jingu Bang," Wen Jianru said slowly.
Hearing his tone, it seemed that in order for me to obtain the Ruyi Jingu Bang, I needed the Turtle Chancellor's approval. I nodded and said, "Alright, isn't it just about giving him a beating? I can agree to that request."
Wen Jianru laughed heartily, "Then thank you in advance, Zhuo Wei. Pass the word down for a banquet, the highest standard and most luxurious kind!"
Zhuo Wei smiled and agreed. He extended his right hand, curling his thumb and index finger into a ring, then blew a sharp whistle. Soon after, a mermaid rushed over. Zhuo Wei whispered a few words in his ear, and the mermaid looked at me with surprise. In his eyes, I saw not only astonishment but also deep envy.
At that moment, I felt somewhat puzzled. What was there to envy? The banquet at the Undersea Dragon Palace would only consist of seafood, right? However, seeing the expression on the Fishman’s face made me vaguely anticipate what a top-tier banquet might offer—would there be crabs as big as basins? Or lobsters taller than a person?
Uh, if the Dragon King invited his subordinates like the Shrimp Soldiers and Crab Generals to dinner but served shrimp and crabs on the table, would they immediately rebel?
Lost in thought, Wen Jianru and Zhuo Wei led me into a restaurant. The three of us were quite bored and played a game of Landlord for about half an hour before around ten Fishmen pushed in dining carts.
Zhuo Wei put away the cards and invited me and Wen Jianru to take our seats. The three of us sat down casually without needing to distinguish between first or last seats.
Once we were seated, a Fishman pushed over a dining cart. He first poured each of us a large cup of water and then skillfully placed plates on the table. The plates were small and contained some fruit preserves. With each plate he set down, the Fishman announced its name: "Four Nut Fruits—Pine Nuts, Cashews, Peanuts, Figs; Four Fresh Fruits—Watermelon, Grapes, Jujubes, Melons..."
Wow, what a grand display! It felt like a Manchu Han Imperial Feast. I picked up a peanut with my chopsticks and popped it into my mouth. Mmm, not bad—crunchy and fragrant. I looked up just in time to catch the Fishman's astonished gaze. I was somewhat bewildered; was there a different way to eat peanuts?
Turning to Zhuo Wei, he reached into the plate and grabbed a handful of peanuts, opening his mouth wide to shove them all in before crunching away. Looking at Wen Jianru, he was even more exaggerated—he tipped the entire plate of peanuts into his mouth in one swift motion; in the blink of an eye, that plate was completely empty.
Seeing my astonished expression, Zhuo Wei swallowed hard and took a sip of water before laughing, "Sorry for making you laugh at us; we are just this straightforward!"
It was clear they were indeed very straightforward.
After the first Fishman finished serving food and left with his cart, another Fishman came up pushing another cart. He placed a round plate on the table covered with a silver lid that looked quite upscale.
The Fishman grabbed the handle on top of the silver lid and lifted it while loudly announcing, "The first dish: Romeo and Juliet!"
Romeo and Juliet? With such a romantic name, it must be an extremely luxurious dish. I inhaled slightly and faintly caught a whiff of something unpleasant from the suburbs of London.
Focusing my gaze on it left me dumbfounded—Damn! What kind of Romeo and Juliet is this? This is clearly Stir-Fried Pig Intestines with Shredded Carrots! Could it be that shredded carrots are Romeo? And pig intestines are Juliet? This is too ridiculous! Looking at Zhuo Wei, he was already smiling widely with chopsticks in hand, gesturing for me to start eating.
The next dish—Faye Wong and Nicholas Tse’s romance—Fishman lifted the lid, and I saw a plate of twice-cooked pork. Well, this dish seemed somewhat acceptable.
For the third dish, "In a Lover's Eyes, Xi Shi", it turned out to be Tomato Stir-Fried Longan. Tsk tsk, the homophone for tomato is Xi Shi, and naturally, the eyes of a lover are Longan.
...
A total of over ten dishes were served, each with names that sounded high-end and artistic, but every dish could easily be found at a street food stall for just ten or eight bucks. Finally, two Fishman brought out a large bowl; this was tonight's main dish called Interconnected Threads.
Hearing that name, I thought to myself, this dish shouldn’t be bad, right? Interconnected Threads, could it be Shark Fin?
When the lid was lifted, I was instantly filled with rage and wanted to stab Wen Jianru with my chopsticks and then take down Zhuo Wei. Damn, what is this Interconnected Threads? This is clearly a bowl of instant noodles, and it’s even with pickled vegetables!
I snorted and glanced sideways at Wen Jianru: “Dragon King, is this your highest standard banquet? In such a grand dragon palace, there isn’t even any lobster or crab?”
Wen Jianru looked displeased at my words: “Lobster and crab are dishes only for low-level employees; how could they possibly be served at this level of banquet? Mr. Zhong, I rarely get to eat these dishes; don’t you like them?”
“I’m tired of all these dishes!” I scoffed. There was still something unsaid in my heart; according to you, if I ate biscuits and instant noodles every meal, wouldn’t that be particularly luxurious? Hmph, you all treat it as the main dish of the highest banquet; do you believe I could scare you by pulling out hundreds of packets of instant noodles?
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