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墨書 Inktalez
When I woke up, I saw three faces surrounding me.
I looked around in a daze, the rope still around my neck, though the other end had been cut. I gasped for air, savoring one of the most basic needs of life. Indeed, the most precious things in the world are free; at that moment, I really wanted to shout: "Protect the air, it's everyone's responsibility."
Guan Zengbin thumped my chest lightly. "I told you not to try that! You scared us half to death!"
"How long was I out?" I asked while pulling at the rope.
Liu Yi looked at me helplessly. "You think this is like a TV show where you just faint and everything's fine? From the moment you hit the ground to when you woke up, it probably didn't take more than ten seconds. Otherwise, you'd be lying in an emergency room right now."
I propped myself up on a stool and sat down. "There was hardly any pain. After a few seconds, I felt like I was losing clarity. This might have been due to brain hypoxia causing the fainting. Now there's just a bit of pain from where the rope constricted my neck, but it's nothing serious. If it were Wang Yiman, she would have likely died while unconscious."
"So what did you gain from this life-risking simulation?" Guan Zengbin asked.
I nodded seriously. "Yes, there was indeed something. Just before I lost consciousness, my mind suddenly cleared up a lot. I don't know if it was a moment of clarity before death, but there were two asymmetrical situations that we might deduce indicate someone else was involved in this suicide."
Gu Chen quickly interjected, "You mean it's similar to Gao Rui's case? Someone had spoken with her before?"
I gently touched the marks on my neck. "Exactly."
"What asymmetrical situations?" Guan Zengbin asked.
I raised one finger. "First, I suddenly remembered that the knot tied around Wang Yiman's neck wasn't tied like we would do it. I observed it closely; it was a type of knot that tightens the more you struggle. Only someone who has specifically learned about knots could tie it that way."
I raised a second finger. "Second, she knew how to avoid strangling her windpipe so that death wouldn’t be too painful. Moreover, before dying, she went to the bathroom and emptied her bladder and bowels. This way, after death, there wouldn't be any messy scenes."
"This is asymmetry—information asymmetry. Wang Yiman graduated high school and then became a full-time housewife taking care of children. If an ordinary person were to commit suicide, how could they possibly consider all these details?" I pointed at Gu Chen beside me. "If it were you hanging yourself, what would you do?"
Gu Chen shrugged and said, "Just tie the rope, then put your head inside."
I snapped my fingers and replied, "Exactly. If an ordinary person were to commit suicide, they wouldn't think of all these things. So I see suicide as suicide, but someone must have taught Wang Yiman these techniques before she decided to take that step. Gao Rui is a biology teacher; it's normal for him to know about such things, but a woman..."
Guan Zengbin offered a different opinion: "Maybe she learned it from her husband; it's hard to say. This is called a morbid curiosity; she might have collected this information herself."
I nodded and said, "That's true, but in such a short time, Wang Yiman committed suicide, and Gao Rui did too. Their methods were so similar that I suspect there's something fishy going on. We know Gao Rui's reason—he lost someone he loved—but what about Wang Yiman?"
"Wang Yiman lost someone she loved too!" Guan Zengbin tapped his head and said, "Her husband and child both died in an accident, right?"
At that moment, Gu Chen spoke up: "But that was five years ago!"
On this point, I actually agreed with Guan Zengbin's perspective. I tugged at my hair and slowly said, "It's not that simple; sometimes emotions are complicated. Some people endure humiliation their whole lives, and even centenarians have committed suicide. Sometimes it just takes the right trigger; if they encounter it, they might indeed take that step."
"A trigger?" Gu Chen asked in confusion. "What kind of trigger?"
I looked at the jar of puzzle pieces that Liu and Gu Chen had spilled out and said, "A trigger that allows one to let go of everything and then commit suicide. I think we should piece together this puzzle and see what we can make of it."
By four o'clock the next morning, we were all bleary-eyed but had finally completed the puzzle. However, strangely enough, we were still missing a few pieces; we didn't know where they had gone. The entire image was just a typical scene of Pleasant Goat on the grassland—nothing special.
"Did you lose any pieces when you dumped them out?" I asked Liu Dao. "This is evidence from the deceased!"
Liu shook his head vigorously. "Nope, everything's here. But that's not the point, is it? The point is I completely forgot why I was piecing this puzzle together in the first place. You said this puzzle is a significant clue, but I can't see anything important with my own two eyes. Can you explain?"
I scratched my head; this was getting awkward. But if it wasn't something important, why did Wang Yiman put the puzzle in the glass jar?
"Of course!" Guan Zengbin yawned and said, "It must have been something she played with when her daughter was alive. After her daughter passed away, she used the puzzle to express her grief, piecing it together whenever she missed her. It probably has nothing to do with this case. Although it was a wasted effort last night, at least she finished it, which can be seen as a tribute to Wang Yiman."
"Damn!" Liu caught Guan Zengbin's yawn and followed suit. "What is this all about? I still have to investigate Yucai Middle School today!"
"Why are there ten pieces missing?" I asked.
"They probably got lost while playing," Guan Zengbin replied.
I frowned and said, "I need to go somewhere."
"Where?" everyone asked.
"To Wang Yiman's house."
The only response I received was Liu's snoring.
At that moment, I was sitting on Wang Yiman's bed in her bedroom, surrounded by silence. The only light came from inside Wang Yiman's house; outside the window, it was still pitch black. It was four-thirty in the early morning, and everyone was deep in sleep. Gu Chen and Guan Zengbin were in the living room, not disturbing me.
In fact, I had been sitting there for over half an hour, lost in thought.
I closed my eyes and imagined what Wang Yiman might have done every night. If I were Wang Yiman, how would I fall asleep? I stared at the family photo of three and found myself lost in contemplation. When a person is utterly lonely, what do they do?
Loneliness and solitude have always been two different things.
Wang Yiman was lonely but not desolate. Despite being only thirty-two years old and perfectly capable of finding another husband and starting a family, she chose not to. Over the past five years, perhaps many had tried to set her up or pursued her, but she remained unmoved.
In those five years, how did Wang Yiman spend each lonely yet not desolate night?
I am Wang Yiman.
I casually pulled out a glass jar from the drawer of the Dressing Table and poured out the pieces of the puzzle.
Yes, I am lonely, so I can piece together these puzzles to get through each solitary night. This way, I won't fall asleep, I won't dream of my deceased husband and daughter, and I won't feel lonely. I don't want to dream because every dream I have is a nightmare.
I sat dazed on the bed, transitioning out of Wang Yiman's identity.
Yes, my name is Wu Meng because my mother hoped that from then on, she would never have nightmares again. If you don’t want to have nightmares, it means you don’t want to dream at all. Because every dream is a nightmare. I don't know how to describe this feeling, even though every time I fall asleep, I also have nightmares.
Perhaps the greatest comfort in the world is simply wishing you a night without dreams.
The first ray of morning sunlight streamed through the window, and sounds began to emerge around me: vendors setting up their stalls to sell breakfast on the street, an Old Lady who had risen early to exercise, and Old Men already gathered around a chess table engaged in battle.
The loneliness became noisy, and solitude vanished.
Kobe, have you ever seen Los Angeles at four o'clock in the Early Morning?
Wang Yiman replied that she could only peacefully fall asleep after Early Morning. Because there were sounds, because it was no longer silent.
Finally, I understood what this glass jar of puzzle pieces was for.
Was it meant to be pieced together during moments of loneliness?
At first, it might have been like that, but as time went on, even with my eyes closed, I knew exactly where each piece was placed.
This is loneliness.
The puzzle is not meant to be assembled.
I stepped out of the room, and Gu Chen and Guan Zengbin were already asleep on the couch.
I deliberately shouted, "It's thundering! Bring in the laundry!"
The two of them jolted awake, confusion written all over their faces. I said, "I know what that puzzle is for now. Right now, call all the comrades from the Police Force and have them search Wang Yiman's house. Even if we have to move all the furniture out, we need to find those remaining puzzle pieces."
"What for?" Gu Chen asked, dumbfounded. "You want to gather all the police just to look for a few puzzle pieces? Even if we find them, what's the point?"
I shook my head. "There aren't so many things in this world that are useful or useless. I just want to help a lonely woman find what she wants."
"You're crazy!" Guan Zengbin muttered under his breath.
I finally understood what loneliness meant; these puzzle pieces were not meant to be assembled. The pieces were stained with various marks, as if they had been in different environments. This was something I noticed when I first got the puzzle.
A widow, on every lonely night, would scatter these hundreds of pieces throughout her rooms. Then she would search for them piece by piece—perhaps under the bed, perhaps in the couch cushions, perhaps on top of the refrigerator. By the time she had found most of them, dawn would have already broken, and sounds would start coming from outside.
She feared loneliness and could only escape from it.
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