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"I'm sorry to trouble you again." Sitting cross-legged on the soft cushion, Yang Xiaoyou's face displayed a calm expression, as if she had finally settled down.
"This is not my merit; it is the will of the predecessors," Feng Ji replied, shaking his head.
At that moment, the door of the simple room swung open, and Feng Lin entered, dressed in her usual attire, carrying a tray with tea and rice balls.
Seeing her, Yang Xiaoyou felt her mind calm down significantly. The refreshing aura she exuded seemed to harmonize with her earlier strange demeanor.
The ability to regain such tranquility stemmed not only from the lingering energy that had accumulated in the shrine but also from Feng Ji and Feng Lin simultaneously using their own energy to guide and suppress Yang Xiaoyou, helping her return to her usual state.
However, even though she had somewhat recovered, she still felt a bit drained, as if she had just come out of a fierce battle.
After setting down the items, Feng Lin knelt beside them, her serene expression fixed on the two in front of her. Meanwhile, a cat perched on her head seemed to have spotted something and jumped down in front of Yang Xiaoyou, fixating on the pocket in front of her as if wanting to paw at it.
The pocket trembled slightly as the cat approached.
Noticing this, Yang Xiaoyou reached out and pinched the back of the cat's neck, tossing it aside. It seemed she had forgotten to put away the food for it after eating and sleeping.
"When I first met you, your own malevolent aura surprised me greatly. But that aura was quite strange; at that time, you hadn't even grasped the concept of energy yet it couldn't influence you. I initially thought that studying energy cultivation techniques with Lin would solve the problem. However, looking back now, I realize that I underestimated it," Feng Ji said after pondering for a moment while Yang Xiaoyou continued to swat away the sneaky black cat.
"My old man warned me long ago not to cultivate two types of energy simultaneously. At that time, I didn't take it seriously," Yang Xiaoyou sighed after hearing this and paused her actions.
Initially, due to the clear distinction between her inner and outer personalities, suppressing her inner self during its outbursts was sufficient. Although she understood that this issue needed addressing, she didn't consider it a major problem. However, now that this slow infiltration was beginning to affect her original personality directly, Yang Xiaoyou felt a sense of discomfort and anxiety about the unknown.
"No, that's not the issue. When you came over last time, I noticed something strange about your two types of energy. It seems like both energies coexist within you without any mental conflict or contradiction. It feels as if there is another version of you—completely different—controlling these two energies. If this continues like this, it might not be a big problem. But right now, what I'm sensing from you isn't good," Feng Ji observed sharply. Perhaps his body was aging, but his insight and mental acuity had only grown sharper over time.
"You're correct. Due to an accident, I have severe dissociative identity disorder. It hasn't been much of an issue until recently; perhaps because of some recent killings I've committed, my other personality has begun to merge strangely with my current self."
I don't know whether it's good or bad; I don't particularly like the person I am now. Yet, it is certainly better than my worst expectations. Recently, I've been planning to strengthen my vitality and increase the nutrients supplied to my brain, aiming to solve the problem in the most fundamental way. I just don't know if this will lead to any unforeseen changes.
Yang Xiaoyou had originally intended to discuss this in depth with Tong Fengji later, so he naturally laid out his situation in detail.
Both Feng Ji and Feng Lin were extraordinary individuals; such news wouldn't have much impact on them.
"Is that really the case? However, from my years of experience, the method you've chosen might not be a viable solution. The body is the foundation of a person. Even someone as powerful as Yuan Fang cannot escape the constraints of their physical form. Using oneself as a furnace, with vitality as the flame, refining and purifying the spirit is indeed the most direct yet arduous method, starting from the very basics." Upon hearing Yang Xiaoyou's words and plans, Feng Ji nodded in agreement.
Although he had never encountered such a situation before, his own experiences and level of understanding allowed him to discern some issues.
"However, you must try to control your urges for killing and destruction lately. Use calm experiences and time to cope with it. At the same time, you need appropriate methods to suppress and release these feelings. You should find other activities to divert some of your energy; this aspect needs your own judgment," Feng Ji then offered his own advice.
For nearly an entire duration, Yang Xiaoyou consulted Tong Fengji about various confusions and problems he faced, while Feng Ji patiently answered each one. Thanks to his exceptional insights, most of his suggestions were incisive, greatly benefiting Yang Xiaoyou.
Feng Lin quietly listened to their discussion from the side, only speaking up when prompted. Occasionally, she would tilt her head in thought, lost in her own world.
After dining at Monsoon Shrine that evening, just as Yang Xiaoyou was preparing to take his leave, his phone rang. Seeing that it was Qi Menglu calling made him guess that her family had arrived at Z City since school was about to start.
Seeing the caller ID, Yang Xiaoyou let out a sigh of relief that he had instructed Charming Shadow to hide herself. Otherwise, if that girl showed up and saw Charming Shadow in that outfit, she would probably tear him apart.
"Menglu has arrived; since school starts soon, let's go hang out together tomorrow," Yang Xiaoyou said after hanging up the phone, addressing Feng Lin beside him.
"Okay," Feng Lin nodded and grabbed the cat that was trying to sneak over to Yang Xiaoyou.
"Then it's settled; I'm off now. See you tomorrow, Old Master Feng," Yang Xiaoyou waved goodbye to them.
Today's conversation with Tong Fengji helped him clarify many of his issues.
Recently, whether in Tokyo or Vietnam, he had personally killed quite a few people. The cycle of killing and his inner persona's influence fed into each other—killing triggered unrest within his inner self, which in turn made him more prone to violent thoughts. It had become a vicious cycle.
The root of solving these problems lies in strengthening his physical constitution; however, this is a long-term endeavor that clearly cannot be completed in a short time. Thus, Feng Ji also suggested that before addressing the root cause, he should also tackle the symptoms.
In this situation, for the time being, he had to remain calm and act like a vegetarian, resisting the inexplicable urges to kill that sometimes arose.
At the same time, he felt somewhat fortunate that Charming Shadow was right there with him. Due to the suppression of his murderous impulses, he had a place to vent the pent-up frustration.
When Bai served him and relieved his physiological buildup, it was evident that powerful and violent emotions surged within him during his outbursts. However, after releasing those emotions, they faded significantly, leaving his heart blank.
This could be considered an alternative way of coping; otherwise, keeping everything bottled up might lead to even greater troubles.
However, now that Hive Security Company had taken steps in several directions simultaneously, there was relatively ample time for adjustment before Hli re-emerged to attract Firepower.
Whether it was training Charming Shadow or gradually channeling those murderous emotions, he should have enough time. Additionally, if medication and nutrition were kept up, he should be able to maintain a stable state before needing to take action again. Otherwise, with Aunt Flo visiting every so often, who knew when trouble might arise?
Just like last time with that drug dealer from America; if this guy was helping someone like Luo Guohui import medicinal materials, it could lead to a major problem if discovered. Of course, the likelihood of that happening was quite low; that White House Correspondent wouldn’t show up here.
While constantly reminding himself of this, Yang Xiaoyou couldn’t help but chuckle softly.
I am a pure person; it’s just that some inexplicable misunderstandings arose from my keyboard antics.
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