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墨書 Inktalez
Chapter Eight
The moment I left the city, a wave of relief washed over me. The scenery outside the car window rushed by, as if carrying away all the worries that had burdened my heart. I had no idea where this journey would take me or what the future held, but I knew that only by distancing myself from here could I reevaluate my life and find the answers that belonged to me.
I chose a small town nestled in the mountains, far from the noise of civilization, surrounded only by tranquil forests and simple residents. Upon my arrival, I felt a twinge of unease, but it was quickly replaced by the calmness of this place. I rented a small wooden cabin, enveloped by lush greenery, as if I were in a world of my own.
Every morning, I would stroll along the paths, breathing in the fresh air and soaking in the serenity of nature. This lifestyle gradually brought me peace, and my anxiety began to dissipate bit by bit.
I started to reflect on my past life and the painful relationship that had troubled me so deeply. I realized that perhaps I had invested too much in that relationship, even losing sight of myself. I had relied too heavily on him, placing his feelings above my own while neglecting my inner voice.
During this time, I learned to converse with myself and listen to my inner thoughts. The burdensome pain that once weighed heavily on me began to lighten. I no longer thought about him or the woman named "L" every day; instead, I focused on myself and my personal growth.
One morning while walking, I met an elderly local man. He was quite old but full of vigor, always wearing a gentle smile. We quickly became friends, taking daily walks around the town and chatting about life's little matters.
One day, he suddenly asked me, "Young lady, you don't seem like you're here for a vacation; you seem more like you're searching for something."
I paused for a moment before nodding: "Yes, I'm here to escape some things, but now I feel like I'm searching for myself."
The old man smiled and gently patted my shoulder: "Everyone needs time to get to know themselves, especially when they're young. Remember, no matter what happens, the most important thing is to find your inner self."
His words struck a deep chord within me. I realized he was right; I hadn't come here to escape but to discover my true self and find inner balance. I could no longer let the shadows of my past affect my life or allow a relationship to define who I was.
As time passed, I found myself gradually regaining peace. I no longer thought about him every day or suffered from that past relationship. Instead, I began to enjoy life here, relishing each tranquil morning and warm evening.
I also started writing in a journal, recording my feelings and thoughts. Through writing, I reevaluated that relationship and came to understand myself anew. I recognized that while the pain of the past was hard to erase, it had also made me stronger and more aware.
During this time, I gradually realized that perhaps the feelings between him and me had come to an end, or rather, my heart could no longer bear that kind of relationship. I no longer yearned to return to the past, nor was I obsessed with whether he still loved that woman. Now, I only wanted to find a future that belonged to me, a future unbound by the past.
A month later, I felt ready and returned to that city.
As I stood at his doorstep, the anxiety and unease I had felt before were gone, replaced by a sense of calm and determination. I knew that this meeting would determine our future, and regardless of the outcome, I was prepared to face it.
I pressed the doorbell, and he quickly came to answer. Upon seeing me, surprise and nervousness crossed his face, but I noticed a hint of fatigue and helplessness in his eyes as well.
We sat down on the sofa, and he spoke first. “You’re back. I’ve been waiting for you.”
I nodded and took a deep breath. “I’ve made up my mind.”
He looked at me anxiously, waiting for my response.
“I’ve decided to break up.” My voice was calm and resolute. “During this time, I found myself again and discovered the true answer. I realized that our feelings can no longer return to what they once were. Whether or not you have let go of ‘L’, I can no longer love you wholeheartedly like before.”
Upon hearing these words, his expression turned sad and lost, but he didn’t try to hold me back anymore. He lowered his head and softly said, “I respect your decision. I hope you find true happiness.”
In that moment, we both fell silent. The sweetness and beauty of what once was had now turned into memories, while the future would be a new life for each of us to pursue.
As I walked out of his house, I felt an unprecedented sense of relief. Although we had once loved each other deeply, I now understood that some feelings are destined not to last. Rather than forcing ourselves to maintain it, it was better to let go and give each other a new beginning.
I left that city and started a new life. The pain of the past might still surface from time to time, but I knew I was no longer bound by it. I learned to face the past, accept reality, and embark on a fresh start.
Chapter Nine
After leaving that city, I returned to my hometown. The air here is fresh, the sky blue, and the water clear; everything feels so peaceful, a stark contrast to my life in the city. As time passed, I gradually felt a tranquility I had never known before, a calmness that belonged solely to me.
During my days in my hometown, I reestablished close connections with my parents and friends. They had always been by my side, offering endless support and love. Returning to this familiar environment, I felt as if I had rediscovered the confident and optimistic version of myself.
I no longer thought about the past every day or dwelled on the pain I once felt. Instead, a new strength emerged within me, a determination that came from deep inside. I began to rethink my life and set new goals. In the past, I had focused too much on a relationship and neglected my own growth and development. But now, I finally understood that true happiness comes from self-fulfillment and inner satisfaction, not from relying on someone else's affection.
One evening, I sat alone by the small lake in my hometown as the setting sun cast its golden rays on the water's surface, creating a shimmering reflection. I gazed quietly at the distant horizon, my thoughts unusually clear. Reflecting on that relationship, I no longer felt pain or regret; instead, I felt gratitude. It was because of this experience that I learned how to better understand myself and how to grow in adversity.
Suddenly, my phone buzzed with a message from him. Just a few short sentences filled with sincere wishes: "I hope you are doing well. Thank you for your companionship in the past. I will remember the path we walked together and wish you find your own happiness in the future."
Looking at this message warmed my heart. Although we had parted ways, our feelings for each other had not faded; instead, they transformed into a mature and profound blessing. I replied, "Thank you, and I hope you find your own happiness too. The memories we shared will always be cherished."
After sending the message, I took a deep breath as if releasing all my burdens. The pain and confusion of the past had become the foundation of my growth, while the future lay ahead as an expansive realm waiting for me.
As dusk settled in, I stood up and slowly walked back home along the lakeside path. Along the way, familiar scenery filled me with strength and hope. I knew that although the road ahead was uncertain, I was ready to face any challenge that came my way.
Once home, I sat at my desk and opened my journal. On the page, I wrote: "To my past self, thank you for allowing me to experience all of this; to my future self, please carry hope and courage as you move forward."
In that moment, I felt an unprecedented sense of peace and fulfillment. The pains of the past no longer bound me; instead, they became the driving force propelling me forward. No matter what challenges lay ahead, I would meet them with steadfast determination.
As night deepened, I turned off the lights and lay in bed, filled with anticipation for tomorrow. Though this chapter of my story had come to an end, a new story belonging to me was just beginning.
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