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墨書 Inktalez
I once again came to the place where Zhang Xiaobei works, to Paris, France. This place is where I have been the most times and is the place I am most familiar with. I have no other way to contact him. I can only come here and try my luck again, because my intuition tells me that his time is running out.
I can't remember how many times I have been here, but luckily, this time he agreed to meet me, and we arranged to meet at Yi Hao Apartment. To be honest, I am very excited and looking forward to it, because after so many years, no matter what he thinks of me, I still consider him my husband, in the past, now, and in the future.
I am a very mindful woman, not because I believe in Christianity and worship God, but because that's who I am at heart. Perhaps it's because of my experiences that have taught me something, made me understand something. I have always been a person who sticks to one thing, otherwise it's not convincing. So I have embarked on this path of self-redemption, hoping to help the people around me while saving myself.
Mrs. Marina arranged an apartment for me, which was the one he used to live in. I arrived earlier than him. I deliberately tidied myself up, not in the glamorous style of French women, very ordinary, very real, just a simple and clean me. In my own eyes, I am still the same Betty of the past, just much older. The ruthless years have taken away my youthful appearance, as if wanting to write the vicissitudes of 5,000 years of Chinese history on my face. I am still very confident, I have a childlike heart.
Someone knocked on the door, and I got up to open it. I knew it was him. I had imagined all sorts of scenarios for meeting him, but when the moment actually arrived, I realized I was wrong.
He walked in calmly, not looking directly into my eyes. It seemed that my arrival did not make him happy or bring him any surprises. He silently entered the room, sat quietly on the edge of the bed, and kept his head down without saying a word.
I carefully observed him for a long time and found that he was no longer the Zhang Xiaobei of the past, nor the husband I once knew. He was still thin, unchanged in that aspect, but his skin had become even more delicate and fair. He didn't look old at all; in fact, he appeared ten years younger than me. However, he seemed to be in poor spirits, speaking little and feeling physically weak, as if he was a bit depressed.
People are often like this. When they don't see each other, even if they have thousands of words to say, when they really meet, it seems that the words are swallowed back and there is no urgent desire to express them. But I couldn't help it, I still spoke first.
"Are you okay? I heard that your loved one just passed away. You don't have to feel guilty. We haven't been together for so long, this is normal, I can understand!"
He still didn't speak, just sat quietly by the bed. I continued, "I came, and it seems like you're not surprised, or can I understand that you've encountered something! I don't know how many letters you've written to me. In the first few years, I did receive your letters, but I couldn't come. There was a reason I didn't come, and you shouldn't blame me. I've been living very poorly, just like the prophecy when you left. My life has been very miserable since you left. Do you want to know how I survived? If I didn't have a firm belief in my heart, I wouldn't be in this world long ago. I don't know if you have the same premonition as me. There's always a voice telling me that I must come to find you, so I came! Look up and talk to me. How have you been all these years? By the way, I've given myself a Chinese name, called Liu Ying. I also went to your hometown, China, a beautiful place! But now it's not very peaceful there. It seems to be suffering from the same war as here!
I spoke calmly like this, looking at the reaction of the man in front of me. It seemed like he was taking it in. His body twitched slightly, and suddenly he spoke, his voice so low and weak!
"I'm sorry for what I did to you. So many years have passed, and you still remember me! You shouldn't have come to find me. I'm a dying person, making you laugh!"
"You must have experienced a lot. Have your dreams come true? You've been working hard on the road to success, haven't you? I just don't know what this road to success is for you. To be honest, I don't care about these things. I'm just happy to see you alive and well."
"Betty, what are you trying to say? Are you here to suffer with me? Haven't you suffered enough with me? But maybe I won't even have the chance to suffer with you! You should leave, you can stay here, you can live here well, but not with me!"
His voice choked several times, as if he was about to cry.
"Alcohol? I want alcohol! Bring me alcohol quickly!" he began to shout, his temper seeming extremely irritable. Suddenly, he got up, pushed open the door, and ran out. I immediately got up and ran out after him.
He ran to the kitchen, frantically found a bottle of liquor, opened the cap, and gulped it down in big mouthfuls! After drinking it all in one go, he suddenly collapsed and sat on the ground, not saying a word. I carefully approached and supported his arm, slowly helping him back to the room we were in before. I wanted to continue to open his heart, to let him pour out all the things he wanted to tell me.
Like this, he slowly drank cup after cup, while I sat quietly, watching him drink. I was waiting for him to say something, something I didn't know. I didn't expect that he would end up drinking himself into a stupor and passing out.
With the help of Mrs. Marina, we found out where he lived while he was in a drunken stupor, so I ended up being the one to take him home.
He has been talking nonsense all the way, and the most frequent thing he heard was the fear of Taliesin coming to find him again. Isn't the person dead? How could he still come to find him? He also said that this woman wants to kill him and told him to Surrender. In a drunken haze, these few sentences kept churning in his mind. I wanted to ask something else, but I couldn't ask a single question. Vaguely, I feel that he must have other things going on. I must find a way to figure it out. I can't let him continue to fall like this.
Arriving in Paris, France, it was my first time seeing this beautiful courtyard. I didn't expect him to live in such a high-end place. It can be seen that he has realized his dream and lives in a big house! But all of this seems a bit out of place with who he is now, so mismatched.
Upon entering the room, I found myself in a grand hall that felt somewhat like a palace, but it was quite messy. Small items were scattered everywhere, as if the place had been ransacked. I also noticed a peach-colored, lace-trimmed nightgown on the banister of the staircase leading to the second floor. The fabric looked delicate and smooth, and it seemed like it would fall apart at a touch. This must be the property of the lady of the house, or more precisely, Taliesin's clothing. Yes, she must be of noble birth, a beautiful and elegant woman, perhaps even a noblewoman! Zhang Xiaobei is truly fortunate to have married such a lady. As I pondered this, I made my way upstairs and pushed open the door to the bedroom.
This must be Taliesin's bedroom, exuding the same aristocratic air. Judging by the dressing table and the mirror, I thought that these might be things I would never see again in my lifetime, as they were close to perfection. There were many torn pieces of paper and scraps on the bedroom floor, as if something had been intentionally destroyed, or perhaps there had been an argument. This is all just my speculation.
Suddenly, there was a scream downstairs. I quickly ran down and saw Zhang Xiaobei falling off the sofa, hitting his head on the sharp corner of the coffee table. I hurried to help him, and when he calmed down and fell asleep, I finally quieted down and reflected on everything.
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